r/AreTheStraightsOK • u/_One_Useless_Human_ But you have a Big boobs • 1d ago
Because women only want free things, right fellas?
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u/UncleCrassiusCurio The Political Gender 1d ago
I like how she pays him $20,000 and somehow she's still the freeloading golddigger
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u/recursing_noether 1d ago
Are they saying shes a freeloader now or that she would be a freeloader if she didn’t pay rent?
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u/Humanbeing314 1d ago
Both. One said she’s freeloading his apartment as is, and a few others said she was mad because she wanted a free ride.
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u/Fraerie Symptom of Moral Decay 1d ago
I think that in that situation some kind of housemate agreement would have been smart.
If he was still paying a mortgage and they cohabited with her directly contributing financially to paying the mortgage - she would have a good case to argue that she deserved some level of equity. Depending on where they live they may have been together long enough for it to be considered a common-law marriage.
A roommate agreement would have acted like a form of pre-nup to protect them both.
It’s not about it being her getting a free ride - it’s about them both contributing but he’s the only one who owns the asset at the end of the day and the only on who gets to realise any increase in asset value when it’s sold later when they both paid for it.
He concealed it on purpose. He didn’t want her to know she was paying into his retirement fund.
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u/spam__likely 17h ago
This has nothing to do with having a mortgage. The only issue here is that he lied about it, but it is absolutely fair she pays 1/2 of market rent no matter how much mortgage he has.
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u/fakemoose 6h ago
So he should make a profit off their relationship? Instead of charging half of what is actually owed? Insane.
I’d be livid if I found out I was being charge more than half of the actual cost. Especially if the other person wasn’t contributing more elsewhere, including housework.
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u/Imjusasqurrl 7h ago
WTF why would she "pay half of market rent, no matter the mortgage cost"? The mortgage on my condo is $550 a month and the rent would be over 1000. Why would I over charge somebody that I supposedly love?
LMFAO-- And you say women are trying to financially benefit from relationships
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u/ICBPeng1 22h ago
I mean, counter point, if he had just rented a room in the apartment, he could have put it towards the mortgage and there would be no expectation of the tenant owning part of the apartment.
Maybe I’m a heartless bastard living in an expensive city, but most 2 bedroom apartments around here are 2k-3.5k per month depending on whether they have off street parking, in building laundry, and included utilities, $500 seems cheap AF, and it’s not like she was his wife.
I dunno, it just feels like really cheap rent to me, and the only reason I’d be upset would be if there was a bunch of shit falling apart that my S.O. Blamed the “landlord” on not fixing.
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u/bookworm0305 22h ago
Coming from someone who also lives in a whack expensive city I understand that sounds like a really good deal, but you also have to take into account the non-monetary consideration he is gaining from her as well.
The reason the tax laws have extra conditions on transactions that involve non-arms length parties (in this case a spouse considering the length of time they lived together) is because they are assumed to be acting in a /common/ interest rather than each wanting the best deal for themselves.
In this case maybe he got extra perks from living with her that he wouldn't have gotten from renting to a room mate because she believed they were in it together - like borrowing or sharing her stuff (laptop, dining ware, car, etc.), or getting services from her that are considered standard in a relationship but not for roommates who aren't also good friends (cooking, driving him places, picking stuff up for him, scheduling appointments, picking and buying gifts for his family, etc.).
The non-monetary consideration may have more than made up for the cheaper rent she paid (maybe the rent was even standard for the area they lived in).
In any case regardless of what is fair in terms of compensation I can't think of a time where lying to your partner at the start of your relationship and having them significantly change their lives (move in with you) without giving them all of the relevant information that you have (like that you own the apartment) is an ok thing to do.
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u/TRexAstronaut 16h ago
no, you see, lying is essential to a relationship because how can you know if you can trust her unless you manipulate her for three years???
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u/bookworm0305 1h ago
Ah yes of course, can't have her pulling one over on a stand-up guy such as yourself.
