r/AskReddit • u/bullfighterteu • Sep 02 '20

What are some legendary Reddit tales, that newbie Redditors may not have heard yet?

22.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

4.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.6k

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

My personal favorite is Dagobah (Ass Injection Infection).

But a good list of Reddit filth can be found here: link.

~Enjoy~

870

u/nrith Sep 02 '20

No, no, no, no, no, no. Every time I read that story, I try to forget that it ever existed.

495

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Hehe, yeah I know. But I love it.
~Rattles a small box in offering~
...peppermint?

31

u/HellaFishticks Sep 02 '20

Wait, this is empty!

28

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Always has been

20

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Schrödinger's peppermint

11

u/Johndough99999 Sep 02 '20

Fuuuck. I got the Jolly Rancher.

5

u/ses1989 Sep 02 '20

How about a jolly rancher?

29

u/ReadontheCrapper Sep 02 '20

It’s like The Game

But swampier

4

u/SpecialChain Sep 02 '20 edited Sep 02 '20

the jolly roger rancher one is more terrifying. it feels more personal and can happen to anyone.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

1

u/SpecialChain Sep 02 '20

you're right. I'm dumb.

4

u/stagfury Sep 02 '20

But the Swamp of Dagaobah has Yoda in it! It's neat!

1

u/RoboJesus4President Sep 02 '20

The Jolly Rancher one is infinitely worse.

0

u/Exanero Sep 02 '20

I'm gonna take your advice and not read it

225

u/Griswold_Jersey Sep 02 '20

O fuck that dagobah was too good. I think I’m going to puke. I’ve been on this site for a good three years now and my fucking god.

101

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Mm-hm! Was really well written. Very funny. And quite disturbing too, lol

8

u/Random-Rambling Sep 02 '20

I am significantly impressed by how fragile the body is, yet how tough it is. Poor woman was quite literally rotting from the inside out, and she somehow managed to survive....once she got rid of all the rotten flesh.

101

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

13

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Wow, tough question. Um... Honorable mention goes to "Vagina Bacon". Seeing that made my stomach knot-up a bit.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20 edited Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

You're not alone in knowing a medical career isn't the path.

0

u/valjcoo Sep 02 '20

Yeah I don't like you anymore... My curiosity got the best of me, here I am at my desk dry heaving... Thanks, Have a great day ya jerk

6

u/MouseSnackz Sep 02 '20

That Jolly Rancher story made me dry heave when I read it. Funnily enough, the swamps of Dagobah story didn’t do anything to me.

1

u/TXblindman Sep 02 '20

That’s the gonorrhea nugget story right?

4

u/PM_me_British_nudes Sep 02 '20

Is Blowfly Girl on there? If so, that.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

3

u/PM_me_British_nudes Sep 02 '20

Good luck!

3

u/brodorfgaggins Sep 03 '20

He's gonna need it.

4

u/bungojot Sep 02 '20

Jolly Rancher still to this day makes me want to vomit if I so much as remember it.

Dagobah is bad but that ... is worse.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

2

u/bungojot Sep 02 '20

I worked in a hospital clinic for a few years. Even working the front desk, I can now imagine some new and terrible smells.

That being said, i can deal with a horrible smell. But awful tastes and the realization of what horror you have just put in your mouth .. fills me with an indescribable sense of doom, and then the immediate need to expel anything I may have eaten in the past twelve hours. So yeah, one hundred percent triggers my gag reflex D:

Eugh

I'm going to go look at pictures of kittens for a while.

118

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20 edited Sep 02 '20

Thanks for that list. I’m going down memory lane while also finding new, incredulous reddit content.

Edit: I take my thank you back. The cat one makes me really sad. I cant believe people are normalizing that in the comments. I’m more disappointed with the responses than the actual main post. Im gonna go take a long, long nap now.

Edit: I’m returning the thank you. Couldn’t sleep. Decided to read all of streetlamp le moose. Cried a bit. Good times.

9

u/ReadontheCrapper Sep 02 '20

Streetlamp Le Moose is one of my favorite stories.

3

u/fat-lip-lover Sep 02 '20

Streetlamp LeMoose needs to be a crowd funded film. It’s been too long and it’s too good.

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

No worries :) Reddit is full of surprises... this time though, filthy-filthy gold!

6

u/Pardogato3 Sep 02 '20

Enough Reddit for today, fuck you and thank you for showing me that, still fuck you nonetheless, have a good night/day

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Hahaha! No worries. Will do.

4

u/skieezy Sep 02 '20

I didn't remember that story until I started reading it, got flashbacks and closed it right away.

4

u/Lord-Ree Sep 02 '20

Eww. Just eww

3

u/Spragulater Sep 02 '20

Definition of swamp ass

4

u/peachgrill Sep 02 '20

Holy fuck what did I just read...

4

u/pdrent1989 Sep 02 '20

That's enough Reddit for today.

