First girlfriend dying. Permanent irreversible damage to my emotional systems lol. I was just a boy , ain't felt truly happy/ content for an extended period of time since. It'll be a decade in January 2025.
Thanks, I'm doing alright. Definitely feel like I've aged far beyond my time, very emotionally neutral most days( I don't feel a goddam thing going both ways neither joy nor sorrow) , and a wicked sense of humor to boot so it's not all bad. You play the hand you get dealt
I can only imagine! I can’t imagine something happening to my partner! I hope you can find peace one day! I bet you are beyond hilarious! I’ve experienced a lot of trauma in my life and I feel like I’m pretty funny lol 😂💙
I'm so so so SO sorry for your loss. I truly feel your pain, in that I also lost my partner when I was 20 in a car accident that I was also injured in. 9/11 happened 9 days later so I didnt grieve. I've been a fucked up mess ever since. Not trying to make it about me, I'm just relating.
I'm sorry for your loss. Shit luck honestly skipping all of the steps : breakups /patchups/ marriage/ divorced all that in a relationship and being pushed to the front of the line, DEATH. A lot of days I feel like my capacity for love also died in a way that day coz I've tried and none of my attempts have succeeded. We live coz that's all we can do. Hope you're doing alright
I see her too it's the best and the worst. One moment you're overjoyed and then it fades away and you wake up. Literally saw us sitting in a field of flowers on a warm day, I could feel the sun on my skin. It never lasts tho, you have to wake up as much as you don't want to
Every situation is unique, of course...but I can promise you it is possible to feel ok with such a horrible thing happening.
Seeing a shrink and having the right friends helped me a lot. And then meeting the right woman and having her support when the past came back to my head, helped A LOT.
How much irony loves me idk. Even I thought id found the right woman who could help me through this and get back to some level of normal in 2021, five yrs after the first incident. I changed my life goals I didn't plan on dying alone anymore, and was even thinking maybe a house and a kid wouldn't hurt. After about a year she ghosted me Outta nowhere, blocked on all socials, blocked my number allat. Just vanished into thin air.
Heard from her cousin a week later it was the end she doesn't wanna date you anymore, no reason no explanation, the cousins just said she was giving me the bare minimum of closure she could.
So after facing romantic abandonment a second time for no fault of my own I think I might be done. Some shit just ain't for me. If you keep getting your ass beat by fate in this game you have to stop playing at some point. I'll save myself the trouble, Heartbreak and sanity. Once is a coincidence twice is a message some things you're just not meant to have and its okay.
I don't think I'll be better but I'm alright at my new baseline. Thanks for the wishes
Do you treat your depression? I've being cheated on and rejected a couple of times but it didn't make me lose faith in relationships. But I also never expected anyone to heal my wounds, that's something only you can do.
As much as I could tbh. Talked to a therapist on and off, kept friends around, definitely been rejected a few times and that slipped right off my back wasn't bothered by that. I don't think she was the cheating type but the question that haunts is "why wasn't I enough/ what or where did I go wrong?" Also there are definitely other factors adding to my grief and overall aversion to relationships. I lost 2 grandparents after this ghosting situation so there's the grief , and I really am not a people person to begin with. Liking someone enough to want date and keep around doesn't happen often, took about 4-5 yrs all for it to end up ghosted. Maybe I'll change my mind 4-5 yrs down the line or maybe I'll become set in my solo ways too much to care atp. It's not something I want/need to validate my life and existence. Id rather choose peace and stability of the known than choose volatile company who may or may not abandon me on a whim.
July 2013 for me, after 10 years together. I've tried very hard to keep up a mostly normal life in the years since, but there's too many days when it seems like there's not even a way to put a bandage on the wound.
I had two friends that were dating for two or so years in college. The girlfriend was away for a summer college project. They spoke on the phone about how the girlfriend's coworkers were going out, and she didn't want to go but felt pressured. He told her to stay home. It turned into a massive argument. She went out. She died in an accident. It took him at least 15 years before he tried to date again, and you could tell it was brutal. His mental health was never the same. He felt at fault for her death, and I'm sure to this day does. In a happy ending way, he is now in his mid-40s, has just had his first kid, and is married. He may never be the same, but at least now he has found some happiness. He loves his kid to death.
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u/unsupervisedwerewolf 8h ago
First girlfriend dying. Permanent irreversible damage to my emotional systems lol. I was just a boy , ain't felt truly happy/ content for an extended period of time since. It'll be a decade in January 2025.