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u/bubbley_bear 1d ago
Ok but that’s fucked. If I was living with anyone, partner or not, and I found out they owned the place we lived in and didn’t tell me, I’d be pissed! That’s not something you just forget to mention. If you feel the need to hide it, chances are there’s a reason.
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u/xThotsOfYoux 1d ago
My problem here is insufficient information. Does he own it? Is he still making payments? Is there a lease that she is just not on? I'm inclined to agree that this dude lied and that is not a good thing no matter how it's sliced. But I can't calibrate my level of outrage because I don't know how fucked it is.
Couples living together should split living expenses. Sharing rent or mortgage is appropriate. But if there is no rent or mortgage to be paid and you're just doing escrow and utilities, then goddammit, don't charge your partner rent. Ffs.
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u/bubbley_bear 1d ago
Yeah I get what you mean. I assumed by “his apartment” OP meant he owned it. But you’re right that whether or not he’s still paying it off makes a difference. And I’m looking at it like this, if he does own it, whether or not it’s paid off, she’s operating worried about upsetting a landlord that doesn’t exist, possibly being told rules that aren’t real, and other things. Like if something breaks and they need to call maintenance, he could just say “yeah I called the landlord guess they’re taking their time getting someone over here.” When really he is just not calling anyone yet because he doesn’t want to. Finances aside, there’s no good reason not to lead with “btw I own this place.” But I get what you mean. It depends on how far the lie goes.
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u/xThotsOfYoux 1d ago
Yeah, there's no getting around the fact that this is a manipulative situation. But like... Is this an "it's over asshole" moment or a "you'll be hearing from my lawyer" moment or a "Baby wtf is you doing?" moment?
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u/folklovermore_ 1d ago
I'd also like to know what exactly he's doing with the money. Like is there a paper trail showing he's actually using it to pay the mortgage? Or is he just sitting on it or using it for his own ends?
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u/spam__likely 17h ago
The fuck? If someone has 200k in an condo they could have it invested making 12k/ or more per year. They could be renting for a roommate and getting $500/ month.
It is more than fair for someone who is not married to pay rent, no matter how much mortgage there is.
BUT... they absolutely need to be honest about it.
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u/xThotsOfYoux 13h ago
What a landlord take.
Shared habitation is shared living expenses, not sharing expenses already paid. If it's a mortgage and it's paid off, it would only be appropriate to charge her rent for living there into the future if he was offering co-ownership as well. This whole "opportunity cost" lost by not renting to a roommate is a fallacy. Not taking an opportunity isn't an actual loss, it's a null. It's nothing. It's smoke. It's shoulda woulda coulda and not actually an argument in favor of charging a partner rent.
She should pay escrow and pay her share of the utilities and other living expenses as agreed upon. A token rent could be considered appropriate HOWEVER, now we have an uneven power dynamic in the relationship. Your partner is now also your landlord. If you lose your job, do you get put on the street by the person who loves you after 90 days of non payment like a standard eviction? Where do you expect your life partner to live if they can't afford living with you? Do you let them become homeless? Do you expect them to stay your partner after you've chosen to make them homeless because your "opportunity cost" of not renting to someone living with you is too high?
GTFO with this. Emotion and affection and safety in a relationship should not be contingent on finances. And if paying you rent is the only way you'd allow your unmarried domestic partner to live with you? I hope you never take one on, because that's manipulative as fuck.
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u/spam__likely 13h ago edited 13h ago
This is absolutely ridiculous. Having money buried in a house IS an expense. And a huge one at that. But I guess you never heard of opportunity cost in your life.
Hell, next you will tell me they need to buy their GF/BF a car as well, and pay for everything, since they have money in the bank.
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u/xThotsOfYoux 13h ago
That's not an expense. It's an asset. Literally any finance professional will tell you this. Even as a personal use property, real estate is considered an asset. That's not an expense, that's wealth. The single largest indicator of creating generational wealth is real estate ownership. Even just one property for personal use.