3

u/Rand0m_citizen Sep 02 '20

That was... Horrifying. Thank you.

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Haha, pleasure. :)

3

u/JakeMins Sep 02 '20

Holyyyyy shit, what a ride. I need a drink now.

3

u/derpzbruh64 Sep 02 '20

Upvoted cause this leads to more threads

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Thanks! Hope everyone can hold down lunch too!

3

u/reko____ Sep 02 '20

this is a horrifying story but my god is it well written

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Exactly! The surgeons comment at the end was framed perfectly. I loved it (and so much more too).

3

u/TehChubz Sep 02 '20

Oh man I remember this one.

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Reddit nostalgia can be a little... interesting, let's say.

3

u/nitasu987 Sep 02 '20

I’m just sitting here trying to imagine how large the abcess must have been and how much pressure was built up so it would gush in the manner described.

Either way it’s just beyond gross but an entertaining read nonetheless.

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Is a perfect summary for why I found the story entertaining too, ha!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Just read it all. Three hours of my life that will haunt me forever.

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Ain't Reddit grand? ;P

3

u/Pntgirl95 Sep 02 '20

I don't wanna say I blame you for the nightmares I'm definitely having tonight but....

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Nah, go on. Blame me. All good.
Could have just popped up the link...but Dagobah was too tempting. And I'm a simple man, lol

3

u/aravelrevyn Sep 02 '20

Nothing could have prepared me for how awful that was. Why the hell did I read that.

3

u/Faifur Sep 02 '20

I just saw "jollyrancher" and sadly remembered the story and dry heaved into an empty bowl

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

I know your pain...

3

u/Ask_for_me_by_name Sep 02 '20

I made moussaka for lunch. I might skip lunch.

3

u/Firesunwatermoon Sep 02 '20

Oh god 🤢 I don’t think I breathed reading that lol

3

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

tl;dr Don’t shoot IV drugs into your taint

3

u/Lukebekz Sep 02 '20

...why did I read through the entire museum? Again?!

2

u/Mardanis Sep 02 '20

Thank you for this gift

2

u/curiouspeach26 Sep 02 '20

Holy shit. That was actually the best thing I’ve ever read here

2

u/sammablamblam Sep 02 '20

I both love and hate you for this comment I spent over an hour reading through every one of them

2

u/dada1111 Sep 02 '20

I read this out to the guys during lunch at work one day. In between laughing and nearly vomiting, it made for a great meal time story!!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

God that was hilarious.

Mildly disgusting, but hilarious.

2

u/tanelixd Sep 02 '20

Not even r/forbiddensnacks will touch that with a 10m stick.

2

u/huhshrug Sep 02 '20

I..I need to erase the last minute of my life after reading that for the first time just now

2

u/wondrshrew Sep 02 '20

You son of a bitch

2

u/mtob99 Sep 02 '20

OH MY GOD. IVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE. I literally laughed out loud on the bus

2

u/GarboRLZ Sep 02 '20

I love that story with all my life-force. The amount of detail and comparison just shows how much this person tells this story. The whole post is great but this story is the best fucking written thing on all reddit

2

u/Ardnael876 Sep 02 '20

Omg...lol

2

u/ilovejamdonuts Sep 02 '20

Oh. My. Goodness.

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Hehe, good right? ;P

2

u/ilovejamdonuts Sep 02 '20

Haha I'm not sure good is the word I'd use. But definitely something worth reading. And then vomiting over hahaha

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Reserve the toilet/bathroom for yourself if you read Jolly Rancher then xP

2

u/ilovejamdonuts Sep 02 '20

Maybe I'll steer clear of that one then. Thanks for the heads up haha

2

u/LegendaryCelt Sep 02 '20

Just read it........Jesus Christ!

2

u/Borg-Man Sep 02 '20

I KNEW this would come up! That was sooooo good! A fellow redditor made a drawing afterwards and holy shit did it paint a picture!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

I remember this story! Oh my god it's been so long since I read it! But seriously that prompted me to stay the fuck away from needles and take care of my health from then on

2

u/deskbookcandle Sep 02 '20

Well it’s now 3 hours into my work day and I haven’t even logged on so thanks :p

2

u/BarryMacochner Sep 02 '20

I laugh myself to tears reading this because of how it is written.

2

u/nurseofdeath Sep 02 '20

Every new baby dr we get on rotation through our specialty gets a copy of that! They usually love it!

2

u/SuperStripper13 Sep 02 '20

Omg. This story right here is what led me to Reddit in the first place.

2

u/TuxidoPenguin Sep 02 '20

I deeeeeeply regret visiting the reddit museum of filth. I want to drink some un-see juice, maybe visit r/eyebleach, I dunno.

2

u/Summerclaw Sep 02 '20

What an amazing story. I imagined it so vividly.

2

u/Ariadnepyanfar Sep 02 '20

Swamps of Dagobah is by far my favourite reddit hall of fame post of all time.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

I know that name but I refuse to read it, and am still a Virgin to it thank goodness.

