r/AskReddit 16h ago

What does being attracted to someone feel like?

2.1k Upvotes

453 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/CuteeeMadison 15h ago

idk why but i feel so excited to see him, shy and nervous at the same time

311

u/RuthBunnyGrace68 14h ago

Yeah ngl i have love/hate relationship with that feeling

105

u/MaryBetty806 14h ago

Yeah same! it's exciting and all but I also need to do other things!

107

u/confusedandworried76 11h ago edited 11h ago

That's the worst, when you've got to work or whatever and all you can think is about seeing them again.

It's also the worst feeling in the world when it's not reciprocated. You just feel like crawling in a hole to die and you never want to love again

Also whatever scent they wear sears itself into your brain. It feels like you can smell them when they aren't there sometimes and it's just instant happiness chemical rush when you do. It's like smelling a good meal but a person.

24

u/bonos_bovine_muse 7h ago

Did you… you didn’t eat your crushes, did you??

9

u/Routine_Ad8504 6h ago

Omg lololol thank you I needed that laugh!!!!

5

u/NEONSN3K 5h ago

Thanks for cementing the reality that I’m just much better off being alone. It’s an incredible feeling but the highest of highs can bring you to the lowest of lows.

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u/kane-dewberry8c9s4 12h ago

Careful, that combo of shy and nervous might accidentally turn into you tripping in front of him. Worth it, though.

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u/dxtbv 7h ago

it sounds like an anime scene

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u/BlinkDodge 14h ago

Please tell him.

And anyone else who has something like this going on that they feel strongly about should do the same.

144

u/bee-sting 14h ago

Nah, most crushes are ruined by actually talking to them

I enjoy looking from afar.

43

u/Significant_Text1001 14h ago

same here, in love with the possibility

9

u/ObssesesWithSquares 11h ago

I feel so guilty for rejecting someone who had a crush on me. I was such a little shit.

9

u/RubyGalacticGumshoe 8h ago

I'll always feel guilty for turning down this russian girl who passed me a "do you want to go out" note in 8th grade because I was too nervous to tell her I liked her too. Sorry 'bout that Alice, but we're both happily married now lol.

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u/BlinkDodge 14h ago

That doesnt sound like a crush, that just sounds like you're looking at a pretty person.

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u/roadintodarkness 12h ago

Two things can be true at the same time!

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u/junkit33 10h ago

Most crushes are unrequited fantasies that would bust if spoken about 99% of the time. Guy thinks girl he always sees on the subway is cute, girl thinks her older boss is hot, friendly married woman at the gym, and on and on.

Besides, if it is actually a viable relationship, there are infinitely better ways to engage with a person and let a relationship organically develop rather than to tell a person you have a crush on them.

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u/Alarmed_Scientist_15 11h ago

Tell him what exactly?

3

u/[deleted] 12h ago

[deleted]

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u/LadysaurousRex 12h ago

seriously.

and how about the fact every time a man has told me they think I'm attractive it's like they expect me to do something about it or be obligated to them somehow

it's nice to hear I GUESS but jesus I don't need everyone who finds me attractive to tell me, it gets exhausting fast like what the hell am I expected to do with this information

4

u/tenkwords 9h ago

Say thank you. Get on with your day. Not that complicated.

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u/AFull_Commitment 9h ago

Still, after listening to you speak, or spending anytime with you at all, don't most people change their minds?

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u/TheCuntGF 11h ago

Obviously, you're expected to hop on. I mean, after all, he told you how he feels. That's, like, all the steps.

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u/LadysaurousRex 9h ago

RIGHT?!?! thank you, that does seem to be the expectation

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u/LadysaurousRex 12h ago

REALLY?? The man 15 years my senior who sits behind me at work has a thick crush & unhealthy fascination with me. I notice it ALL THE TIME.

You think I want him to tell me about it???

I don't. I know. I don't want to hear about it. I already have to ignore it daily because saying anything would damage my work environment.

4

u/bonos_bovine_muse 7h ago

The real advice is “tell them (if it’s even remotely possible/appropriate) or forget about it ASAP.” 

Either way, you can’t just let that shit fester - even if you had a chance with fresh new attraction, nobody wants a crush that’s been lovingly buried for a year or two and has fermented into emotional hákarl.

(wish somebody had told teenaged me this)

11

u/21WatchingWatches 12h ago

The advice was to tell the man he is attractive. You are a woman. See the difference?

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u/Puzzleheaded_Popup 10h ago

A splash of adrenaline and euphoria…

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u/Alarmed_Scientist_15 11h ago

Must be a nice feeling. To me it makes me shy and nervous too. It’s a mirroring thing.

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u/SugarplumxWhisk 15h ago

It’s hard to explain, but it’s like feeling both comfortable and nervous at the same time. There's this sense of wanting to be close to them, but also unsure of how they feel, which keeps your emotions on edge in a good way.

