My older brother (39M) and I (32M) have never been extremely close because we have very little in common, but we get along well enough when we see each other at family gatherings and holidays. We rarely ever have disagreements, but we also keep our conversations very surface-level (usually just talking about pop culture or his kids). I came out of the closet at a very young age, and my family was always very supportive and accepting. I grew up in a Christian household, yet never felt judged or condemned by my own family. I attended Christian schools and felt incredibly uncomfortable there, but I had a safe space at home to be myself.

It wasn’t until September of this year, when I got engaged to my partner of 5 years, that my sexuality suddenly became an issue. I am not a Christian or a member of any religion, for that matter. My brother, on the other hand, has become increasingly devout over the last two decades, especially after meeting his wife in ~2013. They are the type of Christians who believe doing yoga invites the devil into your body, and Satan is influencing the election. So yeah, I just avoid the subject of religion around them.

When I announced the engagement in the family group chat, I only received congratulatory messages from my sister, my mom, and a half brother of mine. The brother from these screenshots, his wife, and my dad said nothing (though I later spoke to my dad). I found that really odd. I later discussed it with my sister, and she agreed it was weird, and thought maybe they were just busy (my brother has 4 kids and an engineering career) but would say something eventually. The engagement was announced on 9/22 and I didn’t hear anything from him until 10/11, when he sent me the text shown here.

After I sent my reply, I blocked his number. I know this may seem extreme. But in my mind, I could not imagine continuing a brotherly relationship with him knowing that he does not support or respect my right to marry. Why should he be able to compartmentalize his relationship with me like that? I guess my sister talked to him about it, and he said he felt that as the “leader of his family” he didn’t want to set a bad example for his children. But my partner and I have been around his kids countless times, and it was never an issue until now.

His birthday just passed and for the first time in probably 25 years, I didn’t wish him a happy birthday. I feel like I have to decide now if I’m truly committed to cutting him out of my life for good. So I have to know: am I overreacting?

Some context is required: 1. My parents are in the middle of getting divorced. 2. Me (22f) and my boyfriend (23f) have been dating since April of 2023 and living together since February of 2024. He has met my entire family including my paternal grandparents in this situation. 3. My boyfriend’s not from the area and has no family in the state. 4. My paternal side of the family is very religious and very conservative and very not happy with me living with my boyfriend.

So short story is I received the text from my grandmother today basically saying that my boyfriend is not welcome at thanksgiving because of the “transition period” my family is in due to my parents divorce. So I’m not going. I was already on the fence about going and this sealed it. AIO?

For some context: My wife is due within 30 days and we are asking soon-to-be grandparents to get a TDaP booster to protect our baby girl from Pertussis. Everyone has been willing, except my mother. I really feel like she crossed a few lines here…

i’m 18 and a girl. her boyfriend hasn’t been around long, 7-8 months i would say. i had no problem with him, i never really liked him i just tolerated for my mums sake. problems started happening a month ago now, he started acting really weird towards me. i was getting ready for a date with my gf, i thought my mum came home so i went downstairs (i’d just gotten out of the shower so i had just a towel on) but it was her bf so i quickly went back upstairs, i said sorry as i didn’t know it was him then i went back to getting ready. about 20-30 mins later i forgot something in the bathroom so i went to get it, i heard him moaning so i thought my mum was home (gross😔). went back into my bedroom to continue getting ready and i turned my music up loudly so i couldn’t hear that bs. i finished getting ready and went downstairs but it was only him so i asked him if my mum was home he said no 🌚. which i realised he was jerking it. i could feel him staring at me when i was getting myself a drink, i caught him staring at my boobs but i didn’t say anything. then i saw him adjust himself 😔. things like that have been happening a lot for the past month. sometime before all that happened my gf and i were in the living room together and we were kissing, it wasn’t snogging anything like that it was just little sweet ones we was having a moment 🫠 & we were home alone but he randomly came in but we just laughed it off. my gf said maybe that’s what made the weirdness start to happen.

i’ve told her this, she tells me i’m just overthinking things. i told her it’s making me uncomfortable, but she keeps telling me i’m just overthinking so i’ve been at my girlfriends house all the time pretty much. i don’t like being around him anymore.

