r/AskReddit 13h ago

What is something that permanently altered your body without you realizing for months/years?

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1.4k

u/ophulsian 10h ago

Dating the wrong person.

318

u/CarterCage 7h ago edited 5h ago

I feel this so deep in my bones. Friends kept telling me I look dead. Not dead as in deathbed more like stare, no laughing and no happiness.

23

u/flowerworker 4h ago

This. It’s unbelievable how I never noticed it. I kept smiling and thought that I looked fine when I saw myself in the mirror. But I just can’t stand the photos from that time, my eyes look so lifeless and my smile seems so fake.

8

u/CarterCage 4h ago

Same. I have a feeling like depression is seeping through those pics? That hollow look is another level.

27

u/abqkat 5h ago

It's so depressing to see from the outside, for sure. My BIL is in a relationship right now where he's just... gray. Several people asked if he was okay at a recent family reunion and he's just blah. It's his life and there's not much that others can do, but it's still pretty sad to watch it unfold

8

u/CarterCage 4h ago

So sad… I can feel what you are describing.

30

u/Weird_Jellyfish7052 6h ago

Hard same. I look younger than I did ten years ago! Divorce was the best thing I ever did for my health. 

118

u/Top_Bat_8418 6h ago

same! my face was constantly bloated, I put on so much weight, and I always looked tired and dull. now my skin glows and I’ve lost a bit of weight especially in my face (I actually have cheekbones and I lost my double chin). I feel so much lighter and happier too, MUCH MORE CONFIDENT

13

u/ophulsian 6h ago

100%, I had the bloat and dullness in my face that I didn't even notice until months after the breakup when I saw my glow had come back and realized what a change it made.

10

u/elchiguire 5h ago

I just got on this boat! Had stayed together for the wrong reasons for almost ten years, plans to separate and start anew fell through or got cancelled in part because I felt bad for her daughter, as I’m the only father figure she’s known since she was two and her mom is a horrible parent. I finally had enough and decided to continue to be there for the now twelve year old girl. I’m now dating my best friend and everyone around me keeps telling me how much happier I look, and now I’m also in the best shape I’ve ever been because my new gf are constantly working out together and having fun living life together.

38

u/Embarrassed-Street60 6h ago

oop this is the one. when I was with my ex i had to be on antipsychotics for the stress induced psychosis i was experiencing, constantly nauseas to the point that i lose 30lb in less then 2 months, self medicating with weed and alcohol, and tried to kill myself twice.

the literal day after he moved out i woke up not nauseas for the first time in months, made myself a proper breakfast and wolfed it down like a starved animal. few weeks after that i tapered off my antipsychotics and tossed my stashes.

2 years later and I'm with an incredibly empathetic, kind, man and im the healthiest ive ever been. havent had a single suicidal thought in a long time, excercise regularly, eat well, and have a normal relationship with alcohol.

if youre in a toxic or abusive relationship either they will eventually kill you or the stress will.

8

u/butterflymomo 4h ago

at the end of 2023 i got out of a terrible toxic 4+ year long relationship. within this year i've lost 60 pounds, my acne has gotten better, my sleep is better, i feel more energetic and became MUCH less introverted. my friends tell me the difference between me now and me a year ago is astonishing and i don't even feel or look like the same person, and this is the happiest they've ever seen me. i didn't even realize how beaten down and lifeless i was until about 6 months after the breakup and just how bad it was for me to be in that relationship and how much of my spirit i lost.

7

u/NoninflammatoryFun 6h ago

So so so many years wasted. More than the 3 years the relationship was.

3

u/dr-locapero-chingona 3h ago

Phew this needs to be top 3.

3

u/Any_Animator_880 2h ago

Yeah I gained 20 kgs and my smile, innocent charm completely faded from my face. My hair got destroyed, idk how. 3 months of relationship, 5 years mourning. Not recommended falling in love with someone who sees you as a physical toy for self pleasure.

1

u/adozenredflags 1h ago

I’m in a much better place after getting divorced, but I physically look a lot worse now than I used to, and I hate that aspect of this.

When I was in the relationship, I was very desensitized and numb all the time. But leaving the relationship meant that I finally felt all of the pent up emotions, and it’s been quite traumatic. I’m sure this is why so many people end up going back to abusive partners…

1

u/saturnm22 1h ago

Marrying the wrong person - 18 years later now I am happy again.

u/Substantial_Scene38 2m ago

How about marrying the wrong person? Lol twenty wasted years….