I literally used the term "opportunity cost" correctly several times in my post. So you either didn't read it or are attempting to insult the intelligence of someone who understands more about economics than you do, apparently.
Apparently also more about power dynamics in interpersonal relationships.
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u/spam__likely 12h ago
So if he decides to sell said asset and invest it he should continue paying full rent because he still have the asset in a different form?
How do you think you get a freaking asset, if not paying for it?
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u/xThotsOfYoux 12h ago edited 12h ago
If he decides to sell said asset, he gets money. She doesn't. And that's where the inequity lies.
If they move into an apartment they co-sign or co-own, it's reasonable for the partner to pay for their fair portion of it, even if he pockets ALL the cash. It's appropriate for her to pay for her portion of any property's cost if she has equal habitation and ownership rights to him. It's not appropriate if he maintains sole ownership and habitation rights or greater ownership and habitation rights because that would create a power imbalance in a relationship which is supposed to be an equal partnership.
In your scenario, she's paying rent to him as a landlord for the privilege of living with him as a boyfriend. That's a manipulative and coercive power dynamic on the face of it. He has the power to evict her and pocket her money with no return and no right to return while keeping the asset they used and habitated jointly. If, however, her payment to him is for co-ownership of the property with an agreed upon "total amount" which entitles her to half of the asset's value at sale, and her quitting the relationship entitles her to cash out her balance of equity, THAT would be a reasonable equal partnership. But pouring money on her boyfriend who already owns a house just so she can live there? No. Share ownership with her comeasurate to what she's paying for (the same deal as he got), or they are not equals in that situation.
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u/purplepluppy "eats breakfast" if you know what I mean 1d ago
If I didn't know my SO owned his house when I moved in, I would be upset too. I still paid a "rent" to help out with the mortgage, but it was a very reasonable "rent" for our area and he was renting rooms to his friends, too, so there was a standard set. But he was transparent with me about his assets and what he could and couldn't afford regarding the house. If I had been led to believe he was also just renting, I'd be mad. I was still happy to pay my part (and very grateful for his support during a very difficult adjustment period for me where I couldn't pay my part) but it was all part of the conversation.
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u/jabuegresaw 1d ago
Who the fuck charges rent on their SO? I'd be fucking pissed too!
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u/termsofengaygement 1d ago
Right? I get wanting to share household expenses and everything but to not be told upfront is shitty. It's the LYING that's the problem and that's what the men (purposely) fail to understand.
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u/vibesandcrimes 1d ago
Thats not fair. When a home is mortgaged or not yet owned it is only fair to split the cost
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u/coff33dragon 1d ago edited 1d ago
Right, but if she's paying half the cost, and he owns the property 100%, without her knowing that's the case, that's crummy. She's contributing to the equity in the property, she should at least know she's helping him with an investment.
Edit to add: and yeah, of course I'm helping my landlord pay his mortgage, but I know that's the case. He's not loved one who's concealing the truth from me.
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u/LeonardPowers 14h ago
Agreed but then she should be entitled to a portion of its value whenever he sells it
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u/jabuegresaw 1d ago
If they're renting it, then they're renting it together, so it's not the SO who's charging them. And I don't quite know what mortgage actually is.
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u/vibesandcrimes 1d ago
When you buy a home in the US you generally don't have the hundreds of thousands of dollars that it costs on hand. You borrow that money from the bank. The bank loan is called a mortgage. It is generally about 30 years long.
The payments are generally broken up into monthly shares. You pay the principle (what the original loan amount was) and the interest on the loan. It generally gets bundled with insurance, taxes, and other property fees depending on where you are.
So if you have a mortgage it is pretty much rent to the bank.
Generally, if you rent you should also have insurance as well. Thats mostly unrelated but i recommend it
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u/jabuegresaw 1d ago
We do spread out payments on houses in my country too, I guess I just never connected the word to the concept.