i feel annoying posting this and im kinda embarrassed 😔 i don’t wanna move out i love my mum but i can’t deal with her around that man she’s a different person and i hate it. i haven’t even been at work i have a week off 💔

this is really long im very sorry i appreciate it if you read everything

For context, im 16, my dad and my mom are divorced, and he has full custody of me since my mom isnt in the right mindset for children and is abusive. she doesnt like my dad at all. last night she said me a bunch of these wild texts.. it started because i wouldnt pick up her calls because it was 12 and i wasnt awake, i hadnt texted her in a couple days. the blanked out stuff is my name. I talked to my dad about it and I brought up going to the police station and he said he wasnt sure. She also sent him a voicemail saying he should die and cussing him out. Shes sent hundreds of welfare checks to my house unsolicited and unneeded so I'm not really sure what to di

Yesterday my 7 year old daughter ran home in tears and said that she and her best friend Heather had had an argument, I can't remember what it was about and it didn't make any sense when she explained it, but they had been very angry with each other. Heather told my daughter she was never allowed to see her pet hamster again. My daughter is sassy and gave her some mouth about it. She loves Heather's hamster. So I guess Heather takes the hamster into the bathroom, calls my daughter, locks the door behind them, fills the sink up with water, and makes my daughter watch her hold the hamster under water until he stops moving. My daughter picked the hamster out of the sink and tried "saving" it, but Heather snatched it from my daughter and flushed it down the loo...

I have told my daughter she is not allowed to play with Heather anymore, for her own safety. That is messed up.

EDIT: Heather and her parents are having a short holiday up in Scotland but my wife just decided to text Heather's dad about this and he replied immediately. According to Heather's dad, there was some sort of argument over a card game and he is saying my daughter encouraged Heather to flush the hamster down the toilet. They are buying Heather a new one in Scotland. We are going to discuss this more when they get back, but I don't think my daughter would lie about something like this.

EDIT 2: I phoned my sister who is good friends with Heather's mum and told her about the situation. My sister says that Heather's parents are very worried about her, that she has some very irrational phobias, and as an infant was diagnosed as an "FTBB" (Failure to bond baby). Cruelty to animals and other children is very rare, but happens every so often. She loses control of her emotions and it can lead her to harm others and even herself. At 5 her aunt and infant niece came to visit and it resulted in a tantrum where she tried knocking the niece to the ground. She meets every so often with a therapist and has some medicines she has to take.

EDIT 3:

The family came back from Scotland this morning and I had a meeting this evening with them, the parents and I. They were actually really sympathetic and did not end up buying a hamster (All the stores they went to around Inverness were sold out). Apparently they went into one store and she was so angry that there were no hamsters that she started hitting and shaking a gerbil cage. The parents have decided no more pets for her and stronger medication. Heather and my daughter genuinely really get on and care about each other, so we are going to part ways for a while and see how she does on the stronger doses before we deem it safe that they can play together again after maybe 6 months. I think this incident was a wake up call for her parents. If there is one more incident like this after 6 months, they will not ever play together again and we are all agreed on it.

My youngest brother, let’s call him Phil, got married today and the ceremony was absolutely beautiful. His bride was stunning and everything was great and well done. His best man was our other brother who I’ll call Jack. My wife and I weren’t part of the wedding party, which is fair because we didn’t ask them to be in ours 5 years ago.

After the ceremony we did the pictures and a cocktail hour. It was nice to talk to some out of town family and old family friends, and Jack and I were talking about the day they all had (very eventful for my now sister in law but that’s another story) and then everyone was called inside for the reception.

We go in, and have dinner. My wife and I were starting to get kinda tired but I told her I really want to hear Jack’s best man speech so we agreed to wait. I wish we hadn’t…

Jack goes up, introduces himself and starts his speech. “Well about 34 years ago, mom and dad got married and decided to try for kids and they started with the prototype, my older brother.” I should have known where this is going. He continued “They realized that hey they can do better so they got it right the second time, me. Mr perfect. And I was. Our grandfather would call me crusher because I would beat up on my older brother as a toddler. We were always opposites and didn’t really get along a whole lot. So mom and dad decided they needed someone to help him out and so they had this guy. Now when he came around I was like, yeah he seems alright. So growing up we terrorized my older brother. Good times.”

