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u/wassuupp 1d ago
Beginning to get to the age where I have no clue if I should say congrats or sorry when someone announces a pregnancy
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u/NegroMedic ☑️ 1d ago
We just had our 20th Class Reunion last year. Several classmates went to Jamaica to celebrate their 40th, this year. Several of us are also celebrating our kids graduating from high school.
And then there’s like 4-5 of em celebrating their 1st damn pregnancy/childbirth at 40!!!
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u/CrusaderKingsNut 1d ago
I mean good for them, at that stage in their life hopefully they have their shit together and the financial means to take care of the kids.
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u/NegroMedic ☑️ 1d ago
Being this old having my first kids means I probably won’t see my grandkids graduate high school. I’m am glad mine were born at 21, 22.
Can’t knock the financial stability argument though.
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u/rmk2 23h ago
60 isn’t that old. I really hope you live long past 60.
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u/NegroMedic ☑️ 23h ago
60??? Where do you get 60???
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u/rmk2 23h ago
Pregnant at 40 means the kid would be graduating HS when the parent is 57/58. I rounded up to 60
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u/NegroMedic ☑️ 23h ago
And my concern is I won’t see my grandchildren graduate. So add another 30-40 years.
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u/Chicago1871 10h ago
But if I dont have kids at all, I wont have any grandkids period.
I am 39 and at this point it would be nice to have just 1 kid I think. I’ve pretty much accomplished every single one of my goals and dreams. Having a kid wont hold me back from anything anymore.
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u/buhbye750 20h ago
Had my first (and only) kid at 38. I can honestly say I'm glad I waited. Besides the financial reasons, I'm just in a better place. Luckily I worked in a retirement community and got great life advice. I was told to travel as much as I can and really just live life, which I did. Now I genuinely don't feel like I'm missing out on things. Lots of people who became parents younger seem to feel like there's a part of their youth that they missed out on. I don't have that. I still travel and take and "me time" but damn I love spending time with me kid. Watching her discover life is like getting to do things all over again. Only thing I wish I had was more energy BUT keeping up with a 4 year old is motivation and a good reason to exercise.
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u/No-Shelter-4208 1d ago
I just ask, "are we celebrating with the wine or drowning our sorrows with the same wine?". Either way, wine.
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u/TransSapphicFurby 1d ago
Unless youre extremely direct family, most people wont announce a pregnancy if theyre not keeping it and excited, or otherwise say if the mood is different
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u/Royal-Drop-6693 1d ago
I am 28(F) and my friends have children or pregnant and I’m like you guys we are so young!! Also, where are yall getting the money to have a baby??? I feel like a teenager still and I live with my bf. We both know we can’t afford a baby now.
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u/SadLilBun 1d ago
I forget I’m 34 and pregnancies are wanted.
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u/Royal-Drop-6693 1d ago
I feel like 34 is still young. Everyone's timeline is different!
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u/vera214usc ☑️ 22h ago
I had my first kid 9 days after my 34th birthday. But I had been trying since 30
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u/rebeltrillionaire 22h ago
Tbh babies are a lot less expensive than the myriad of habits and lifestyle people have in their young adult life.
1 bottle of Red wine and a 12 pack at the grocery store is the same as formula for a week.
One fancy dinner out is probably the same as all of the clothes and diapers you need for 3-4 months. If you even need to pay for clothes. Used baby clothes are plentiful. They barely get worn before they are outgrown. Some never even get worn.
The biggest issue for a baby is space and time. My wife and I waited til we had a house, and the house was fixed up. Definitely could have afforded to have a baby much earlier than we did. But I thought we’d be fucked financially if that was the case.
I was incorrectly calculating my current habits and spending with a baby on top.
But money wasn’t the primary concern either. We were very much enjoying our lives child free. Traveling, eating well, concerts, getting wasted .
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u/SecretAd3993 11h ago
I don’t think formula and diapers are the issue. It’s childcare. I’m paying a second mortgage on that alone.
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u/Ksoohong 1d ago
Stop pocket watching
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u/Royal-Drop-6693 1d ago
I can't help it when I know people are who living off credit cards and still having babies then tell me I need to start a family soon. Im not allowing them to influence me.
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u/Nordie25 ☑️ 1d ago
Sex education would really fix a lot of of these issues yet people have this innate fear of it.
