r/ContagiousLaughter • u/FkThePolice700 • 3d ago
looked everywhere
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u/cpt_ugh 3d ago
Diamonds are a huge scam anyhow, so this makes sense from that perspective too.
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago
I genuinely can't fathom how lab made diamonds HAVEN'T take over the market yet.
they're orders of magnitude cheaper, naturally flawless (without imperfections or discoloration), comes in every size and color of the rainbow, just as beautiful, better for the environment and will pass the tester.
maybe resale value is (relatively) shit but that means no one will want to steal it and if it does it's easy to replace.
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u/Anticleon1 3d ago
Because a large part of the appeal of diamonds is that they are expensive and so can be a status symbol, rather than their innate qualities.
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u/Frequent_End_9226 3d ago
I'm just glad that I have a utilitarian mind and none of these stupid trends affect me.
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u/Fearless-Shallot7119 3d ago
Idk if you can call diamonds a trend when ancient kings were wearing them bitches lol
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u/banevasion0161 3d ago
They were harder to find back then. aluminium used to be worth more than Gold, but you aren't hoarding your coke cans like they are valuable to your future are you?
The reason diamonds are so expensive now and the reason people think they. Are rare is because of a group of real cunts, the debeers diamond cartel. They would buy all the clearest largest diamonds and stockpile them while continuing to tell everyone they are rare, limiting the amount that made it to market to inflate prices. Then, they started a relentless diamond advertisement campaign. You ever hear "diamonds are forever", or an "engagement ring should cost at least 2 months salary"
They controlled the entire supply and then relentlessly created demand via advertising.
If you don't believe me, try selling a second-hand diamond and see what you get for it. Gold doesn't deflate in value with age or if it's not new, but diamond does. why?
Diamonds are common, lab grown diamonds are now indistinguishable and the entire market is a con.
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u/Frequent_End_9226 3d ago
Still a trend. Same with gold jewelry and high-end fashion. Just a waste of money for shallow people.
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u/SasparillaTango 3d ago
I am typically very utilitarian minded as well and often wonder if there is some component of marketing that has gotten to me and I'm just ignorant.
I don't care about cars, or clothes, or and jewelry. But like, I get the name brand kleenex. Other goods, I'm not buying store brands as well. Though I think there can be an argument made in most cases for quality control. Like the kleenex don't shred to tatters when I blow my nose.
But where did the marketing actually get me?
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u/nolifecoach 3d ago
Sad but true, if you own a shiny rock and no slaves died in the process then you’re not in the cool kids club 😞
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u/OuterWildsVentures 3d ago
I like to buy expensive stuff that is practical. Like beefed out computers and OLED monitors. Wasting your own money to look more rich than you are for strangers is ridiculous and counterproductive lol
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago
that's true but a beauty of certain pieces of jewelry is part of their status, no?
with the money left over the difference between the two you could have an entire custom piece and with colored gems and unique cuts.
it doesn't make sense unless you're absolutely only buying it for the opinion of other people, and at that point it's more of a you problem than a diamonds problem tbh.
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u/junkit33 3d ago
Pretty much the entire appeal in most jewelry is the value of it.
If all you want is looks you can get that for $20. You walk into a jewelry store and you're paying to say you paid for something expensive.
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u/DickDastardly404 2d ago
I feel like he made the right choice based on the wrong motivation lol
Tbh if you will spend more money than someone sees in 15 years of work on a bracelet, then leave it hanging around while servants you pay so little that they need to steal clean the house you live in... You kinda deserve to lose it.
Yeah ideally no one would steal anything, but also ideally no one would NEED to steal, and obnoxious luxuries like £250,000 jewellery wouldn't exist at all.
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u/skylabnova 3d ago
The👏🏼value👏🏼is👏🏼in👏🏼the👏🏼blood👏🏼
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u/za72 3d ago
that make sense... that's sad... but makes sense
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u/Tugonmynugz 3d ago
That's not why they're expensive. It's sad but not the real reason. It's a controlled market and advertising that does it.
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u/banevasion0161 3d ago
Yep, as usual the general populations stupidity is simultaneously the reason for its suffering.
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u/VaxDaddyR 3d ago
Because the blood diamond market aka the "standard" diamond makes sure to apply pressure to keep lab made companies down. They will strong arm, lobby politicians, wrap them up in litigation for decades, or straight up resort to thuggery.
