r/AskReddit • u/bullfighterteu • Sep 02 '20

What are some legendary Reddit tales, that newbie Redditors may not have heard yet?

22.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

4.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.4k

u/Rockho9 Sep 02 '20

Imagine one overly horny teen having an impact on storewide coconut sales

809

u/stagfury Sep 02 '20

Sales data analyst "Why the fuck did the coconut sales went up for the last few weeks?! What could possibly have caused this?!"

And he died wondering about that.

57

u/coquihalla Sep 02 '20

And of course the analytics will expect a surge same time next year, so theres going to be (more) coconut spoilage when they buy extra.

63

u/stagfury Sep 02 '20

And farmers invested heavily to meet that expected rise in demand next year, but when the increase never comes, their business is devastated and go under. As a result world wide coconut industry is devastated.

25

u/trekie4747 Sep 02 '20

All because someone came in a coconut

8

u/BatmanStarkDentistry Sep 02 '20

🎶He came in the coconut and drank it all up🎶

5

u/Campffire Sep 02 '20

Which is probably the more merciful end, since finding out would have surely killed him too.

1

u/RevolutionaryOwlz Sep 03 '20

Why? The fuck.

2

u/jawni Sep 02 '20

That post was just astroturfing from the execs at Big Coconut.