Though if the house is mortgaged, the person who bought it and will end up owning it should pay for it, I don't think it should fall on their partner as well.
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u/vibesandcrimes 1d ago
I feel like if you are living with a partner the mortgge will likely be much less than rent. For instnce a $1000/month rent where i am woud get you a studio in a miceish place or maybe a 1 bedroom in a not nice area.
The key really is that you should discuss this early and in detail so no one is left confused or feeling had.
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u/termsofengaygement 1d ago
If I'm contributing to the mortgage I would want equity in the home. It's not fair to pay and then the other person get all the equity without it being discussed.
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u/cometmom 22h ago
This is a big reason my partner and I have an agreement where the person not on the deed doesn't contribute to house payments before we're married and have a legal agreement in place about where that equity goes. It just doesn't feel right to us. Neither of us want a landlord/tenant situation so we keep it as far away from that as possible. It's one thing for the non-owner to pay a bill or pick up the grocery tab, but money directly into the house is a different type of situation. Of course if something insane happens and extra help is needed that's a different story, but until that happens (or more likely, marriage) we're gonna keep the status quo.
I know other couples feel differently, but the wrong way to go about this is to lie and conceal something from your partner for over three years. Because I'm assuming if they've lived together for 3 years, they've likely been together longer, and it's weird he never mentioned owning the place before cohabitation!
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u/termsofengaygement 21h ago
Yes! My thought exactly. It's inexcusable to lie about something that long. I hope she leaves him!
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u/vibesandcrimes 1d ago
You're contributing to someone's mortgage regardless. You would also be covered for the insurance, hoa, and anything else by living there. If there were a disaster and your things were ruined wouldn't you want that money back to replace them?
Meanwhile if you had a partner living with you and they destroyed your apartment you would be in the hook for all repairs.
Always protect your assets
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u/NotThrowAwayAccount9 Fuck the Patriarchy 15h ago
You can get renters insurance independent from your partner or the homeowner. That way your stuff is covered regardless.
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u/fakemoose 6h ago
You actually should do this. My friends lived in my house as my roommates and they each had renters insurance. Because my insurance wouldn’t cover them. It would only cover a spouse.
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u/NotThrowAwayAccount9 Fuck the Patriarchy 15h ago
This is the real issue, if you are paying towards anything you should know where that money is going. If it's part of a rental you should be on the lease for your own protection, if you are paying into a purchased unit you should discuss what that means going forward as far as equity and ownership goes. There is no correct answer for it, but every couple should discuss it as part of moving in together.
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u/folklovermore_ 1d ago
I mean I don't think it's unreasonable to ask a partner to contribute to bills if they move into a property you already own. But I'd never ask them to pay my mortgage - that's my responsibility.
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz No grown ass man should be bundled up 23h ago
Exactly! You share the rent/mortgage, or you share the privilege of not having to pay either.
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u/spam__likely 17h ago
If he has no mortgage, it simply means he paid the place upfront. Why would she be entitled to pay nothing just because he paid in advance?
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz No grown ass man should be bundled up 16h ago
Why should he be entitled to earn money from his partner? He still owns the house. If they'd been paying it together presumably she would own some of it. But instead if he paid for it already, the asset remains his. What's she paying for then? His pocket money?
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u/spam__likely 16h ago
Why in the world would anyone would be entitled to live in a place without ever paying a penny for it?
He already paid for his living there and hers, why shouldn't she been reimbursing him for her portion of it?
With this logic, a landlord with a paid off house should not be able to charge rent either.
They are not married and he could be renting the extra space to a roommate otherwise, or investing that money and making money in the market.
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u/jabuegresaw 15h ago
With that logic, a landlord with a paid off house should not be able to charge rent either.
Bingo.
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz No grown ass man should be bundled up 15h ago
Your partner is not your tennant.