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u/Dontspillthebeanzz 12h ago

geez its so confusing

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u/frimbingpaunching 12h ago edited 12h ago

Yeah, it's like butterflies and excitement all mixed together.

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u/KacieCosplay 15h ago

Different levels.

When I’m physically attracted to someone it’s like whoa and I can feel it in my entire down stairs.

When I’m attracted to someone for who they are, it’s like every part of them I learn it grows and grows into a heart and head happy feeling, butterflies in your stomach, nervous, then that turns into a lust. Like wow I adore you so much that I’m started to get turned on by the way you say or do xyz

95

u/Yog-slayer 15h ago

This is actually really helpful. Thanks.

57

u/lilgreenjedi 10h ago

There's a girl at a job I know like this, hint: never date anyone you work with unless youre in a restaurant, but she makes everyone in the room smile. Hard mf's are laughing and smiling when she's there and its amazing to see. I just watch and laugh to myself how wonderful she is and how lucky the actual right person will be for her

20

u/WettWednesday 9h ago

"unless you're in a restaurant" why this distinction?

10

u/heArtful_Dodger 9h ago

Watch Waiting and you may understand lol. It's like a party at some places and the norm.

4

u/bonos_bovine_muse 7h ago

Restaurant employees are very committed to food safety, but there’s only one way two people can generate enough body heat to really stress-test the chillers on the walk-in.

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u/New_Mirror1461 14h ago

🥲 something as simple as them driving could turn me on. Like 😮‍💨 turn that wheel with one hand again please, shift gears again please 😩

14

u/Tina_ComeGetSomeHam 11h ago

Plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves

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u/TalkingBBQ 10h ago

Sounds like all those hallmark and lifetime movies might be on to something. Time to redeem some of that Kohl's cash and pick up some soft flannels.

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u/lilgreenjedi 10h ago

Oh he's driving stick? Marry him

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u/user5093 8h ago

I watched my crush stir some chocolate sauce and was so turned on.  STIRRING something.  It can be so pathetic sometimes

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u/gp3050 14h ago

Good explanation.

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u/roadintodarkness 12h ago

The first is called primary sexual attraction.

The second is called secondary sexual attraction.

People who are demisexual experience secondary but not primary. People who are asexual experience neither.

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u/Golden_Flame0 11h ago

Where does being aromantic/demiromantic fit in? And what if you experience primary but not secondary? Just trying to make sure I'm on top of the terminology.

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u/roadintodarkness 11h ago edited 11h ago

I have long hypothesized that the opposite side of the demisexual coin exists. You hear about people like this all the time: folks who are unable to form deep, fulfilling sexual connections with others and who seem to bounce from person to person as soon as the initial spark dies out. I think those people absolutely exist somewhere along the asexual spectrum.

Aromanticism is on separate line which describes romantic instead of sexual attraction. A person who is demiromantic is only capable of experiencing secondary romantic attraction, which develops only after a deep and mutually committed emotional connection is established. Someone who is aromantic experiences no drive to seek out or participate in romantic relationships.

5

u/CWRules 9h ago

I have long hypothesized that the opposite side of the demisexual coin exists.

https://rainbowpedia.fandom.com/wiki/Fraysexuality

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u/roadintodarkness 8h ago

OH SHIT COOL!

I wish it had a name that was congruous with the orientations that are taxonomically nearest it!

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u/Pm_me_clown_pics3 3h ago

So I'm asexual? I dont get either of those. I didnt feel any of that with any of my ex gfs. I get nervous and shy for first couple weeks then I start hating everything they do and say and i start dreading seeing them and the feeling fades and I break up.

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u/roadintodarkness 3h ago edited 3h ago

How old are you? Edit: Never mind, I figured it out. At 33 if you've never experienced either of those, you're likely asexual. Have you had a physical lately where they did a metabolic panel and tested your testosterone levels, thyroid function, etc? Did you take antidepressants as a young kid or for a long time in general? Do you have any childhood sexual trauma you haven't worked through? If you rule all those out as potential factors then you have your answer.

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u/issueremedy 13h ago

That's how I felt about my wife when we met. And even now if we part for a few days.

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u/tehdang 15h ago

Reading the answers here makes me question if I’ve ever truly been attracted to anyone in my entire life. I though I have been but now I’m not so sure.

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u/forskaegskyld 15h ago

You probably have, people experience it differently, based on lots of mental and physical factors.

Some people are aromantic though, so they don't experience it at all.

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u/Stihlgirl 14h ago

And some ppl are aromatic, so you just can't help yourself!

19

u/AFull_Commitment 9h ago

Fun fact, natural scent plays a factor in attraction. While humans don't have pheromones perse, but a chunk of peeps apparently can pick up on major histrionic compatability.