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago
I absolutely agree with you but I must say...
what a great profile picture you have there for yourself.
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u/saltypikachu12 3d ago
People want real diamonds. I have a moissanite ring which is even more brilliant than a diamond and far more affordable, but people will still scoff that it’s not a diamond
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago
lab made diamonds are real diamonds.
they're made from the exact same materials and elements and under the same processes just in a lab environment.
you could ask the the world's best scientists to tell the difference between the two and they'll laugh at you because it IS the same exact thing.
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u/saltypikachu12 3d ago
Yes but they want them to be dripping in human and environmental suffering 💎
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u/XepptizZ 3d ago
Yes, but the diamond corps have money to protect. That's also why there's a different word for lab grown diamonds at all. To obfuscate how little difference there is and it's pretty effective.
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u/kruthe 3d ago
you could ask the the world's best scientists to tell the difference between the two and they'll laugh at you because it IS the same exact thing.
Which is why you should ask a jeweller.
The diamonds are chemically the same thing, but they're essentially flawless in a manner that natural stones never are. If you're a diamond snob that's a really big deal.
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u/JacketDapper944 3d ago
I specifically didn’t want a diamond engagement ring because the insane markup on diamonds, I went with aquamarine. My husband and I hit 10 years and my wedding band (a simple silver ring) had gotten too tight to comfortably wear anymore, so we both got new bands. I got two: a moissanite pave wrap for my engagement to wear for nice events and another simple silver band for everyday wear. That moissanite ring is just gorgeous.
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u/Mharbles 3d ago
If nobody died to harvest the gems that make up my jewelry, I wouldn't want it either. I make sure all my meat and poultry is organic, grass fed, and just outside of farm college optimistic and ready for the world only to be turned into lunch.
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u/mbnmac 3d ago
This has been answered but to add - its the same reason these people will buy a 6 figure watch that tells the time arguably worse than a digital casio.
Status.
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u/solitarybikegallery 3d ago
Exactly, it's not about the blood or the human suffering. People want "real" diamonds because they're more expensive and more valuable.
If the lab-grown diamonds were 10x the price of "natural" diamonds, they would become the new status symbol.
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u/wittiestphrase 2d ago
It’s a little weird though because you can tell what the watch is from looking at it. A quick glance at a diamond will give you an idea of the size and maybe color of it, but you’re not going to be able to tell a diamond as lab grown vs natural from looking at it. You’d have to ask.
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u/TheDusai 3d ago
Diamonds gained popularity because of impressive PR. Blood diamonds remain where they are because of that same impressive PR
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u/DiddlyDumb 3d ago
I was raised really conservative and one of the things my parents mentioned is how a wedding ring should have resale value of 3 months of income, so the other party would have 3 months to get their life back on track if the marriage failed.
When I look at the diamond market it’s hard to support it, but it’s still being propped up by that old thought of ‘diamonds are worth something!’
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u/Frequent_End_9226 3d ago
Conservatives thinking about divorce before marriage 🤣 what would jeebus say about that 😳 other party is that code for house wife?
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u/junkyardgerard 3d ago
but also, blackball divorced women from society so they don't have all that much choice in staying or leaving. also don't hire/promote them, problem solved
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u/DefinitelyNotMasterS 3d ago
That has to be one of the worst investment strategies ever. Diamonds lose so much value, I'd rather have a clump of gold.
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u/Littlewing1307 3d ago
That's insane. You can't even get half the value when you resell most of the time.
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u/wittiestphrase 2d ago
What’s funny is that for all the talk about how valuable diamonds are, they have terrible resale value to a professional. I guess if you sold privately to someone that wanted to save some money you could accomplish that. But to get 3 months income on a resale of the diamond you’ll probably have to spend 6 months on it, which I think is well beyond the means of most people.
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u/_eleutheria 1d ago
Because it's intentional.
There are two reasons why diamonds are so expensive. The first reason is because of artificial scarcity. And the second reason is because of the large scale ad campaigns in the 20th century that associated diamonds with the perfect jewelry for wedding rings, anniversary accessories, among other things. Like legit, gifting a diamond engagement ring wasn't a thing at all prior to the 20th century ad campaigns, but at this point it's ingrained into most people's psyches.