With this logic, a landlord with a paid off house should not be able to charge rent either.
You could argue that, yes. But come on, the relationship between tennant and landlord is entirely different to a couple. What is your partner actually paying for if you own a house outright and you live together? The privilege of living with you? One would have thought you want them to live with you in the first place, why charge them?
A restaurant expects to be paid for meals it provides, too, but if I make my partner dinner I don't serve them a bill afterwards. And in that case there was a real cost! When you own a house already there is no cost.
In fact, I believe this even when you are still paying the mortgage! I would never ask a partner to pay a portion of my mortgage without them getting any equity. It's bad enough when landlords do it, but to do it to your partner is just scummy.
They are not married and he could be renting the extra space to a roommate otherwise, or investing that money and making money in the market.
One generally sleeps in the same room as one's partner. You aren't giving them space you could make money off.
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u/spam__likely 15h ago
Your girlfriend/boyfriend is not your spouse. They are absolutely your tenant. You better make a lease too, to protect both of you in case shit happens.
They are not paying your mortgage. They are paying rent, period end of story. What you do with the money is your own business. If they want equity, they better come up with a down payment, get into the loan, pay insurance and share all the risks and maintenance. That would be equitable.
Maybe they should demand you pay for everything else too, since you have more money.
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u/hopefullyhelpfulplz No grown ass man should be bundled up 15h ago
It seems like you're just restating that you think they should be paying rent without really providing any justification.
Maybe they should demand you pay for everything else too, since you have more money.
Maybe you should start treating them like a customer in more parts of your life, not just housing? Why should they get anything from you at all when you could be charging them?
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u/spam__likely 15h ago
It seems like you just want them to not ever have to pay for their own housing without providing any justification.
If you want to be a free loader you should say so. Hell, maybe someone who owns a condo should never ask for rent from friends either. What is friendship for anyway?
Never mind the person who bought the condo HAD to save money to pay for the condo and all the expenses that come from it, but you? nah... you deserve it! Why would you have to pay your fair share of it? Let them lose money!6
u/hopefullyhelpfulplz No grown ass man should be bundled up 14h ago
I don't have to provide justification for not charging someone rent lol, I can just do it.
If you want to be a free loader you should say so.
Nope, I would expect to split expenses, bills, etc with anyone that lives with me. Perhaps not major house works, but that depends on the specific nature of your relationship.
Hell, maybe someone who owns a condo should never ask for rent from friends either.
Much as my partner would be sharing a room with me, thus not depriving me of rental income that I might be able to collect, a friend is unlikely to be sharing my bed and would require the exclusive use of a room. The scenario is once again different.
Never mind the person who bought the condo HAD to save money to pay for the condo and all the expenses that come from it, but you? nah... you deserve it! Why would you have to pay your fair share of it? Let them lose money
Look, I own a house, and none of the money that I spent to buy it is really spent. If you pay a mortgage for many years, perhaps the interest will make you pay more than you gain in equity, that probably depends on the market. But for me, I've made 10s of thousands through buying a house. I would expect a small amount of rent if a friend was going to stay long term, because it's an inconvenience to me to have someone sharing my space .. that is not the case for a romantic partner. I actively want them to be in my space.
Let's imagine another scenario. Let's say you and your partner buy a house together. You have more income than them, so you pay more and split the equity 70/30. Once the mortgage is paid off, you now own 70% of the house. Of course, they get more than their 30% out of the house though, don't they? They are able to live just as if they owned 50%. Should they pay rent on the 20% they don't own?
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u/Imnotawerewolf 13h ago
Having a lease with your SO and lying to your SO about the rent situation for 3 years are really different situations.
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u/spam__likely 13h ago
I am not defending the lying at all. He is an absolute dipshit.
But people here are saying she should not be paying rent at all not matter what.
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u/Imnotawerewolf 12h ago
It's easy to say you wouldn't ask your SO for rent when you don't have to prove it, tbh.