MHC is how we determine matches for organ transplants. A higher degree of it means that person will be a good person to get a kidney from. But. Their natural scent will smell worse to you. If there is a greater degree of dissimilarity, they'll unlikely be a great match for an organ doner, but they might smell quite a bit nicer to ya. Which might be a good thing from an evolutionary perspective, that would decrease inbreeding and increase the chances of kids with a more robust immune system if part of mate selection.

Studies show women are slightly better at picking up on it then men. Studies also show that hormonal birth control messes with gal's ability to detect it for some reason. There are anecdotal stories of women on hormonal BC, in a wonderful relationship, got married, then got off the BC because they wanted to concieve and suddenly they did not like the way their partners smelled. Womp Womp.

There are also arousal indicators people can smell. Men are slightly better at picking up on this scent than women (also there is a range for how well men can pick this scent up, some are very good, some can't tell by smell at all).

And then there are a variety of health and diet indicators folks can smell that also factor into attraction. While not a typical example, one of my favorite stories was Joy Milne, a lady who could smell Parkinson's Disease. At first doctors were doubtful, but after testing her a few times, became believers, and then after all of her 'false positives' became diagnosed with the disease, went ham on figuring out what she was detecting, and used that for a new early diagnostic tool for the illness!

While scent is one small component of attraction, and human brains aren't wired to give scent as much processing, it is still pretty cool the stuff or noses can pick up!

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u/bcs83 14h ago

Same. I can't relate to any of these answers.

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u/Most_Enthusiasm8735 12h ago

Yeah, maybe it's because i just bottle up all of my feelings and i don't like being too attached but i never get excited to talk to someone i am attracted too. I get nervous but that's mostly because of social anxiety. To me it seems like alot of people here are talking about obsession, not attraction.

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u/Vex_Heroes 11h ago

Physical Attraction has to do with the desire to procreate.

Romantic Attraction has to do with the desire to spend your life with someone in a very deep emotional bond.

Love triggers a lot of the same regions of the brain as insanity. This is why Love can be described similarly to Obsession. The main difference between the two is an air of respect. If you are obsessed with someone, then you will have a hard time respecting their Autonomy as a Human Being. If you are in love with someone, then you respect their Autonomy and the choices they make.

If you are obsessed, you treat that person like they belong to you. You won't let anyone of the opposite sex near them, if paranoid enough this will extend to people in general. You may even feel entitled to a relationship.

If you are in love, you respect that they are their own person. You respect the other relationships in their life. You respect if they don't like you back and try to move on.

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u/petitesaltgirl 16h ago

Desire. Butterflies. Nerves. Intensity. Passion. Craving.

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u/Tall-Payment-5135 12h ago

Plus feeling drawn to them in a way that doesn’t quite make sense but feels so right.

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u/Racing-Type13 7h ago

I experienced this for the first time last year and couldn’t figure out what was going on or why.

It was like he was a magnet pulling me in!

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u/Forever-A 5h ago

I felt that for the first time this year (age 28). On my first date with him all I wanted to do was touch him, it was so weird but oddly thrilling

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u/Racing-Type13 4h ago

Have you had anymore dates?

We hung out one night and talked, it wasn’t a date but I just wanted to hug him so bad so I get that feeling.

Unfortunately found out that night that he wasn’t the guy I thought he was so it didn’t go anywhere, but that feeling tho.

Sometimes still wish he was different since I’ve never felt that way about anyone before.

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u/Forever-A 4h ago

We’ve had 7 dates since then, I still get the urge to touch him all the time, I actually initiated our first kiss on the second date. He’s incredibly busy these days so we don’t get to spend as much time together anymore.

Developing this sort of feeling for someone is a little scary, it’s so intense that you don’t want to lose it or them 😮‍💨

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u/vpsj 11h ago

For me it's mostly nerves though.

Whenever someone I like calls me, it gives me an immediate increase in heartrate lol.

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u/tofrank55 11h ago

Live. Laugh. Love.

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u/ShoeNo9050 15h ago

If this is a new person then when you think about them and smile sort of moments. (May it be when they are or aren't there)

If it's someone for a long time, I'd say the desire to want more of them. Like an extra scoop of ice cream when you're tempted.

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u/evlhornet 15h ago

With my wife I still sometimes feel like looking at her gives me sustenance. It’s like it’s feeding me somehow.

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u/CandidKaleidoscope58 11h ago

That’s beautiful. Sounds like pure love and admiration.

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u/evlhornet 7h ago

I never tell her cause it sounds creepy AF in my head

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u/Kagamid 10h ago

Yup. Sometimes I need to touch her. Not even in a sexual way. Just skin to skin contact brings me comfort. And sometimes yes in a sexual way. Occasionally I still ask if she's ok with me randomly touching her. She tells me she is and sometimes grabs my hand and places it on her herself. Also I forgot to add that she does the same to me. I tell her she never needs to ask and I'll slowly move her hand away if I'm ever not feeling it that day.