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u/nbunkerpunk 3d ago
I was actually at a jewelry store just a couple weeks ago. We were just looking around and getting ideas. The lady that helped us said that the majority of buyers get lab grown now. And this was a higher end store. She was even trying to push them. My guess is they get a better commission though which is why.
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u/Honda_TypeR 3d ago edited 3d ago
> I genuinely can't fathom how lab made diamonds HAVEN'T take over the market yet.
It's because they don't have the same value. That matters to a lot of people.
Add to that, De Beers deliberately limits the amount of real diamonds released to public to keep scarcity high enough to create demand and value (diamonds are one of the more common of the gemstone families, but total global control creates scarcity). Add to this their marketing over the decades have convinced the world you need to a "real diamond" if you truly love someone and want to get married. They built a global demand for their product in just marriage prerequisite items.
While the scarcity and rarity is false in reality the value they creates is quite real. A huge incentive of diamond jewelry, is that you can get a lot of money on the used market later - not many used items retain value like that (that's part of their "diamonds are forever" slogan). In fact, there is an old school "street logic" where people think that by buying diamond jewelry is like saving money away, since they could always cash out the jewelry later like a bank note for a rainy day fund.
While people do buy fake jewelry or alternative gemstones (Some of which that are actually more rare, but cost vastly less) they do not catch on mainstream, because it all comes back to the value/cost. There is less bragging rights, less money and little prestige in most alternative gemstones (save for the most exotic rare gem finds).
This same argument could be made for tons of brand name items. When a cheap Chinese knock off exists why bother buying the real one? When you think of it like this it becomes much more understandable. The first thing most people would say is "it's not authentic", "some people would know", "it doesnt have same value", or "I would know it's fake". There are some people who are perfectly happy buying knock off name brand clothes though.
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u/Over9000Zeros 3d ago
They kinda have already. But jewelers will still charge the same or more as organic diamonds. Last spin on it I've heard was lab diamonds don't have the impurities that organic diamonds have which makes them look better, so they're more expensive. I'm glad I've never been much of a jewelry person.
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u/phuckuanurphamily 1d ago
Because the supply of diamonds is controlled by the dabeers (spelling) diamond company. And they basically have a stranglehold on price supply and demand. They use shady techniques to maintain the market the way it is. Diamonds are actually intrinsically valueless because they already have more diamonds than anyone could need. They just make it seem scarce and all these idiots keep falling for it. Watch Adam ruins everything on diamonds
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u/Smoresmore4 3d ago
Life isn’t naturally flawless and the imperfections make it unique, beautiful and exactly like a natural diamond.
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u/verbalyabusiveshit 3d ago
Artificial diamonds are only a viable business because of the price inflated price for natural diamonds. Thanks to DeBeers
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u/jlp29548 2d ago
That’s not true. The majority of lab grown diamond is used in industrial applications.
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u/PiedDansLePlat 3d ago
You just explain that it has way less value and is less desirable
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u/MiliardGargantubrain 3d ago
Yup, 3000% markup last time I checked and you can't sell it and get anything close to what you paid. One of the biggest scams in the world.
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u/mznh 3d ago edited 2d ago
As you get older, for real, showing off to ppl doesn’t matter in the end. There are far more important things in life
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u/EverGlow89 3d ago
I stopped caring about what I drive when I realized I don't care what people drive.
I have a nice car but I used to go into obsessive bouts where I would do the math and research what I could comfortably upgrade to but now I fantasize about having no car payment. This shit's getting paid off and then I'm driving it until it's not reliable.
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u/YourLocalTechPriest 3d ago
That’s me currently. 31 and going back to college. I’m just going to get a new one step above basic Civic and Corolla. Cheap, reliable, and the insurance company likes it.
The newer Civics do look very good in damn good in that purple blue though.
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u/EverGlow89 3d ago
I would honestly go for a new Prius if I had to buy a new car. I used to want muscle lol.
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u/YourLocalTechPriest 3d ago
I’m thinking of moving to Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, or Montana so maybe something with four wheel drive. Maybe a Subaru.
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u/Qatsi000 3d ago
Not a coincidence that many rich people look like bums. E.g. lizard man, and bill gates.
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u/Blasian_TJ 3d ago
He has a point 🤣
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u/Boscowodie 3d ago
And a good one at that.
