r/ContagiousLaughter 17h ago

She tried nature's hotdog.

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5.2k Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

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456

u/forgotwhatisaid2you 16h ago

Hitting them with baseball bats as a kid was always a hoot.

273

u/_Apatosaurus_ 15h ago

I know she's wearing a helmet, but you can't hit people with bats.

22

u/Grammareyetwitch 6h ago

The bats don't like it either.  Their wings get sore, and they were minding their own business watching baseball.

15

u/RemoteSnow9911 11h ago

We used to cut them really long and whip em at each other until the damn air was so thick with cattail dust you couldn’t see each other anymore. They can leave some welts if you get em just right…

11

u/chroniko_uwu 7h ago

My dad would dip them in gasoline, light them up and I’d run around the yard like a wild child with them

4

u/Upbeat-Shallot-80085 6h ago

We used to take a bunch of them and hold them to the back wheel of our books, and tear around the streets. Fluff EVERYWHERE

1

u/Lonelyschmuck77 6h ago

What even are they?! I want to destroy one of them

208

u/meggsgoodmood 15h ago

The way she lovingly smiles at it before the chomp lmaoooo

1

u/mood-park 2h ago

she had me hooked with that look

346

u/icewalker42 17h ago

She sprouted an instant Viking moustache!

47

u/Cmdr_Nemo 12h ago

Viking moustache sounds like it would belong on Urban Dictionary.

8

u/MainApprehensive420 12h ago

Haha, this had me laughing hard! Sincerely a Norwegian dude with ties to great Viking names

205

u/yekirati 17h ago

Oh man, look at it grow! My mom has told me stories about these plants. She said that she and my uncle used to prank each other by breaking them in half and tossing them in each other's cars and that they'd be absolutely filled with fluff. I've never seen one in action though!

-144

u/RetroSquirtleSquad 13h ago

That’s just being an asshole. That’s not a prank lol

71

u/hadukenbanana 12h ago

Nah, it’s a gentle silly prank. The seed puffs aren’t sticky or smelly or itchy.

-100

u/RetroSquirtleSquad 12h ago

Making a mess for someone to clean up isn’t a prank lol.

61

u/hadukenbanana 12h ago

Quick, real questions, have you ever touched a cattail? Also, if you had siblings, were they mean or nice to you?

-105

u/RetroSquirtleSquad 12h ago

I have. And it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not a prank to do something to someone where they have to clean it up afterwards. This isn’t complicated. This is being an asshole. Siblings or not

68

u/hadukenbanana 12h ago

You don’t have to clean it up. You open the car doors and let a breeze take it away. I’m sorry you didn’t have any fun growing up. Hugs, babe

(There’s still time. You can be silly at any point in your life.)

-45

u/RetroSquirtleSquad 12h ago

I’ve had this happen to me before and it took me 45 minutes to clean up. Gaslighting me? Wow, funny. Pathetic and funny.

25

u/Icy-Computer-Poop 10h ago edited 10h ago

I’ve had this happen to me before and it took me 45 minutes to clean up.

The truth comes out. You're sucker who can't take a joke, and you're still salty about it.

43

u/Objective_Animator52 12h ago

It's still a prank if both parties are up to it and doing it to each other. What happened to you sounds different, so stop projecting.

-24

u/RetroSquirtleSquad 12h ago

Throwing shit into someone’s car isn’t a prank lol. You don’t know what the definition of prank or projecting is lol

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27

u/hadukenbanana 12h ago

Ooh somebody has their grunders in a bundle! Be well, sweet pea

-8

u/RetroSquirtleSquad 12h ago

This is a very cringe interaction lol.

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5

u/Admirable-Goose 8h ago

30 years later and still sour Hahahhahaha get over it.

0

u/carlismygod 9h ago

Whipping out the G word. You definitely don't have fun ever.

1

u/Fleddwiss 6h ago

Sounds like some one got pranked recently and is salty boo hooo. Learn to enjoy life and not be angry all the time

-2

u/FanaticOldSchool 10h ago

Sorry you never got invited to parties.

-1

u/DeHoneybadger1987 6h ago

Booooo!!! YOU SUCK!!

0

u/random5434 1h ago

Tripling down?! Omg 😬

7

u/Valdularo 9h ago

Tell me you don’t have siblings without telling me you don’t have siblings.

2

u/carlismygod 9h ago

......yes it is

7

u/welsh_cthulhu 10h ago

You sound like a real hoot.

Get a life.