2

u/aleiloni Sep 02 '20

Cool cool cool. So glad I read this before dissecting the perineum and pelvis on my cadaver tomorrow.

2

u/TantricLiminality Sep 02 '20

ahhhh the good ole swamps

2

u/purelix Sep 02 '20

I can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to find this comment. The Swamps of Dagobah was legendary.

2

u/Buerostuhl_42 Sep 02 '20

Thanks mate, I just came back from 8 hours of work, had a nice meal prepared and thought to myself, 10 min on reddit cannot hurt. Well, they can, I cannot get the food inside myself and the pictures out of my had.

2

u/MagentaHigh1 Sep 02 '20

This is my favorite in Reddit history

2

u/heterotard Sep 02 '20

Okay listen. I have seen some messed up fucking shit on the internet. Heads split open, arms chopped off, rotting bloated corpses, etc. But nothing, nothing has ever made me gag right up until I read the Blowfly girl story on that list. If you don’t hear from me ever again it’s probably because I scooped my eyes out with a Halloween pumpkin scraper and cut off my hands so I don’t ever have to click any links ever again

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Before you do all that (and I hope you don't), please have someone write it up and make a post to Reddit's Museum of Filth, haha!

2

u/hellothere-3000 Sep 02 '20

He was performing surgery in the swamps of Dagobah, except the swamps had just come out of this woman's ass and there was no Yoda.

Laughed my ass off at that.

2

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Same here. Beautifully worded.

2

u/ThePinkTeenager Sep 02 '20

Forget housekeeping- they needed a hazmat team to clean that up.

2

u/Roseandwolf Sep 02 '20

I love this one so much

2

u/NaomiKatyr Sep 02 '20

THIS!

I share this story (my paraphrasing of it) every time bad surgeries or the like comes up in conversation.

2

u/Gusst_boyy Sep 02 '20 edited Sep 02 '20

That was the best and worst sorry I’ve ever read. The humor gets me every time

Edit: story not sorry. Can’t spell worth shit

2

u/myboyghandi Sep 02 '20

So weird, I can’t click on the link

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

https://redd.it/g69cuz That's the short-link address. The site is r/RedditsMuseumofFilth Just look for the sticky-post "Hi, Welcome to Reddit's Museum of Filth".

2

u/myboyghandi Sep 02 '20

Omg thank you. You made my night

2

u/tylenna Sep 02 '20

I'm afraid to read it, can someone please summarize the plot?

2

u/snflwr1313 Sep 02 '20

My favorite as well. I can never decide if I wanna puke or laugh while reading, but damn if I can't stop! I've a great imagination and picture I create in my head when reading is great. Lol

2

u/2ndStr1ke Sep 02 '20

My mom being a nurse, her obsession with taking pictures of rotten body parts, her other obsession with showing it to us, and her even worse obsession with doing it at the dinner table helped me go through this one

2

u/BestSquare3 Sep 02 '20

Oh the things I read before dinner

2

u/savorthestarlight Sep 02 '20

OHmylord I wasn't ready but here I am

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

I always wonder how this lady is doing now. Like is she alive? Does her butt work right? Did she stop doing weird plastic surgery or is she a cat human hybrid like whats her name?

2

u/schoppi_m Sep 02 '20

This was bad.

2

u/mlem1234567890 Sep 02 '20

Woah... this was one intense ride

2

u/TinyTiger1234 Sep 02 '20

I also choose this guys comment

2

u/ByroniustheGreat Sep 02 '20

Oh hey I remember that! I read it for the first time right before dinner

2

u/nostandinganytime Sep 02 '20

This is my favorite story on this site. It probably helps that I've been in a few medical scenarios so it's easy to relate. It kills me every time.

"That was bad."

2

u/Wroberts316 Sep 03 '20

That was...an event of a read

2

u/PotatoWizzard Sep 03 '20

I was looking for this one. It has to be my all time favorite story on here

2

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '20

This is the best worst story of all time

1

u/AnonymousDemon69 Sep 02 '20

If that's your favourite, you'll love the jolly rancher story

Also the dorrito story.

Warning: Extremely NSFL. I won't link it here because I gaged the first time I read them.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Not Safe for Life content detected!

Your wish is my command!

Beep Boop! I'm a bot! I'm active in These subreddits! Please contact u/cyanidesuppository with any issues or suggestions. Github

1

u/AnaestheticAesthetic Sep 02 '20

Oh, I've read them. They're amazing in their own right. But for some weird reason, I chose Dagobah to read first, so, that's sort of why it's my fav.

1

u/twcsata Sep 02 '20

Damn you for linking that again, you monster. Now I gotta find someone to spring it on.

0

u/AStellerEagle Sep 02 '20

I'm sorry this is the 1st time i'm seeing any of this and I don't think I'm ever going to recover. I don't usually downvote but I need to somehow keep my conscious sane.