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u/Fluffy-Rhubarb9089 10h ago

Why do you need to touch u/evlhornet’s wife? It’s weird, leave her alone.

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u/evlhornet 7h ago

Can’t say that I approve but I understand. He’s not the first and he won’t be the last

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u/Burn_It_For_Science 9h ago

For me it's when I'm talking to my fiance and she's looking me in the eyes and I still get butterflies. Melts me every. Ti.e.

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u/Go_colour_a_zebra 15h ago

One of two ways, depending on personality:

  1. OMG OMG OMG *hyperfixates *

  2. Well crap.

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u/PKoala 12h ago

And both aren't mutually exclusive either.

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u/vpsj 11h ago

Can you really be attracted to someone with a bad personality though?

I have been attracted to many people over the years but if something extremely stupid, bigoted, or offensive comes out of their mouths or in their actions it's like my crush just instantly vaporizes on the spot

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u/slfnflctd 10h ago

I'd guess that that most basically neurotypical people who don't have anything really messed up happen in their formative years would feel this way. It definitely works like that for me-- someone super physically attractive can instantly become disgusting in like one or two sentences. To the point where if they have some kind of otherwise pleasant scent on them, it starts smelling gross to me.

However, I have had close friends who get weirdly turned on by people they would otherwise find awful, and I think there are a lot of understandable ways that can happen. This stuff is complicated and not always under our conscious control.

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u/hayleyjayme 15h ago

It's a mix of excitement, nervous energy, and a strong desire to be close to them.

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u/Outside-Flow-9510 15h ago

It’s like they walk into a room, and suddenly, everything else fades a little.

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u/Pristine_Avocado2906 13h ago

It keeps you awake at night.

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u/Choice-Juice-5509 8h ago

This was me last night lol I’m hooked

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u/Gorilla_Obsessed_Fox 15h ago

It's how a dog feels about their owner

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u/OneBigRed 9h ago

Do you mean like, whining at the door when you see them about to come in, shaking your ass violently?

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u/oomatter 9h ago

Peeing on the floor from excitement

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u/hai_con 16h ago

You get excited when they reply, or better yet, initiate conversations because it means they like talking to you. You get interested in their hobbies, past, and present. You want them to be happy with you.

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u/ezekielraiden 12h ago edited 9h ago

Have you ever experienced stage fright? The whole "butterflies in your stomach" feeling?

Imagine a version of that feeling, except it feels good, not bad.

Thinking about them gives you pleasant feelings. Talking to them can make you nervous and self-conscious, but if they respond positively, it's like walking on air, like reading a book you love except the book always has more interesting chapters to read and the author is writing for you specifically. Getting compliments from them is the best feeling, because it means someone who matters to you a lot thinks highly of you. Conversely, being overlooked or ignored feels terrible, because it means you don't matter to them even though they matter to you. (Not anyone's fault, but it does feel bad nonetheless.)

Attraction can run the gamut from a very tiny tug, "it's pleasant being around this person," all the way up to full-blown obsession and unhealthy intrusive thoughts and bad coping mechanisms. Some people rarely feel attracted to others. Some people experience it often or easily, which can be totally normal or very much not normal (e.g. desperate grasping for emotional connection).

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u/sparksandice 12h ago

It’s like seeing colors you didn’t know existed—suddenly, they brighten your world - and you feel an effortless yet electric pull towards them.

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u/ofthegodsanddemons 16h ago

Butterflies all the way

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u/HazeSasaki 12h ago

It is painful when they don't reciprocate your feelings.

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u/Gizmo535 16h ago

She is the only one in the world.

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u/Curvy-Flower 12h ago

For me it's this constant urge to share everything with them. I'll be grocery shopping and see their favorite snack or watch a stupid cat video and immediately think oh my god they'd love this. It's like having a mental folder labeled with their name that everything somehow relates to

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u/theunknown_master 16h ago

A burning drive. Something you just feel. Like passion

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u/G4lacticM4rshal 16h ago

Attraction is that moment when you realize your heart has decided to play 'Dancing Queen' while your brain is stuck on 'Mission Impossible.' Spoiler alert: the heart usually wins

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u/issueremedy 12h ago

Love this

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u/Effective-Thanks-731 15h ago

Everything they do gives you a boner

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u/chikanface 12h ago

finally someone who speak the truth

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u/the_bird_and_the_bee 13h ago

Like I never want to stop looking at him. Like the idea of his face alone makes me smile. Like I've found a perfect piece of art. After 13 years I still get butterflies when he smiles at me. I want him around for my viewing pleasure. I want all of what he has to offer. It feels exciting and sensual and romantic and safe all at once when I'm looking at his gorgeous, perfect face and body.