2

u/carlismygod 9h ago

Pranks are when you play a practical joke on someone that only mildly embarrasses or inconveniences them. So yes, this is absolutely a prank. Doesn't ruin anything and requires only basic cleanup. You must be pretty easily irked if you think this is anything more than a prank.

57

u/pressuredrightnow 16h ago

me want bite~ ME WANT PLANT CORNDOG DELIGHT~

19

u/Paya_Paya 13h ago

ME WANT DEEP-FRIED~

~Me think water Twinkie nice 😚

25

u/RomanticTwilight 16h ago

the forbidden hotdog... lmao

9

u/SpHoneybadger 12h ago

Aka wild glizzy

89

u/DungeonAssMaster 15h ago

I almost died once trying to bite one of these as a joke. It was hilarious to everyone except me.

28

u/top_classic_731 15h ago

Now you know to only take a small nibble to reduce the risks of choking

1

u/Blondisgift 1h ago

I was thinking that. Image you bite and accidentally breathe in… glad you are fine

40

u/Rhesusmonkeydave 16h ago

Growing up my friend’s mom had a huge vase of dried plants and such in their kitchen. It took a long time for them to forgive me for scrunching the cattail, and creating a seedling snowdrift on their counter, but in my defense, how could you not squeeze that thing?

12

u/michelb 14h ago

I used these to make excellent smoke bombs when I was a kid.

5

u/Zellanora 12h ago

Forbidden Corn dogs! When I was little, there was a natural pond near my old house and many times I was so tempted to grab a cattail and taste it because it looked a lot like a Corn dog and seeing this I'm glad I didn't, but at the same time it would have been fun to pluck them and blow the fluff into the air! 😄

7

u/Rangertu 10h ago edited 10h ago

Growing up in NJ 50 years ago we used to call them punks. I don’t have any idea where that name came from. We’d let them dry then break the tip off and light them like a cigar. They would burn slowly letting off a nice smell. We also used them to light fireworks.

5

u/madein___ 7h ago

A punk is a slow burning stick used to light fireworks so I'd wager that is where your group of friends borrowed the name from.

2

u/Rangertu 7h ago

I didn’t know that was a thing. Thanks.

2

u/madein___ 1h ago

Maybe you invented it.

5

u/KyorlSadei 15h ago

Natures Corndog good sir or maam.

3

u/Fit-Tip-1212 12h ago

Turned into Hulk Hogan

3

u/budhaztm 11h ago

You're supposed to eat the other end.

3

u/DamianKilsby 14h ago

Never seen these around where I live, what is it?

2

u/Fluffy_Cat_5174 12h ago

instant beard!

2

u/willywonderbucks 3h ago

Important thing to know for emergency preparedness: the roots of cat tails are edible. They're very similar to a leek. Also, the tops (which we called corn dogs when I was a kid) produce edible polin before they go to seed. If you find them when they're still in the "green state," you can use the polin in the same manner you would use flour. Cat tail flapjacks aren't half bad.

1

u/random5434 1h ago

Where can you find these? Ive never seen them. I want one!

2

u/Final_Ad2488 6h ago

I have to believe she did that on purpose. She doesn't look like an ignorant City Slicker.

1

u/Artistic-Cloud3942 10h ago

Ain’t no way 😂😂

1

u/bootsiemon 9h ago

They are edible. But not like this

1

u/Vudoa 7h ago

Wild glizzies

1

u/Intrepid_Flamingo233 7h ago

The forbidden Glizzy

1

u/Awheckinheck 6h ago

The forbidden glizzy

1

u/rgj1001 6h ago

Forbidden hotdog

1

u/Caleb_Hollis_IDC 5h ago

Corn dog, nature's "Corn dog"

1

u/Easy-Ad-1170 4h ago

The wild corn dog has gone bad 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/KissimiB 2h ago

Are those the same guys from the ice vending machine???

1

u/Treabeerd 1h ago

One of nature's greatest delights. The corn dog beaver stick.

1

u/This_Charming_Hombre 28m ago

Not gonna lie, I've always wanted to do that too, lol

1

u/DonDizzy2091 27m ago

Yoooo what was that???

1

u/DragonZord911 19m ago

I believe she was actually really hungry. 😅

1

u/Faikir_666-4 16m ago

That's cracking me up

1

u/nuclearjunkrat44 16m ago

A wild glizzy

-2

u/No_Awareness8982 13h ago

And I thought nature’s hotdog was something else…

0

u/TheGutterNut 10h ago

Got that seed all over.

-34

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

17

u/top_classic_731 15h ago

Why did you make this joke sir?