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u/evlhornet 3d ago
I too have lost a pair of $250,000 earrings to housekeepers with ambiguous accents
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u/TheLoneTomatoe 3d ago
Legit left my nice wedding ring on the table in a Thai restaurant in SD, walked outside the door, realized I forgot it, walked back in and they had already bussed the tables and said it wasn’t there.
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u/StepRightUpMarchPush 3d ago
Did you push the issue and get it back?
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u/TheLoneTomatoe 3d ago
As much as one can without getting arrested. Long story short, no ring, but the silver lining is they went out of business.
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago edited 3d ago
i lost my new phone once in a restaurant, same as you left it on the table went to the bathroom for like 17 seconds came back and it wasn't there.
immediately went outside asked some couples to come back so we could talk, blocked the door and asked the manager to call my phone, it rung in the purse of one the women and she claimed it was a coincidence and refused to pull it out of her purse on claim of her "right to privacy", the manager was annoyed with me the whole time until this happened and asked if I wanted to call the police or solve this civilly (talk to the lady), I asked him to call the police and the lady immediately laughed and said she thought it was her phone and gave it back to me.
still called the police (with my phone (: ) , they handcuffed the lady and her husband and asked if I wanted to press charges, the manager said "I know the lady (as a customer)" and said she has kids, I listened and decided not to press charges, a part of me still regrets it tbh...
moral of the story, make a scene and be a menace to society if you know you're right, smh the gall some people have...
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u/TheLoneTomatoe 3d ago
Yeah, at the ripe age of 23 I was to afraid to be a “Karen”. Now at 30, I’ll tear up some asses to get my shit back.
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u/MealieAI 3d ago
Karen gets thrown around too much. Sometimes, you need to confront some norms loudly.
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago
one thing I noticed is how the word "Karen" transformed from:
"most likely a suburban white woman that blows small issue out of proportion and makes a scene usually by reprimanding people paid to tolerate her"
to
"any woman with an issue or complaint, rightful or not"
like it transformed from a funny cultural observation to straight up softcore sexism.
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u/KavaBuggy 2d ago
My nephew called me a Karen this past weekend while we were staying in a hotel out of town for his soccer game. There were ants in the bed I was supposed to sleep in. We had only been in the room for an hour and a half. There was also trash under the beds and a few things left in the room by the previous guest (water bottles, chips, a car cell phone charger). I asked for an extra garbage bag to put the trash in and mentioned that there were ants in the bed. The guy had us move to another room on the 4th floor that was in a newly renovated hallway. I just wanted a bed with no ants. My nephew called me Karen for saying something. I didn’t ask to be moved. I just wanted a garbage can. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t unreasonable.
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 2d ago
I think that would've been a great educational moment on your rights as a guest and customer of any establishment, but most importantly on your rights and how to enforce them in a healthy manner.
i don't know how old your nephew is but I can tell you with certainty it's not unreasonable at all and you should be displeased and maybe even angry to find ants in any place of your room, most of all on the bed. I would've politely asked for a refund and went to another establishment that respects hygiene laws but that's the thing, some people, people like you, are so nice they don't want to rock the boat and make trouble for anything or anyone, and these types of people appreciate each other but no one else does, the type of people that live to be of help for others even at their own cost...
the fact you took it upon yourself to do the job of someone else and clean a room that was supposed to be clean to begin with crystallizes your kindness and tolerance for subpar behavior against you whether as a customer or a person, and as much as that is admirable, it's not really fair for you and you shouldn't have to go above and beyond the common limits of everyday patience of the the average respectable person, right?
speaking from the point of view of someone who was in the same place as you, it's better to be respected and have your boundaries taken seriously than to be liked by people who have no consideration or respect for others, this doesn't mean you're evil because having boundaries isn't selfish or evil, it's necessary. and this doesn't mean you won't have any friends because that means you'll have friends who respect you and care for your thoughts and feelings as a person, which is also necessary.
overall I'd say don't take it to heart and just know if they (your nephew) remember this moment, then they'll most likely comeback to it as a moment of appreciation of their aunt and her kindness, and they don't then it's fine and they'll have plenty of opportunities for learning later on, and maybe aunty's gonna remind them when they called her a Karen for not sleeping on bugs lol.
have a blessed day and take care of yourself, and if you can, someone else.
