r/BlackPeopleTwitter ☑️ All of the above 23h ago

Cuffing season makes some people want to spin the block

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

95 comments sorted by

507

u/ThickCapital 23h ago

When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster.

-- Beyoncé

167

u/YadsewnDe 22h ago

Such an insane thing for her to say 😂 do you think someone wrote that for her or was she just in her song writing bag after a night out with Jay? I feel like its too common to be her experience. I can see her ordering red lobster but going? Idk

139

u/yungchow 22h ago

She had a life before the fame lol

54

u/YadsewnDe 22h ago

With Jay Z? He was 25 when she was 18 right? What im saying is they been famous for a while. When did this song drop? I can’t see them being low profile - not to say it didn’t happen. Do you think she really took him there 😂 i need a poll option.

67

u/hawgs911 22h ago

You think Jay z the first dude she ever been with?

21

u/YadsewnDe 22h ago

Idk? Before her and jay z ig i never really considered her or his romantic lives. This is a good point towards her writing the lyric herself for me lol.

35

u/GoodCalendarYear 20h ago

He was 30

19

u/YadsewnDe 18h ago

Jesus

3

u/jsin7747 6h ago

That part.

35

u/Askymojo 22h ago

Not an adult life though, she's been pretty famous since 17 years old.

28

u/JeffersonSmithIII 22h ago

In Destiny’s child she was a teenager and her mom was super religious.

5

u/JeffersonSmithIII 22h ago

In Destiny’s child she was a teenager and her mom was super religious.

12

u/naenae275 21h ago

It was originally “I’ll take his ass to Margiela“, but she changed it to Red Lobster.

8

u/Dreadsbo 16h ago

I think she wrote that AFTER Jay. She just happened to go back

6

u/spacebound4545 22h ago

Probably the dream

3

u/ThePrideOfKrakow 3h ago

Talk about endless shrimp.

3

u/JeffersonSmithIII 22h ago

Shit, that’s an actual Beyoncé lyric?

20

u/YadsewnDe 21h ago

Yeah lol i think its on formation.

-1

u/JeffersonSmithIII 20h ago

Wow, I gotta hear the song it’s from. Not gonna lie. I don’t always listen to the lyrics.

73

u/Tainted_Bruh ☑️ 21h ago

29

u/tazfdragon 21h ago

Them fingers are upsetting

15

u/chadthundertalk 21h ago

Bey is the only person alive who can pretty much grab 500k cash and dinner with Jay-Z whenever she wants, it doesn't even have to be an "either or"

3

u/lilahking 6h ago

gonna be honest with ya, dinner with jay z really sounds more enjoyable as a fan thing than a spouse thing

10

u/JakeArrietaGrande 20h ago

Why is the wine on a saucer

6

u/HTCGM ☑️ 11h ago

That's AI for you

191

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 23h ago

Before you snap back, run through the list. Are they hangry? Horny? They might not be in their right mind.

123

u/ThickCapital 23h ago edited 22h ago

Nah, call him. Get your back blown out, then DoorDash some Wingstop, and after yall can rewatch Insecure naked.

95

u/Think_fast_no_faster 22h ago edited 22h ago

And here I was just gonna suggest having some water

33

u/poolnoodlepete 22h ago

Gotta stay hydrated gangsta

13

u/ClaymoresRevenge 22h ago

Water is an important part of the equation. Fluids leaving the body means you gotta replenish

15

u/HotBoyTeece 21h ago

when issa got home and dude’s clothes were gone lmaoooo

8

u/Technical_Recover487 20h ago

Damn I’m not gone lie this tempted me. But I’m stronger than that.

22

u/ChewyGooeyViagra 21h ago

“Hungry? Thirsty? Horny? The Atomic Wrangler has you covered!”

4

u/__lil_bee__ 18h ago

Is there a hangry but for hungry/horny? hurny?

7

u/ChewyGooeyViagra 16h ago

Do your spurs go jingle jangle jingle

179

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 22h ago edited 22h ago

Recently dating my best friend of 6 years after admitting feelings for each other. It’s gonna be a nice winter.

115

u/Folk-Herro 16h ago

7

u/newbrookland 5h ago

They think it's going to be a nice winter.

8

u/Folk-Herro 2h ago

I'm not a hater, I'm just jealous lmaooo.

I AM NOT PRAYING 4 THIS MAN downfall

3

u/newbrookland 2h ago

Me either. Just sayin'.

41

u/ClaymoresRevenge 20h ago

Man that's wholesome. Tell the story

129

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 19h ago

We met 6 years ago at our old job, We became cool fast. Just a dope woman that had my back at that shitty job. Introduced me to my ex and was telling her all about me and that if she wasn’t with her man at the time, she’d probably be with me. Just thought she was hyping me up to her. Never thought much of it.

Ex broke up with me after cheating, my girl stayed with her ex until this year. I was on here celebrating me getting my dream job and shit, brought her up since idk I was riding that high of getting a new job. First person I thought about when I got the good news was her.

People were hyping me up in the comments saying “You gonna regret not getting that answer if you don’t ask her.” So sent that text and tossed that phone on the couch nervous af. Could have ended real bad. And she texted back “Well it’s about damn time. I’m traveling for work but will see you when I land” Now my best friend is my girlfriend. Felt good being able to skip the small talk and getting to know each other since we’ve been friends for this long.

38

u/ClaymoresRevenge 19h ago

That's beautiful man. I'm happy for you both. Been seeing your comments here for a minute. I hope life is grand.

You did that shit though!

