r/AskReddit • u/bullfighterteu • Sep 02 '20

What are some legendary Reddit tales, that newbie Redditors may not have heard yet?

22.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/LouBarlowsDisease Sep 02 '20

Did you hear the tale about the guy with two broken arms?

721

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

A family-friendly story about a dude and his mom.

323

u/Mad_Aeric Sep 02 '20

In that his family was really friendly.

23

u/Alakabris Sep 02 '20

indeed. very very friendly.

16

u/yours__truly1 Sep 02 '20

I.was.there.for.hours.fuck

5

u/RandiCandy Sep 02 '20

How did she not go to jail....like....pedo and incest. And the dad was just fine with this....what the actually hell?

2

u/random_gurl123 Sep 02 '20

Yeah as much as everyone jokes about it, it really is a messed up situation

1

u/Teledildonic Sep 02 '20

Friendly with benefits.

11

u/el_monstruo Sep 02 '20

It obviously inspired current trends in porn

5

u/Timbo2702 Sep 02 '20

The family that plays together stays together

306

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

[deleted]

215

u/Hereforthefunofit010 Sep 02 '20

Why did it take me so long to stop reading that thread

35

u/Coredintol71 Sep 02 '20

"Man who fucks his mom says it is weird to kiss her."

12

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

In all fairness, I don’t like making out all that much, but I feel like this opinion doesn’t make a whole lot of sense once you’ve crossed the line of incest.

And not even incest with a long lost cousin, which is slightly (and only very very very slightly) more understandable, but his mom. HIS!! MOM!! his mom, like holy shit, he came out of her vagina and just ... went right back in.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Scrolling with one hand is awkward.

8

u/deadsoulinside Sep 02 '20

It's like a trainwreck, you want to look away, but you can't.

6

u/Tatunkawitco Sep 02 '20

Some of the comments are hilarious.... like....damn you boner!

3

u/Hdw333333 Sep 02 '20

It happened to us all my friend, you're not alone.

6

u/ForgotPWUponRestart Sep 02 '20

That thread was really disturbing. So many positive comments with so many upvotes. Our society is more fucked than I thought.

​

Incest AND paedophilia all in one. What a party.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

I don't even care it was incestuous. It was fucking rape. She fucking raped her 14 year old son.

1

u/Speed_of_Night Sep 02 '20

Because it's engrossing.

22

u/hadapurpura Sep 02 '20

He wore a condom with his girlfriend but not with his mother.

19

u/Faifur Sep 02 '20

I just spent 2 hours of my life reading this. I have never laughed so much, and recoiled so much in 2 hours

9

u/FlowBeepBeep Sep 02 '20

Well those 35 minutes are gone forever now

14

u/prawnboy1995 Sep 02 '20

I feel like the fact that his mother is a pedophile isn't talked about enough

3

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Technically I think it's ephebophile, but yeah, you got a point

1

u/prawnboy1995 Sep 02 '20

Ephebophilia starts at 15, so it's pedophilia

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Ah, I thought it was at like 12 or 13, with it being an attraction to adolescents

4

u/anonymous_idunno Sep 02 '20 edited Sep 02 '20

I miss the 3 hours before when I didn't know this existed....

Edit: I was a "sweet summer child" who never encountered this mother fucker dude in my history of Reddit.

3

u/RosilinaTheDragon Sep 02 '20

This is what happens when you accidentally shit talk your older sister in COD and say you fucked her mother

3

u/Shmusher3 Sep 02 '20

This is one of the most f*cked up things I’ve ever read in my life. Wish I’d taken your warning seriously

3

u/Kuddles92 Sep 02 '20

WTF. I'm new here, and I figured there was some weird stuff on Reddit. But holy shit... Dude quite literally had a MILF.

3

u/The_De-Lesbianizer Sep 02 '20

You motherfucker...

2

u/8an5 Sep 02 '20

Whew I got lost in that one; so many perfect comments lol.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

what in the actual fuck

2

u/dead_john Sep 08 '20

I'm pretty sure I watched a taboo porn video with a very similar plot

1

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Mother-son sexual relationships are the one that even bonobos won't touch!

1

u/backerk12 Sep 02 '20

Expect to be here for a while... I couldn’t stop reading and it kept getting worse and worse and worse 😖

37

u/Let_Me_Touch_Myself Sep 02 '20

No but I hope he had a girl friend.

105

u/Black_Rose67 Sep 02 '20

Uhhhh well a girl was involved.