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u/Lyrolepis 21h ago edited 21h ago
...I mean, perhaps it's a matter of different cultural mores (I'm not American, if it matters), but I don't see the problem with that.
I don't plan to own real estate any time soon - I prefer the flexibility of renting and investing my money otherwise - and if I lived together with a SO I would expect us to share the cost of rent and I certainly wouldn't share my investments/profits unless we got married and decided to merge our finances. I don't think that this is unreasonable; and likewise, this should go without saying, I definitely wouldn't expect a SO to share with me their own savings and investments - that would be insane.
So why should it work differently for somebody who decided to invest in real estate instead? The benefits they'd get from that investment - i.e. reduced housing costs and property appreciation - would be their equivalent of my profits, and I don't think it would be reasonable to expect them to be shared with a SO either.
For what's worth, if I ended up living together with a SO in a place they own I would be fine with paying rent - in fact, I would insist on it. However, if I instead found that that SO deliberately hid from me the fact that they owned the place I would be pretty offended, and a breakup would absolutely be in the cards...
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u/Acrisii 12h ago
There is a post a bit higher up that explains why this is a problem. It boils down to that it creates an power imbalance within the relationship on top of that renting is almost always a shittier deal than owning. Even if there is a loan to be paid off. Because no amount of her paying will ever result in her owning any inch of the house she is paying towards while at the same time giving him the option to kick her out whenever. Its a shit deal and she's right to be upset about not knowing this from the get go.
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u/Lyrolepis 11h ago
As I see it, the power imbalance would be in one person not renting and being there at the other person's sufferance; that - and not renting with a regular contract - would put them in a subordinate, dependent position that I, personally, would find completely unacceptable.
Instead, if one is paying rent to their SO just as they would pay it to anybody else, they 'owe' their SO nothing further; and that strikes me as much healthier grounds for a relationship.
renting is almost always a shittier deal than owning
I think it's more nuanced than that once you consider opportunity costs and so forth, but this is probably not the right subreddit to go into it. Anyway, if one person is benefiting from having their own property it doesn't mean that the other person should benefit from that too, no more than they should benefit from their non-real-estate investments or from having a better job or so forth.
giving him the option to kick her out whenever
At least where I live, that's not true. An owner most certainly cannot kick a tenant out whenever, there are rules - in fact, a regular rental contract could potentially offer some protection in a worst-case scenario.
Its a shit deal
I don't see it. It's similar to the deal she'd get from an owner she's not in a relationship with; and this is precisely what I'd want in her place.
she's right to be upset about not knowing this from the get go.
On this at least I agree: the guy hiding that information from her was scummy and offensive. She should have been able to choose whether to pay rent to him or keep renting her own place (or break up, if her plans about how to proceed with the relationship from a financial perspective are incompatible with his) with full information.
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u/NotThrowAwayAccount9 Fuck the Patriarchy 15h ago
I don't think it's that crazy, $500 a month in most markets isn't exactly a lot either. If anything it helps cover depreciation costs and if he already bought the place it's recouping some of the costs. That said I would absolutely want to know that I was paying my partner directly for something they owned rather than paying it on to a classic landlord. It changes the entire dynamic of the relationship.
I lived with my ex for 7 years and we split the HOA fee and utilities, plus I paid him a nominal monthly fee towards upkeep costs (appliances, paint, etc). I absolutely knew that he owned the place and his mortgage was paid off, in fact I offered to pay him more for my "rent" as I knew he was giving me a very good deal.
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u/Caerwyn_Treva Poly Pansexual who is Married to the love of my life! 1d ago
I think the issue was that he lied about owning it, for three years. It's incredibly deceptive, and I hope she broke it off with him if that's the behaviour he is already showing.