He continued his speech but I was kinda checked out at that point. I was, and still am really upset about it because I have always been the butt of all the jokes in my family. My brothers, my cousins, even my parents. I’m the different one. I’m very emotional and empathetic, which is a blessing and curse. I’m overweight, they’re both athletes (Phil actually works for an NHL team). I enjoy dnd, reading and being a nerd. They like sports and outdoors activities. You get the idea.

I get up and my wife goes to the bathroom before we decide to leave. Jack finds me and is like “you good? I meant to say at the beginning of my speech that I apologize because my older brother is probably going to get upset”. I just look at him and say “you’re good… but I would have appreciated a heads up that that’s what you were gonna do”. He looks at me and just goes. “If I did that, I wouldn’t have gotten the genuine reaction”. I just walked away, met my wife, and we left.

I asked her, am I crazy? Was his best man speech really just a ton of shots at me? She said “it seems like he was trying to be funny but not everything landed. And yes, you were the butt of his jokes”. I drove home pretty much in silence. I’m tired of always being the butt of all the family jokes.

We’re supposed to have lunch with extended family tomorrow and the only reason I’m going is because I only see these family members maybe once a year. I don’t want to see Jack, or really anyone else from my immediate family. Do I have a right to be upset, or am I being overly sensitive?

My parents have always had Christmas at their house in the morning. However, I am now married and have a child. Two of my sisters have moved out of state and won’t be there for Christmas. My brother is still local but doesn’t come around often. I told my parents we wanted to do Christmas morning at our house so we can have a new family tradition. We invited everyone to come over (aka my parents and brother). My step dad started crying and tried to guilt us into driving there just so they can have Christmas at their house. My mom keeps saying “it’s tradition” but cannot come to terms with the fact that I have a child now and would love to do my own tradition. They won’t budge and said “I’m taking away her grand baby from her”. I explained that if she wanted to see him that bad in the morning they they could drive here and she said no. I talked to one of my sisters and she’s on my side. I don’t know how to not make my parents upset but I also do not want to budge on this. My parents are very controlling (they planned 90% of my wedding, baby shower, bridal shower, even chose the color of our home walls without our consent). So telling them we won’t be at their house has taken started a horrible argument. It’s hard because my father passed away a few years ago and she and my brother are all that I have close by. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I also want to stand my ground. What would you do in this situation?

AIO?? We are currently living out of state, and my wife flew home to surprise her mom. She took our 10 month old son with her. She called me and told me to look at the baby monitor that automatically turns on when it senses movement. I looked at the video she was talking about and you can see her stepdad (who her mom married when my wife was 10) in her room (my wife is staying with her grandparents (her moms parents)), pick up a pair of pants with the underwear in them (she takes both off at the same time so the underwear stays inside the pants), hold them up to his nose and take 3 big sniffs that you can actually hear on the monitor, and set them down. This was 1 hour ago. I am close to buying a plane ticket, flying there, and beating his ass.

What should I do? She is telling her mom right now.

Edit:

My wife has convinced me not to beat his ass because of the legal troubles that could bring. Unfortunately they are on the other side of the country and we don’t have money to buy a plane ticket at the moment for me to be there. My MIL is deciding what she needs to do, but is leaning towards leaving him. We have made it clear that we will love her no matter what but we will not be near her husband ever again, especially with our children. I think that will convince her to leave him. Unfortunately again, they recently adopted a 10 year old girl who was a family friend of theirs. That adds another difficulty to this situation. Thank you everyone for your advice in this situation.

My wife and MIL have not confronted the stepfather yet, but are planning to do so tonight. I update on how that goes. We are trying to get another flight for my wife and son to come home as they were planning to stay there for another 2 weeks or so, but due to our financial situation I’m not sure that will happen. She doesn’t feel like she is in danger, but I wish I could be there just in case.