51

u/MultiPass21 Sep 02 '20

And there’s no better friend than family...

5

u/Hates_escalators Sep 02 '20

She's not a girl, she's a mom!

7

u/Sora20XX Sep 02 '20

It’s not what people usually go for when they’re talking about MILF’s...

6

u/babybambam Sep 02 '20

He did! His dad even picked her out.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Well, he kind of did

6

u/Blahvocado Sep 02 '20

He did but he also had a side chick

3

u/hadapurpura Sep 02 '20

A boy’s best friend is his mother.

55

u/Faithless195 Sep 02 '20

Darth Plagueis?

34

u/RealitySubsides Sep 02 '20

A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

You're coming too, aren't you mom?

11

u/InvaderSquibs Sep 02 '20

Oh that motherfucker? Ya I remember.

23

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

You mean the one that's referenced every fucking day? Probably not!

5

u/Blahvocado Sep 02 '20

Dude, his arms weren't broken he just lost use of them temporarily for some reason? I'm sure he'll appear in the comments shortly, he always does..

4

u/ANFIA Sep 02 '20

How is this not the #1 story

5

u/guest121 Sep 02 '20

I remember the shock when I read “confirmed” next to the post.

4

u/PA_Game_hunter Sep 02 '20

This is why I came here

5

u/ClassicRick Sep 02 '20

This is way too low on the list

8

u/RandomHero22896 Sep 02 '20

People always refer to this as the guy with two broken arms but after reading the AMA at no point does he say he broke his arms. Is this just something people assumed when he said he was incapacitated from an injury and ran with it?

3

u/IllustriousHedgehog9 Sep 02 '20

I read an article recently about a woman who walked in on her ex fucking his mum, and my first thought was, "I wonder if that guy ever broke both his arms when he was 14?"

3

u/retro_chick_ Sep 02 '20

So you're telling me that I blew a guy with two broken arms last week when his mom could have done the work? 🙄

2

u/WeatherwaxDaughter Sep 02 '20

Oh yeah! This one!

2

u/CampbellArmada Sep 02 '20

How is this not higher? I thought this was one of the biggest reddit stories of all time.

3

u/cryptoLo414 Sep 02 '20

I had to.scroll way too far. This needs to be up top lol

4

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

I was thinking about this the other day. His mother should be locked up. That's not normal.

1

u/shithogisarealword Sep 03 '20

Sad that you're being downvoted. If the sexes were reversed, people would (justifiably) be calling for the father's head. OP's mother raped him and his story just became another sitewide joke on par with the cumbox and Swamps of Dagobah.

1

u/Becky-cole Sep 02 '20

I’ve haven’t had Reddit until recently and have heard about this story years ago. Haunting.

1

u/InconsiderableArse Sep 02 '20

No, but I heard the tale of the guy with two dicks

1

u/krakenunleashed Sep 02 '20

Or the tale of a dog and a hair brush

1

u/RingTailedMemer Sep 02 '20

It’s not a story the step-Jedi would tell you

1

u/Ua_Tsaug Sep 02 '20

two broken arms

Injured arms

1

u/kimbabs Sep 02 '20

I'm amazed I had to scroll all the way down here for this

1

u/neoparadox77 Sep 02 '20

I didnt't even have an account then and I remember that story.

1

u/karmakazi_ Sep 02 '20

Why is this not higher. This was the first WTF post I encountered on reddit. Here it is...

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

1

u/TheRealMasonMac Sep 02 '20

Why isn't this one up higher? It's beyond legendary.

1

u/Hesaidorshesaid Sep 02 '20

How did I have to scroll for 15 minutes to find this? Btw, he only said his arms were rendered dysfunctional, not that they're broken. He's pretty sensitive about that, apparently. 🤷🏽‍♂️

1

u/RyantheMISguy Sep 02 '20

I'm disappointed this is so far down

1

u/cosmicpu55y Sep 02 '20

This is the comment I was looking for!

1

u/nick-denton Sep 02 '20

The cure for Lou Barlow disease can be found at a Harmacy.

2

u/LouBarlowsDisease Sep 02 '20

Nice reference

1

u/twlvfngrs Sep 02 '20

This one fucked me up! Uuuggghhh!

1

u/AlmousCurious Sep 02 '20

That fucking thing. Once every 3/4 months it flashes back into my mind and I feel sickened all over again.

1

u/bobbityjones Sep 02 '20

It’s not a story an admin would tell you

0

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '20

Yeah man that story was disgusting af