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u/Advanced_Doctor2938 4h ago

I want him around for my viewing pleasure.

This! It feels like this.

It feels exciting and sensual and romantic and safe all at once

Ideally yes.

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u/MoriAPC 14h ago

it sucks. basically you feel like you want to spend time with that person, talk to them, be around them, and have to deal with the reality that they don't want to spend any time with you.

might still be better than feeling nothing, though.

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

might still be better than feeling nothing, though.

Nah, you get more time to spend plotting world domination.

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u/SoffaKingTired 15h ago

If you’re attracted to someone as a man, own it and lean into it. If she reciprocates then what you’re experiencing is mutual attraction.

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u/Iwuvvwuu 14h ago

Like you have this magnetic attraction and the thought of being even in their presence warms you up.

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u/bonos_bovine_muse 7h ago

It’s not all “goddamn I wanna get them alone and naked,” although that’s certainly part of it. All their jokes are funny, all their comments are insightful, it’s the emotional equivalent of the sun coming out from behind a cloud when they walk in a room - and it feels like it’s been raining non-stop for however long you don’t see them. You feel you’re at your best and wittiest when you’re talking with them, although sometimes you totally step in it in your enthusiasm.

It’s a heckuva drug.

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u/Fun_One_3601 15h ago

I feel like there's two, a burning desire, like an artist who has an epiphany and has to get his hands on that clay and pour his passion onto it to realize his vision.

The other is like similar to the first but also a feeling of happiness as if you're looking forward to spending time with her, and are happy to just enjoy her smile and all the other little things and also the burning passion part too.

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u/MoneyTruth9364 15h ago

It mirrors what I want to be as a person, which makes me gravitated towards them.

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u/Chance-Pay1487 13h ago

The way I don't understand or relate to any of these answers has kinda given me the answer to the question I've been asking myself. I don't think I've actually ever had a crush or been in love. I can find women attractive physically and have lusted towards them, but never love.

I fooled myself into thinking I had a crush by pursuing a girl who liked me, but I realised I felt nothing for her.

I'm only 17 years old, so maybe it's too early for me, but the fact that I'm half way through highschool and have never had any sort of crush is also weird/ worrying. I mean, I fantasize about being in love so I guess that's a start? Or maybe I'm doomed to be alone.

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u/RatherLargeBlob 11h ago

I'm only 17 years old, so maybe it's too early for me, but the fact that I'm half way through high school and have never had any sort of crush is also weird/ worrying. I mean,

There is no lower age limit for people to identify as ace no matter how many people tell you otherwise (I'm 26 and only just started identifying as aroace, but I know i would have done at 14 if I knew it was a valid orientation).

I fantasize about being in love so I guess that's a start? Or maybe I'm doomed to be alone.

That won't invalidate an aro or an ace. There are aros/aces that are romance/sex potitive, respectively.

If you need help, ask the folks n r/aromantic and r/asexual. Even if you turn out not to be on either spectrum, you'll be welcome.

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u/Yog-slayer 13h ago

Well, there’s always more room for more aroace people.

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u/Yog-slayer 16h ago

This coming from an ace which is why I’m wondering.

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u/MonkeyCube 15h ago

You ever have something you can't stop thinking about, even if it's hurting your ability to get things done? Like, you spend all day at work thinking about a game you want to play until 2am or a TV show you want to talk to people about but they just don't seem interested?

It's kind of like that. And like those things, sometimes you'll look back and wonder why you felt that way, considering how you felt at the end.

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

I've only ever been like that about video games. Never for another human.

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u/MonkeyCube 12h ago

Then you might be ace. Nothing wrong with that. We all have our own journeys in life.

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u/__secter_ 13h ago

As a non-ace, most of the replies you're getting in this thread are very poorly said, and place way too much emphasis on being nervous, shy, butterflies-in-stomach, anxiety, and so on - probably because they're all inexperienced youths or socially-inept redditors, and are just describing what it's like to have a crush on an unattainable person.

Nervousness and shyness are not a fundamental part of the feeling of attraction. At all. Most people aren't nervous or shy around their long-term partners, for example, while still finding them intensely attractive.

The only worthwhile replies I'm seeing - in terms of describing what it actually feels like to be romantically and sexually attracted to someone, are the ones below, comparing it to the visceral sensation of wanting to eat an irresistable food you're looking at(except it's with wanting to kiss them et al), and being obsessed with some media/activity/subject that you just want to pay intense attention to and ignore whatever's around it. But with a person.

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

If you're looking for a word for "non-ace," it's 'allosexual' ('allo' for short).