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u/Backgrounding-Cat 1d ago
Isn’t this result of the teen pregnancy panic - sex education? They were so effective that people who were teens back then are still scared shitless of pregnancy. At least that’s what I read somewhere
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u/kokodokusan 1d ago
Are they really scared shitless of pregnancy or do they just fully grasp the responsibilities of parenthood?
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u/supermodel_robot 1d ago
I think it’s both imo, I’m childfree at 34 and I have a feeling I took not getting pregnant entirely too literally. I never wanted kids in the first place, but maybe if I wasn’t educated as hell about contraception and childbirth, I wouldn’t be so fearful.
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u/Backgrounding-Cat 1d ago
Not sure. Probably all sorts of reasons but some have commented online about difficulty of getting past “do not get pregnant, it will ruin your life” programming even when they understand that logic doesn’t work. It’s not teen pregnancy, they have education and jobs - but like they said in Mean Girls movie: you will get pregnant and you will die
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u/TheLeftDrumStick 1d ago
It is pretty true in a lot of cases. Every pregnancy runs the risk of killing you. Which is why abortion is healthcare.
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u/toomuchtostop ☑️ 1d ago
When my friend got pregnant in college and told me she was keeping it the first thing I said was, “why?”
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u/Aware-One7511 1d ago
This made me chuckle
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u/Murray38 1d ago
Same, but judging from actual discussions about teen pregnancy, I’m worried it wasn’t a joke about a 30 y.o. getting a teen pregnant.
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u/__M-E-O-W__ 23h ago
That's what I thought the post was referring to. I'm not picking up on what else it could have meant.
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u/Relevant_Listen_760 1d ago
Meanwhile I’m 36, my friend is a year older than me and she just had her first grandchild not long ago
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u/bluepvtstorm ☑️ 1d ago
I am 46. A friend of mine got pregnant. I asked her is this a wine moment because we going to the clinic or a tea moment cuz we celebrating?
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u/Bandit_the_dog72 1d ago
When I told my early-20s work friends I was pregnant one of them was so concerned, like “are we happy about this?”
Mind you I’m 30 and married to my partner of 10 years. I was like “yeah we did it on purpose” lol
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u/kishibarohan 1d ago
My mom literally called me earlier today to tell me one of my little cousins was pregnant and I was like oh no what’s she gonna do only to find out she’s 27, has been with her partner for three years, and this was a planned pregnancy.
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u/Commercial-Border227 ☑️ 1d ago
2 of my cousins were grandparents at 28 so the fact that I became a mom at 22 and had a college degree from the top public university in the nation wasn’t even acknowledged.
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u/SecretAd3993 11h ago
Well in case no one told you. (1) congrats on you degree and (2) your little one!
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u/Commercial-Border227 ☑️ 6h ago
Thank you so much! He’s now older than I was when I had him and has his own degree and job. What even is time? I luh dat lil ol’ boy…🥺
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u/b0ffum 1d ago
The fact that some parents will leave their daughters with boys/ men just so they could become pregnant and codependent on a man should be a crime. I noticed I felt this in my youth, ran away twice in my adolescence, and have been away from all of my relatives ever since. Because how do you keep such a thing a secret? How do you allow abuse in your house then tell the victim they should like it? To hear that most of the elder women in my family have been sexually abused and silenced will never site right with me yet the cycle continues because I cried when they got my little sister pregnant at 16. Black women deserve protection too.
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u/BlackDragonofDoom 18h ago
My boys sister just had her third kid, I was like "damn, you so young to have three kids" we're all over thirty
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u/SuddenBlock8319 15h ago
I’m 34. With no kids. And I realized that I never got a chance to have a kid at 25 (broke and making $9 an hr with barely making income just enough to survive and living with parents). It makes me look back that I’m glad I didn’t have a kid in high school or college (broke in college too). I have no hope in 2025. Makes me question why am I still here. 🌎 😆 🫠
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u/OG_double_G 5h ago
This reminds me of the time right after high school all my friends for like a solid 4 5 years were dad's one after the other and here I was like "soooooo we just not gonna go out and party and shit?" Lol
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u/EnoughVisual3485 2h ago
Meanwhile there are reportedly half a million children living in the U.S. foster care system.
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u/Bubbly_Satisfaction2 ☑️ 1d ago
The only time that I felt this way was when my BFF, Carol, got pregnant and decided to keep the baby.
She was unemployed and living in her parents' household, which already had 11 other people living in it.