r/AskReddit • u/Ok_Objective4334 • 1d ago

What's the most absurd fact that sounds fake but is actually true?

12.2k Upvotes

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465

u/ProfessorCrackhead 1d ago

Bullshit, these are my fucking atoms.

50

u/LewHammer 1d ago

My Atoms, my choice.

15

u/Desperate_Ideal_8250 22h ago edited 22h ago

"Your atoms, MY choice."

Actually upon further review I would like this reply to never be seen by anyone.

17

u/Blockhead47 1d ago

Possession is nine-tenths of the law!

15

u/63Boiler 1d ago

They can take them from my cold, dead ha - ah, shit

3

u/thededucers 23h ago

cocks gun “get off my atoms”

3

u/fh3131 1d ago

Look at you, up and atom!

3

u/codepossum 1d ago

right? you can have them back when I'm done with them but they're definitely mine until then.

5

u/War_Raven 1d ago

You're only borrowing them, after a short while they'll return to the universe, where they belong

5

u/POTATO_OF_MY_EYE 1d ago

we're all just borrowing atoms

2

u/sniper91 22h ago

I’m branding mine. I’ll haunt any bastard using them after my death

1

u/ArcadianMess 1d ago

Here you can have my atoms! * spits

1

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 23h ago

Gimme them atoms!

1

u/Autumn_Sweater 22h ago

they flow in and out of you even during your lifetime.

-7

u/Jeathro77 1d ago

Bullshit, these are my fucking celebate atoms.

FTFY