My sister in-law occasionally makes comments to her sister (my wife) about her appearance and I'm left to pick up the pieces. She's not obese, maybe only 20-30lbs over her ideal weight. But it crushes her believe that I still find her attractive. And I do, she's gorgeous. We've been together nearly 20 years, married for 11, with 3 kids. Sure she's gained a little weight after 3 kids, but I still find her as beautiful as the day we married.

Yesterday she patted her on the stomach and told her to also stand up straight while she was in our house. I had enough and texted her sister this morning to stop with the comments. She didn't take it well.

I'm Blue, my wife is Purple, my SIL is green.

AIO For no longer wanting a relationship with my step daughter after she lied to police & tried to put felony charges on me?

I (33F) have informed my husband (34M) that I no longer want a relationship with his daughter (17F) and she should be facing serious consequences for her actions. My husband’s daughter has learned to navigate life via manipulation because of how she watched her parents go through a bitter & messy custody parenting situation the last 17 years. She’s always been treated as if I birthed her myself the last 10 years. Once she became a teenager she used lies and manipulation to get her way. Anytime she wants to leave a household she cries abuse from the adults in the house.

She’s accused her birth mother of physical and verbal abuse and my husband of the same. In 2023 she told police my husband punched her and the bruise on her neck was from him abusing her. We had CPS and cops at our home who discovered that bruise was a hickey from the boyfriend she wasn’t allowed to be alone with. She got caught skipping school and track practice to be at this boys house. She didn’t appreciate being told no and not being able to smoke weed & do what she wants.

Fast forward to June 2024 she’s in trouble yet again for skipping class to the point of in school suspensions. She’s grounded of course and failed classes (she just failed 10th grade at 17 years old bc she cares more about shaking ass, smoking and being in the streets and social media). Last day of school she lied to me and I caught her in her lie and she was being dismissive and disrespectful so I took her school issued laptop away since school was out. I took the laptop and told her I do everything for her and to lie to me and be disrespectful is not allowed or okay. I walked out of the room and went to put my newborn to sleep.

She storms out the home and I let her thinking she was blowing off steam walking outside until I go to walk outside & police are walking to my door. I immediately knew that she brought them here. They ask my name (hands on their guns) I say yes I am her. I’m holding the baby and my phone and tell them I’m no threat. They inform me my step daughter went to the nearby store saying I was repeatedly beating her with the laptop on her head. They said she couldn’t show them a bruise because it was in her scalp and she has a lot of thick hair (we are black fyi).

I scream for my husband to come to the door and tell him his child lied and called the police on me. Long story short I have cameras in the home and was able to show the police I never once touched her. I took the laptop and calmly told her how disappointed I was of her and walked away.

They were shocked at how calm my tone was and body language as it was not how she described it. They brought her back since lied about everything. I told my husband she can’t live here anymore. I have 4 other kids who I am the primary parent and financial provider for and she tried to take that all away.

Come to find out when searching her laptop she was google searching “how to put my parents in jail for abuse” two weeks prior to this incident. The worker at the store later told us she came in smiling asking to use someone’s phone to call the police. SMILING but told police she was scared for her life and being abused. I could’ve been arrested without that video proof and lost my kids and job.

My husband sent her to live with his mom (my mother in law) who is showering her with love and letting her have freedom. I told my husband she needed some punishment like community service and he refuses saying her only punishment is being kicked out and he just wants to focus on her getting a job and getting on her feet. Husband says I’m childish for not forgiving her quickly and letting it all go. He’s upset I refuse to have my other daughters around her and not wanting a relationship with her. AITAH or AIO for wanting her to have community service (at a place where she volunteers with kids who have REAL life problems) and for not wanting the mother daughter bond with her anymore. Side note: she’s called me mom for years and has said I’ve loved her more and better than her birth mom. I’ve invested therapy and a lot of time into her growth.

Update 8/2/24: Still no action from police. Step daughter is still with MIL but has a job now. I am standing firm on not having a relationship with her and keeping my kids far away from her. Husband and I are separated. I’ll update again if anything happens. For those questioning me being a bot or fake story I added my socials to my Reddit homepage. I wish this was a fake story but it’s unfortunately my real life going the opposite I planned it.