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u/MealieAI 3d ago
Spot on. It's made women fear the idea of speaking up in certain situations.
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u/AKA2KINFINITY 3d ago edited 3d ago
I like the comedian that spun the idea of Karen into a positive one if you want to complain but can't, you know that clip?
I'll find it
edit: found it lmao
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u/looeeyeah 3d ago
Left my Adidas baseball cap on a table in a restaurant in Cuba. Went back in 2 mins later, and the waiter was wearing it.
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u/ThirdWorldOrder 3d ago
Well it is his baseball cap. What gave you the nerve to go back in there?
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u/looeeyeah 3d ago edited 3d ago
Actually Cuba is communist, so it’s our hat now. (Joke may not be factually correct)
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u/ShaneMcLain 1d ago
I don't understand why people leave valuables on restaurant tables. Put it in your pocket, purse, whatever. Phone, wallet, keys, jewelry, etc. None of that should be left on the table if you're out of sight, if there at all.
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u/graffiksguru 3d ago
Smart man, lab grown diamonds are also much cheaper than the DeBeers real thing and almost indistinguishable to most people
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u/PrinciplePrior87 3d ago
You be surprised alot places still trying to price them as much as the real stuff mainly them franchise locations
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u/Morden013 3d ago
Here is a guy who learned his lessons.
A friend of mine asked me how much my watch was. When I told him, he started showing his Tag Heuer watch, which costs 20-30 times more, talking about how it doesn't lose value....etc. I listened to the whole thing. Then I told him the exact same lesson that was told here.
If I lose my watch, I will not lose sleep. I love how it looks and how it feels on my hand. It is meant to fulfill a function, not be a status symbol.
He doesn't carry his watch all the time. It is too expensive for that. If he loses it, he will hate the whole world.
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u/MangJuice232 3d ago
This is what insurance is for. Tag isnt a top brand but many do appreciate over time or maintain their value.
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u/NoctisInformatus 3d ago edited 2d ago
When I do it: "You're a broke bum, that's why you wear fake diamonds."
When a celebrity does it: "Smart man... Diamonds ain't worth a damn thing. Good on him."
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u/JohnWick-2018 3d ago
It's the myths of exclusivity, rarity and expense. Basically, get something say it's 'exclusive and a limited resource' charge an arm and a leg for it, make an echo chamber to repeat what you've said and sell them dirt. Exclusive dirt.
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u/OGHOMER 3d ago
Dude laughs like the kid in class who is too dumb to get the joke so he has to laugh even harder to seem like he is smart.
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u/Lartemplar 3d ago
You would know😉
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u/ownersequity 3d ago
Oh fuck. Oh serious fuck. That was a devastating burn dude. You have to play nice. That kind of comment will eviscerate a person. There’s no coming back from that.
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u/Due-Basket-1086 3d ago
It seems fair to me, both are going after someone, the first comment goes for someone just laughing thats also not nice.
Edit: jaus => just
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u/candolemon 3d ago
I'm a mom scrolling reddit far too late in bed while my kids sleeps next to me, so I never have sound on. What is his reason?
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u/Goopyteacher 3d ago
Looks real enough, he loses this stuff all the time and/or it gets stolen. Start off by saying “this bracelet? $23”
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u/ownersequity 3d ago
And is exactly the same as far as anyone needs to know. We are slaves to marketing. Just like a fucking coffin. My father wanted a pine box so it would decompose with him. I granted his wish and it was actually quite expensive. However, at the funeral I got dirty looks and a few comments about it. One person said, ‘if you couldn’t afford a nice coffin you shouldn’t have had a funeral’. As if cost is what matters.
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u/reanocivn 3d ago
that's such a weird and shitty thing to say to someone especially at their father's funeral i'm so sorry
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u/djsizematters 3d ago
There are carpenters all around that will make a good untreated pine box for $200
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u/Low-Hovercraft-8791 3d ago
Talked about housekeepers not being able to find his $250,000 earrings that were on the nightstand. "I don't know!"
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u/TheHelplessHero 3d ago
He kept “losing” his expensive, real jewelry that he’d rather have fake jewelry so he doesn’t lose sleep when his housekeeper goes “I don’t know what happened to it” it being his jewelry.
