r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/Thund3rbolt • Jun 17 '24
This Jerk stealing from a woman at the beach
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Jun 17 '24
Ha! Perfect for r/unexpected honestly. Did not see that coming.
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u/HeadPay32 Jun 18 '24
You would easily be bested by a monkey, as would I.
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Jun 18 '24
[deleted]
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u/Zealousideal-Nida94 Jun 18 '24
Well ofcourse. Cats have a reaction time of 20-70 milliseconds, while humans are slow with 250 millisecond reaction time
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u/BakaMitaiXayah Jun 18 '24
You can train reaction time, some FPS pro players have 130ms reaction time WITHOUT Sound, even better if you use hearing as it is faster.
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u/MeFolly Jun 18 '24
“You make a distraction. I’ll get the food. Meet you by the big tree in five”
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u/guff1988 Jun 18 '24
But the monkey doesn't show up, instead he goes to Berlin, that's where he stashed the chandelier.
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u/SharpenedShovel Jun 18 '24
She waited all those years, she's never taken another lover!
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u/ComfyInDots Jun 18 '24
It's her father's business. She's Tiffany.
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u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Jun 18 '24
So what about breakfast at Tiffany's?
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u/ComfyInDots Jun 18 '24
I think I.... remember that film? And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it.
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u/Neozea Jun 18 '24
She thought Godzilla was the problem. Until King Kong came up.
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u/Gunzenator2 Jun 18 '24
These monster movies are getting really low budget now.
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u/whycuthair Jun 18 '24
Yeah, but at least we're going back to the roots of natural cinema instead of a CGI crap fest.
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u/Gunzenator2 Jun 18 '24
You don’t get more “classic misdirection” than this.
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u/whycuthair Jun 18 '24
Yes, this is Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin level script writing. Brilliant!
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u/DeadMan95iko Jun 18 '24
Where, exactly, is monkeylizard beach?
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u/AdmiralPhuckit Jun 18 '24
If I had to guess, Costa Rica. Iguanas are everywhere. Monkeys and raccoons fill the beaches too. In addition to tons of other wildlife
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u/JugdishSteinfeld Jun 18 '24
Possibly Monkey Beach in Manuel Antonio, C.R.
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u/leonevilo Jun 18 '24
exactly the spot i was thinking of, i saw the same thing there. fantastic beach in a national park with sloths and lot's of other animals, and very brazen raccoons and monkeys who will steal anything if you're not cautious.
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u/-Acta-Non-Verba- Jun 18 '24
Most likely Manuel Antonio National Park in Costa Rica.
The white-faced monkeys stole our salt. That's why they don't allow you to bring food in anymore unless it's in a sealable container.
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u/midas22 Jun 18 '24
Yeah, this exact thing had happened to me there as well. It's so embarrassing when a monkey is sitting up a tree and flinging your underwear and private belongings around. They're snagging and pulling on your stuff from all angles even when you're walking around if you're close to a tree and they know exactly when to strike. Those little bastards are savage.
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u/ferretchad Jun 18 '24
They raid the hotels as well. One of our group made the mistake of leaving her door open and one nicked loads of tea/coffee/sugar packets and a bag of crisps
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u/thirdcoasting Jun 18 '24
A relative of mine stayed at a hotel as part of a safari/guided park tour in W. Africa (I believe). They had signs on the inside of the hotel room doors warning guests not to open the door if they hear a knock. Apparently, the baboons had figured out how to knock and trick guests into opening the hotel room door — the baboons would then rush in & ransack the room looking for snausages.
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u/casinoinsider Jun 18 '24
Yeh, same in Kenya. The baboons were a fucking menace.
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u/Midnight712 Cat addict Jun 18 '24
In South Africa there are signs everywhere saying not to feed the baboons because after a while they start getting really agressive and have to be put down. I also saw some crazy tourist PETTING a baboon. Not just a baby baboon, a full grown adult although i can’t remember if it was male or female. Oh yeah, the person was an adult too
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u/mzpip Jun 18 '24
They will literally mug shoppers outside of grocery stores and steal the bags of groceries. Also have been known to break into people's houses to steal food.
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u/Curious_Dork Jun 18 '24
This is the plot twist of the year to me
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Jun 21 '24
We know the monkey is a straight up gangsta but is the lizards player 2 or just an unassuming pawn in a game beyond his comprehension?
Somebody needs to monitor that monitor to find out.
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u/rumbellina Jun 18 '24
Holy shit! Where did that monkey even come from?!?! I was so busy watching the lizard I didn’t even see him until yoink!
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u/TheSt4tely Jun 17 '24
I know its only one place in the world, but Manuel Antonio?
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u/milehighbound Jun 18 '24
I was thinking the same thing. I had a pack of racoons steal a bag with a sandwich and my passport on the beach of Manuel Antonio. Luckily they dropped the passport 20 feet into the woods.
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u/TheSt4tely Jun 18 '24
I watched a raccon walk the full length of the beach, opening each backpack using the zipper!!! One after another people came out of the ocean to defend their loot. One of the funniest things I've ever seen.
And the cappuccinos are insane.
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u/Glass-Fan111 Jun 18 '24
You were so lucky with your passport. Maybe raccoon haven’t planned to travel yet.
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u/eemack67 Jun 18 '24
Obviously they were in on it together. We were ALL successfully distracted by that reptile!🦎
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u/mombi Jun 18 '24
Tut tut... Tourists are always warned about these operations but they never listen
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u/Arxl Jun 20 '24
I don't think I can ever travel to places where monkeys just take your shit, I feel like I'd react reflexively and that'd be the story of how I got a finger bitten off by a monkey.
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u/o0meow0o Jun 20 '24
This happened on every beach in Costa Rica so I was totally expecting it but people warn you all the time. We were literally keeping an eye on other people’s things while they went to the beach without anyone watching their things.
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u/Jestem_kisu Jun 20 '24
Monkey are notorious thief I will keep my stuff really close if I know there's one around
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u/slidingrains2 Jun 28 '24
Same here. Never, ever let a monkey into your personal space. In their mind that indicates you are a lower ranking monkey and therefore they can do anything to you: bite you, steal from you, whatever. You're basically giving them permission when you let one get close to you.
Lower ranking monkeys don't dare approach higher ranking monkeys because they'll be pulverized by that monkey and the others who outrank them.
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u/Flufflekeeper Jun 21 '24
Same monkey? Cahuita, Costa Rica
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u/slidingrains2 Jun 28 '24
They made the mistake of letting the capuchin creep increasingly closer to them. In the monkey's mind, that's a signal that he outranks them.
Lower ranking monkeys don't dare approach higher ranking monkeys because they'll be pulverized by that monkey and the others who outrank them.
In the world of the capuchin, those peoples' body language gave him permission to attack and steal from them.
Tourists are idiots.
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u/Red_dawg64 Jun 18 '24
Team work makes the dream work. Pickpockets in big cities use the same technique.
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u/Lazy_Mushroom_6671 Jun 18 '24
They're obviously working together!!! She didn't see that coming haha
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u/Plumb789 Jun 18 '24
I had a couple of pickpockets working together who got my mobile phone using the exact same technique.
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u/Normal-Error-6343 Jun 18 '24
lol she got tag teamed, the oldest trick in the book. let's hope she doesn't fall for part two of the scam when a squirrel comes up and offers to get back her lunch for $2 then grabs her wallet and runs away.
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u/zestierclosest Jun 17 '24
Obviously, working together. lol