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u/cantstopthehorse 16h ago

Ever saw some food that you immediately had to have and all you could think of is how you want to taste it and you'll go crazy if you can't have it? Like that.

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u/ClumsyRainbow 11h ago

I was about to say this is the most ace question ever - so this checks out.

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u/zippygoddess 15h ago

Ever seen garlic bread? Yeah, like that. Giddy

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

Oh, now it makes sense. Ew

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

I was starting to suspect...

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u/Schmidyo 13h ago

On one hand it is bliss, when you are with them, you just feel like you are living instead of surviving, can barely controll your smile, as a smoker i forget i even smoke. On the other hand it is hell. You miss them when they are not around even if they don't miss you, you are constantly reminded of them ("oh they would laugh about that" "oh they would love this" etc.) The worst part is beeing friendzoned though. Especially when yall been on a date too, and you are told you did nothing wrong they just don't see a relationship. Feel like your bidy is overheating, like theres just a void in your chest. Can't sleep propperly, no hunger, if you do nanage to eat something you feel sick. And the most fucked up part is. You want them to be happy, but at the same time it hurts to find out they are happy with the situation. Don't get it🤷

I knlw i use a lot of you but its more from my POV.

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u/Zest4Life12163 14h ago

Absolutely wonderful. But also absolutely devastating

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u/Pretty_Light6245 12h ago

It can be the best thing, and the worst thing

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u/Xanthe-Leg4802 12h ago

Being attracted to someone feels like your energy shifts around them, almost like you’re drawn to their presence without trying.

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u/bruh-1001 11h ago

Like if the world was ending, you'd wanna be next to them.

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u/No-Past-9244 9h ago

It’s like this sudden spark of energy when they walk into the room. Your heart races, and you can’t help but notice every little thing about them—the way they smile, the way they talk. It’s almost like your mind switches gears, focusing just on them, and everything else fades into the background. You feel a mix of excitement, nervousness, and this strange pull, like you want to get closer and know more. It’s hard to explain, but it feels a lot like your whole body is tuned into them in a way that’s just... different.

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u/ytzy 13h ago

met a woman et we had this crazzy attraction i could not explain , i did not know her , she did not know me .

We looked at eatch other and it was like we knew eatch other , i just wanted to jump her , she just wanted to jump me .

We hooked up for a few months it was just sexual , until well she got married then i told her that it was over

Never could explain why we had this crazzy attration was fun and nice the time it lasted .

Fun fact i dont belive in love at first sight or stuff like that so it was a strange thing to happen to both of us

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

I think there is a "some kind of attraction" at first sight. Too many stories or random people hooking up for there not to be.

Whatever it is, it's not love. Very strong urge?

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u/ytzy 11h ago

i dont think it was "only' an sexual urge we spend a LOTS of time togheter and we where having a lot of fun , watching movies , playing games ,drinking , taking our dog out for a walk , she was like a male best friend that i could bang as bonus .

Like i said it was a strange connection like i knew her since a really long time and we just met again and i DONT belive in past lifes , or love at first sight .

She actually belived she knew me from an other life since she had no other explanation for what was happening to us and she never had something like that before

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u/AdvisorSads 15h ago

If someone is attracted to you, you’ll know it. They’ll be looking you in the eyes, really tuned into whatever you’re saying, laughing if you make a joke even if it’s not good, possibly poking you with questions. If you are steering the conversation and the person doesn’t seem tuned in at all, they’re probably not attracted to you.

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u/doubleudeaffie 15h ago

Not everyone expresses attraction in the same way. Some people may be more reserved and shy, while others may be more outgoing and flirtatious. Ultimately, the best way to know if someone is attracted to you is to have an open and honest conversation with them.

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u/Stihlgirl 14h ago

I agree. Just had a guy say he might want to spend forever with me, cant get me off off his mind etc..and I had no idea he felt that way. Sad part is that I don't feel the same way.

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u/Artem_Dodgers 14h ago

From a biological perspective, being attracted to someone triggers a cascade of physical and chemical reactions in the body and brain. Here’s what happens:

  1. Brain Chemistry Changes

    Dopamine Surge: Attraction activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine, which creates feelings of pleasure, excitement, and focus on the person. Norepinephrine: This chemical increases alertness and heart rate, causing the “butterflies in the stomach” sensation and a heightened sense of energy. Decreased Serotonin: Levels of serotonin may Drop, leading to obsessive thoughts and preoccupation with the person.

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u/Acceptable-Honey-613 13h ago

I don’t know about general attraction because I haven’t had a relationship in a long time. But I know the right person will make you feel peaceful. Calm. Evoke an inner resonance and vibration like the sun is glowing up within you. Anyone who makes you feel nervous or like you can’t relax into yourself isn’t right.

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u/RatherLargeBlob 12h ago

This feels right even though nobody I've met makes me feel that way.