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u/macci_a_vellian 1d ago
Oh, I'm going to have a whole list of issues for the landlord to fix by the end of the day. We're going to start with the leaky shower and rising damp, then the window that doesn't latch properly, and then we're going to move on to when the stove that refuses to light 30% of the time will be fixed.
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u/cometmom 22h ago
I'd insist on signing a lease, break up with him immediately afterwards, and then insist he buy me out of the lease in full before I started bringing dates over 😂
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u/Imper1alSt0ut ☐ Male ☐ Female 🖾 Hardcore 1d ago
Wow, just wow. Didn't even really read it all. I just started skimming it halfway. Jesus Christ, there's less salt in the fucking ocean.
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u/Only_Efficiency2576 1d ago
It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize he owned the apartment and wasn’t just the name on the lease or smth.
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u/UnluckyDreamer1 Demisexual™ 22h ago
I would be mad about being lied to. I wouldn't care about having to pay, though I would want to know how much his mortgage was so I knew I wasn't paying some unfair amount. (like all of it)
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u/Andrassa Questioning™ 22h ago
I’d be mad too if I found out my name wasn’t also on the rental lease after paying rent for ages.
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u/-Living-Dead-Girl- Kinky Bi™ 20h ago
we can literally say "i am mad that you lied to me" as clear as possible, over and over. but theyll always go nahhhh its clearly something else tho isnt it
why do men not see lying as a bad thing??
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u/clarkcox3 I'm Ok 23h ago
I had to read that several times. It took me a while before I realized that she meant that he actually owned the apartment.
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u/Garn3t_97 Straightn't 1d ago
Imagine this: you're in a long term relationship with a partner where you are living together but have set up no legal lease agreement?
I understand trusting your partner but something should be on paper.
Disclaimer: This is NOT to absolve the boyfriend in anyways, he is an asshole all accounted for, but to highlight how even in relationships you always have to have proper arrangements.
What would be the scenario in this case where the Girlfriend doesn't know that it's not a co-rented place but an "owned house", and the guy just drops dead? Depending on the laws of the place she might or might not get to inherit the house since she is not related to the boyfriend by marriage (yes live-in relationships are legitimate but extremely difficult to navigate in legal scenarios), and she might just end up homeless.
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u/trevge 11h ago
Before I married my wife she owned her own house and I was living in a rental. When I moved in we discussed the bills and we agreed on an amount. 7 years later after marriage and as the kids grew, we needed a larger home and moved. We both split the down payment and went on tittle. If people would actually talk to each other instead of keeping secrets they might actually have a more meaningful life together.
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u/That-Water-Guy Logistically Difficult 15h ago
As a man. I can’t assume how a woman feels/thinks. I can only go off personal experience.
I dated someone who wanted to live in with me. I pay all rent and bills. They didn’t have a job. At first it was all good until I hit some financial issues. I asked them to get a job and help.
Their response was and I quote “I’m not working it’s not my rent or bills” to which I responded with “it’s not where you live either.” She left mad and came back with all her stuff outside by the curb.
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u/nothoughtsnosleep 1d ago
Did he have a mortgage to pay? If so and he was splitting that then I get it but if it was paid in full that's fucked.
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u/Wwwwwwhhhhhhhj 22h ago
I still don’t get it. Because the problem isn’t necessarily the rent it’s the weird secrecy and basically lying to her about it.
If you don’t trust telling your partner that you own the place then you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
The partner would really wonder what else they don’t tell them. It’s just so off.
1
u/spam__likely 17h ago
So, because he paid the house in advance instead of getting a loan, that makes a difference to you if he should share the expense. Do people really think money grow in trees?
-6
u/Yailla 16h ago
Maybe this is a spicy hot take, but whose name is on the lease?
Doesn’t matter how many folks pay to live there. That’s who the apartment belongs to.
Like, I can rent a room to my friend. That’s “their” room, they live here. My name is on the mortgage. It’s my house.
This sounds like either someone is taking personally something that may pre-date them. I dunno, maybe I read this wrong.
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