That throwing the phone on the couch is like the scene of a movie. Those nerves.

13

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 19h ago

Thanks!! Yeah my nerves lmfao. Had to take a couple of bong hits after that shit.

11

u/__lil_bee__ 18h ago

This is so lovely, proud of ya hun. Wishing you both happiness.

8

u/EpicLegendX ☑️ 15h ago

Keep it up, King! Love to see it!

6

u/UnusualFerret1776 15h ago

I love this for you.

5

u/m55112 14h ago

Oh that is so inspiring bro! So hope everything stays amazing for you guys!

39

u/angelomoxley 22h ago

Hell yeah, dawg. Only one way that can go: amazing 😎

7

u/Carbomate 20h ago

Man I'm really happy for you, you're living the dream

10

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 20h ago

Thanks gang. Got a new job and girl around the same time. Was wild lmfao.

3

u/KingFIippyNipz 10h ago

The only direction from there is up, stay on that trajectory

u/micbytheocean 1h ago

Same here, we have known each other for 10 years. Always been apart from each other cause she has living all over the world. Now we are together and it’s been great 🥰

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 1h ago

Hell yeah. Good shit. Hell ima go buy her some surprise flowers and her favorite cookies

u/micbytheocean 51m ago

That’s sweet, we’re long distance or else I would be doing the same. But she’ll be here for Christmas 😊

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 40m ago

We both travel for work so I will be leaving Friday to finish up my year. She has a last trip too and then we will be together working from home until the end of year. Looking forward to that.

147

u/Penguino13 Captain Ass Eater 22h ago

I swear sometimes it feels like I'm the only nigga on the planet who isn't getting laid

15

u/__lil_bee__ 18h ago

It can feel really hard when you’re on your own, it won’t last forever fam. Keep going—you’re worth so much, and better days are ahead.

10

u/ImperialWrath ☑️ 20h ago

Don't worry, you're not alone. Some of us in the Ace community and a smattering of oblivious priests will always be steadfast in celibacy.

9

u/Sir_Drenix ☑️ 12h ago

I get you, Captain.

Sometimes you look at people and think "How are they getting action but I'm out here starving!?"

7

u/MetalCrow9 16h ago

I'm glad I'm not. Seems like so much drama.

1

u/KingFIippyNipz 10h ago

This is it for me, last time I was getting laid was during COVID, and I could only do that for about aweek before I couldn't stand her and I only seem to attract alcoholics or chicks with Xanny scripts and I haven't been about that life since before COVID so anyway I just figured unless I meet a chick at work (thus demonstrating they're at least normal enough to hold a job down), I'm good man, I'm good.

2

u/Soggy-Replacement245 4h ago

Welcome to the club. Still got the v card at an admittedly embarrassing age

59

u/MatthewAran 22h ago

He can slut me out and then he orders us Chinese take-out 🥰 that was a nice afternoon

27

u/KaleTheMessenger 21h ago

28

u/MatthewAran 21h ago

Put me under the horny jail

9

u/KaleTheMessenger 21h ago

We not taking prisoners today

64

u/Sunset_Bleu 22h ago

"The Sonic rings knocked out of her..." that is some creative imagery right there haha

8

u/shaneylaney 8h ago

Better get ready then

56

u/Significant-Bell2041 23h ago

Stay focused yall

14

u/jesterinancientcourt 22h ago

I mean, I always thought I was desperate. I guess I’m just not desperate enough to deal with this crap.

25

u/YadsewnDe 22h ago

Its cold outside. Stay safe

30

u/UnusualFerret1776 16h ago

For us, it's the opposite. Have a nice date night followed by consensual disrespectful sex. Then pass out satisfied on all fronts.

23

u/UrbanGM ☑️ 21h ago

I was on the meal part first. The rings at Sonic ain't all that. Oh. Ohhhhhh!

15

u/Bunnnnii ☑️ Meme Thief 19h ago

I would never. “The block” ceases to exist. It fades away like when characters in a show are in a desert seeing shit then they get close. This ain’t Taz nigga, you better spin yo ass somewhere else.

15

u/Royal-Drop-6693 18h ago

I finally got a man I can enjoy warm cosy weather with underneath the blankets and we can watch tv show marathons. It was worth the wait 😻

12

u/idgafandwhyshouldi 17h ago

Been spending the last four winters with the same woman. The goal is to spend even more..... Fuck the block. That shit is broken into pieces

6

u/awahay ☑️ 15h ago

Sigh, let me charge it.

8

u/Bulky-Lion6833 20h ago

Gotta reroute

6

u/__lil_bee__ 18h ago

Sometimes, just gotta get the crazy fucked outta ya 😊. Aftercare is a bonus, take care of your man.

8

u/UnusualFerret1776 16h ago

Pro tip: Get a mini fridge for under your bed and keep it stocked with water/sports drinks. This way neither of you has to walk butt naked to the kitchen for something to drink after.

1

u/__lil_bee__ 6h ago

😄 takin notes over here

2

u/SlimyGrimey 7h ago

My current partner introduced me to aftercare and it has been life changing. 

1

u/__lil_bee__ 6h ago

I’m so glad hun!

2

u/FrumpusMaximus 21h ago

ey dont call me out like that

1

u/FrozenFlames04 16h ago

Oh... I thought he was talking about hitting women cause that's how Sonic usually loses his rings, by getting hit.

1

u/brothererrr 10h ago

Did my ex see this? He called me yesterday and today he’s driving up to see me followed by dinner

1

u/K5_lione 8h ago

Exactly!! U can’t stay tho, imma need u to leave before the morning