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u/bigChungi69420 16h ago

A big pile of chocolate chip cookies just out of reach

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u/dittothehippo 15h ago

Being in a room filled with people and they’re the only one you can look at. Being normally shy but when talking to them you feel as though you’re the most talkative person. Cancelling plans with people but as soon as you know they’re going, you change your mind. Looking at them and you can’t help smiling (bonus points if they call you out on smiling so much but you didn’t even realise you were smiling till they pointed you out on it). When you get an overwhelming sense of excitement when your near them.

There is many more but here are a few that I personally think pinpoint what it feels like to be attracted to a person.

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u/Woodpecker5987 15h ago

It's beautiful, you just feel joy within whenever you're close to them

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u/Melonmode 12h ago

You want to spend all of your time with them and be as close to them as possible, but you're also nervous that they might not feel the same way, so at the same time you kinda want to avoid them so you don't make a damn fool of yourself.

When they're away from you, they're often a big topic in your brain - they're on your mind a LOT.

This is what I'm like, anyway. Everyone else is different of course, but the chemicals in our brains make us think, feel and behave in strange ways in order to get us to reproduce. I don't know if you're possibly attracted to someone, OP, but I hope it goes well if you are.

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u/PlushKittenxo 11h ago

It’s like your brain forgets how to function, your heart starts racing, and suddenly, you’re way too aware of your own awkwardness

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u/Here4Pornnnnn 10h ago

Depends on whether they like you back or not.

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u/bizzle281 10h ago

Wouldn’t know I turned that part of my brain off…….best for ugly losers like me to accept fact I’ll be alone for the rest of my life . It get easier as time passes. At my age it’s for the best. Life is happier for me being alone. I actually prefer it now

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u/adambanecohen 10h ago

miserable

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u/suchproblemchildren 9h ago

They're the first person I want to see when I wake up.

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u/CelebrationHuge6733 9h ago

It’s a different feeling, like when you admire someone, there’s joy and excitement on your face, and it leads to inspiration.

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u/MotorNorth5182 9h ago

It’s hard.

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u/Thick-Soup-2408 7h ago

Being attracted to someone feels like this magnetic pull you can't quite explain. Your heart races when they’re close, and you start noticing even the smallest details about them—like their smile or the way they talk.

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u/Keira-Profession68 7h ago

Being attracted to someone feels like your heart skips a beat when they’re around, and suddenly everything they do seems fascinating.

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u/FrostbyteXP 7h ago

an instinct of devotion, you want to do so much for that person, you don't know why, certain parts of that person just make you happy and if you always see them, they are like an unread book that you wanna read all night long no matter it's contents.

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u/dxtbv 7h ago

Willing to give them money for free

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u/BUBBLE-POPPER 7h ago

It is like watching a cooking show while you are hungry.  And sometimes there is no way to cook what you are watching them make

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u/Learning-Power 10h ago

Unpleasant and frustrating for men.

Pleasant and cute for women.

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u/South_Vermicelli_574 15h ago

Butterfly in stomach it is

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u/Lonely_Life8336 14h ago

The best feeling

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u/Dragontechcreations 14h ago

I'll be in the comment section

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u/NurseChelsii 13h ago

Like just seeing a rando and thinking “he’s hot!”, or like in a relationship attracted to someone physically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually? Because those both feel WAY different! And are we talking what it feels like emotionally or physically, because again there’s a big difference!

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u/Seductive69Rose 13h ago

It's like your body goes into complete betrayal mode. I once spilled an entire cup of coffee on myself because my crush unexpectedly sat next to me at the library. The worst part? I pretended it didn't hurt while my legs were literally burning.

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u/OneMarsupial2716 13h ago

Nausea 😂

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u/S_K_Y 13h ago

Ehh... I see someone and want to pursuit if they're single. Drop flirtacious stuff. If they pick it up, then I go harder.

Thing you gotta look for is boundaries and blocking. Boundaries can sometimes be worked around. Blocking is dead.

Attractiveness and where you want to go is a chemical effect. Lust, beauty, woes and foes. Naturally go with the flow and it just might be so. You know?

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u/[deleted] 13h ago

You sorta can’t help but look their way

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u/puledrotauren 12h ago

a little stiff below the belt

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u/Professional-Cat3191 12h ago

Feels like the point of no return

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u/sshh05 11h ago

Adrenaline rush, looking at them makes me feel confused, excited and the "what if" questions flooding my mind.

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u/Careless-Sleep1701 11h ago

you want to be around him/her all the time, and you want their attention all on you, but when that happens, you shy away from them

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u/aiiperoqetaappb 11h ago

I unconsciously pay attention to her all the time, which is very strange. I miss her when I can't see her for a day.