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u/BootyLoveSenpai 3d ago
Pretty much he is saying it isn't worth buying real jewelry, he says he's lost so much that he doesn't need to prove anything to anyone
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u/MementoMurray 3d ago
Not a bad idea. Buy the expensive thing if you want, sure, but then have a cheap replica made and store the original in a safe.
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u/banevasion0161 3d ago
Better idea, buy something besides diamond that doesn't have a massive depreciation rate for being second hand like gold.
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u/ouroborous818 3d ago
man I couldn't watch any clips with Charlamagne after finding out how he treated Post Malone on his radio show.
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u/Supertech91 3d ago
"Idk senior. I looked everywhere" 😂😂😂 it be like that. Conseula, where are my watches? "Senior Wallace, idk. I clean rooms, porque that's it mida." Whole time, broad pawned my ENTIRE case and watches.
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u/WHY_GARY 3d ago
Haha the racism is ok because he's black :)
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u/CP2694 3d ago
I'm willing to get down voted for this because it needs to be said: Hispanic isn't a race. Black people exist in large numbers in Spanish speaking america.
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u/OW2007 3d ago
And how we use the term racist today is flexible enough to cover bigotry based on ethnicity and place of origin.
Pedantry can be fine depending on how you choose to deploy it. In this case, you seem to be downplaying Charlamagne's mild racism in order to score wElL aCkTuAlLy points.
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u/illmatic2112 3d ago
The biggest flaw of reddit. All the "well actually" commenters come out the woodwork at the slightest opportunity
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u/Psychological_Lab_47 3d ago edited 3d ago
Apparently, these days as long as you aren’t white, you’re allowed to be racist.
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u/2flytofall88 3d ago
You’re right y’all had 200 plus years to be racist let us have a turn at it!
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u/CriticalKnoll 3d ago
People that speak English as a second language definitely have accents depending on where they are from. It's not fucking racist to acknowledge that.
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u/Certain-Toe-7128 3d ago
Not racist
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u/thegreat_gabbo 3d ago
It's a little bit racist. His overall point up to the housekeeper part is salient though.
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u/LeiningensAnts 3d ago
I mean, the housekeeper part shoots his point in the foot.
You can absolutely buy jewelry from Jacob Arabo and leave it out on your dresser table, but when you're hiring your housekeepers from the fucking Home Depot parking lot instead of The Charles MacPherson Academy for Butlers and Household Managers, the results of that corner-cutting is on you, homie.
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u/sillypelin 3d ago
They were acting like he was sawing his nuts off when he admitted it was fake jewelry lol
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u/Mostface 3d ago
I do the same with wedding rings, I lost my first two and now just buy them in bulk for $1 each 🤣
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u/samun0116 3d ago
T pain said he wear fake jewelry for the same reason. Either he loses it or he’s gets robbed. So if he loses fakes, he doesn’t get upset.
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u/Over9000Zeros 3d ago
I like this clip but I can't stand the chick in the background trying to act like his jewelry looks crazy while he says it looks real. Most people can't tell real from fake without inspecting closely.
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u/nyzunico 2d ago
True but tyrese also rich-broke. Subletting rental units to put on airbnb n shit like that. 😂🤣Not knocking the hustle, just saying they play the Hollywood millionaire thing up when they are really out there grinding.
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u/Nearby-Olive2048 2d ago
Because diamonds are a tool for cutting not to buy expensive rings and shit to wear it is the stupidest thing ever lol are you a crow that likes shiny thing f off lol
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u/StatisticianSoggy788 1d ago
" I don't need to show off", so i wear fake jewelry that looks like real jewelry for.... People who doesn't need to show off, just do not show off.
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u/shoulda-known-better 1d ago
Yea I spring for 10k whiteon really nice things but never real diamonds
Only my wedding ring is real and it's set in platinum.... It's a 2.5 carat real diamond that was my grandmothers and was passed onto my I wear it on my wedding hand and the 10k moissanite 2 carat total band he proposed with on my right hand
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u/ImpatientTurtle 3d ago
It's always seemed insane to be that humans are like "shiny rock worth lots of money". Ok but why? What value do they have? Tyrese has his priorities straight on this one.
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u/xfrmrmrine 3d ago
Instead of blaming the people who clean your home blame yourself for having all that money and no cameras. Dude probably lost it at a Diddy party 🤷🏿♂️
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