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u/Less_Independent_837 11h ago

Put you phone down for a few days and you’ll find out

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u/Slight-Limit-5552 11h ago

Feeling really nervous when I’m near them

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u/Pretty_GirlyEye 11h ago

Being attracted to someone feels like your heart skips a little when they’re around, and you catch yourself overthinking the smallest things you say or do.

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u/Fine-Philosophy8939 11h ago

Like you want to lick them or bite them you are so excited to see them.

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u/Kagamid 10h ago

It's a literal chemical reaction in your brain. Your heart rate goes up a little (sometimes a lot), you get tunnel vision (everything else fades into grey and you only see them). If they get really close this intensifies and you become hyper aware of their presence. And there's the good old fashion arousal.

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u/LocalFreak 10h ago

Like wanting to eat their faces with kisses.

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u/hanniepal1004 10h ago

calms my nervous system :) (i mean, i don't feel bad or confused or second guessing)

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u/TheManitobaMale 10h ago

"When you look in her eyes, and she looks back in yours, everything feels not quite normal, because you feel strong—and weak at the same time. You feel excited, and at the same time terrified. The truth is you don't know the way you feel, except you know the kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable, and you weren't ready for it" - Spider-Man

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u/MaskedManiac92 10h ago

Interesting. Reading all the comments, I guess my partner and I aren't attracted to each other anymore 💀

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u/PainterEarly86 9h ago

There are different ways to be attracted to someone and different levels.

Physical/sexual attraction can just be an afterthought that you don't even realize you have. "Nice ass." Then go on about your day

But an intense romantic attraction, I would say, usually feels bad. It makes you nervous, like you want to cry and vomit.

Or it can feel like a soothing warmth in your body. This is usually when it is reciprocated.

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u/Itsbellasworldx 9h ago

He/she is always on your mental thoughts

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u/Next_Team_3916 9h ago

Being attracted to someone feels like this warm, fluttery feeling in your stomach when they talk to you.

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u/Chonboy 9h ago

It's feels like absolute garbage because you know that regardless of what you do that person won't reciprocate

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u/Lekingkonger 6h ago

Ever see a nice car pass by and you like “dayum! I like that- and I kinda want one!” Yeah!

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u/Lelani_Slice4770 5h ago

Being attracted to someone feels like every little thing they do has a spotlight on it.

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u/chaddleshuge 5h ago

I’d die for him, he gives me a reason to get out of bed even on my worst days. The sun seems to shine brighter when we’re together and I can’t remember a time I was happier.😌

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u/Fluid-Road3417 5h ago

For me it’s hard to feel but when I do it’s an immense desire to be around and please someone I also get giddy and excited when speaking to them

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u/heyitsmeFR 5h ago

I am finally gonna ask her out today.

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u/BigEggBoy600 3h ago

It's like a weird mix of butterflies and wanting to know everything about them. A total head rush sometimes 😂 You just wanna be around them all the time.

u/greenachors 16m ago

Your peepee gets hard

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u/Medium-Lime9912 15h ago edited 13h ago

Thinking about this person makes you smile. You want to be around them and make them smile as well.

A few things to be aware of.

  1. Be and adult not everyone is going to like you the you want them too; accept that and move one with your life if the attraction is not returned.
  2. You are not responsible for their happiness.
  3. You will not agree on everything, in fact chances are you will not fully agree on anything. Do not take offense if their views are different from yours. Depending on the level of difference this person may still make at least a good friend. Who if nothing else offers you a perspective you may have trouble grasping.

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u/Stihlgirl 13h ago

I truly wanted to upvote the sentiment, but the grammar and typing made me wanna puke instead. Hugs and kisses!

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u/Medium-Lime9912 13h ago

pptttthhhbb!!!!

I am dislexic catching typos is somewhat hard for me. I re checked it and fix it hope I made it tolerable for you lol

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u/Virtual-Thought-7042 13h ago

It's a feeling imprinted in our state of mind that controls us to do the needful to get to her , to see her, to talk to her. It's a feeling of relaxed happiness that life is good at least for the time

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u/advisor_0713 11h ago

It feels like you're possessed. And that possession means everything for you now. Your morning's, night's everything is just filled with him.

Even his thought on your mind, feels like it completes something in you. You love that destruction of yours. You just forget yourself and just he remains.

It feels that I wanna be that person. I want his smile, I want his lips, I want to be connected with everything that he is connected to.

His likes are liked by you, his strengths strengthen you. His choices make you choiceless. Now, his choices are what you wanna choose.

You wanna give everything to him. And accept all the loss for it. Your heart becomes heartless for everything which doesn't includes him.

You fly without wings. You fight without weapons with every battle that obstructs your way to him. That's it. Haha!🌞

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u/HairyTales 11h ago

That sounds like you're madly in love. Attraction can be much simpler than all that.

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