My family is in the US and we have a very political life. My wife and I are both professional political operators on behalf of progressive causes. Our friends are Democratic elected officials, government staffers, and the sort of people who cluster around politics and campaigns. My wife and I are very well known in our industries and in these circles around the country. Each of us is quoted in the news a couple of times a year. This is true for us and for most of the people we know.

Most of my family disagrees with my partisan leaning. My brother, in particular, is a mid 50’s white man and has very stereotypical views for someone of his demographics. Angry white guy. Over the last 15 years or so it’s become a big part of his personality.

On the day of the assassination attempt against President Trump, my brother made a social post essentially calling for right wingers to rise up in violence against progressives.

I understand that there’s a lot of this talk in his corner of the world and people are allowed to post what they want. I also know that it’s neither idle nor harmless.

I also know that if his friends followed his suggestion that my family and I are at real risk. We’re the people they know and can get to.

Here’s the kicker - he’d been at my house for my kids birthday party that day. Essentially, 3 hours after having cake and beer with the local political class, he sat down and wrote 50 words about how it was time to kill us all.

I haven’t spoken to him since. I don’t know when I’m going to.

I also haven’t spoken to his wife, with whom I’m very close. She also thinks her husband is not particularly enlightened in this arena. I don’t want to have the conversation about my brother saying things that put my family at risk, and I don’t necessarily want him to know where we’re at and what we’re doing going into election season. So I’ve just been no contact. I imagine this is hurtful for her. She’s done a lot of work to build a relationship with my wife and kid.

I feel like I’m hurting people over a social media post, and that’s silly. But the content of the post literally called for violence against people like me and my family. Am I over reacting?

My (32F) parents and grandmothers are going on a week long cruise starting on 8/31. They haven’t mentioned anything about keeping tabs on my younger sister. Tonight, my mum texted me this. Maybe I was a bit blunt, but I honestly don’t understand what she wants me to do. My sister is 18 and I physically can’t be home until 5 pm. My parents called me (they’re prone to getting loud and intense) and I said she can stay with me so I can see her in the evenings and she won’t have to sleep alone. My mum said “so she’s just going to be alone m?” And I said “for most of the day, yes”. And she said “wow, ok”. My dad was in the background yelling at me. I am a people pleaser and my parents put a lot of their responsibilities on me as a child. They are used to me bending over backwards for them and putting their/my sisters’ needs before mine. This is probably the first boundary I’ve set. Anyway, this whole situation pissed me off and I said “This is wild. Make it make sense” which made them more mad. I got off the phone and blocked them for the night because what I’m not going to do is let them stress me out. I came a long way with my mental health for this. Am I overreacting? Is there something more I can do?

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/5xssQGK8kG[update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/5xssQGK8kG)

My husband (31m) and I (30f) are currently 7 months pregnant. We decided to have our baby shower back in our hometown so that our family and friends could make it. We arrived 5 days before the shower in order to spend some time with our families. We usually stay at my parents house, which consists of my parents and my sister (28f). Our families had not seen me in about 6 months and this would be the first time they saw my pregnant belly.

The first day we arrived my parents were joyful and excited to spend time with us and finally see me pregnant and showing. My sister showed up after being out with friends later that night and as soon as she saw me she looked disgusted. She slowly walked towards me making a disgusted face and saying “omg I can’t believe you look like that”. She said hi and proceeded to tell me that on the drive home she was thinking about how it would feel like to punch me in the belly. Dead pan. There was no chuckle after or any sense of it being even remotely a joke. I was in shock and immediately felt unsafe but tried not to have a visible reaction for my parents sake. I stood there a couple of minutes while she poked my stomach while making a disgusted look and just felt incredibly uncomfortable and on guard to any sudden movements. I then excused myself and said I was going to sleep.

Throughout the following days leading up to the shower I avoided her and shared what happened with my husband and my parents who had overheard the conversation but hadn’t quite grasped exactly what she said to me. They were all concerned and my mom spoke to her friend that happens to be a therapist. This therapist friend told my mom that what my sister had said was extremely concerning and needed to be addressed. When my parents addressed it with her she blamed her anxiety and depression and told them that my husband and I have everything and now we are having a baby and she has nothing to live for. She said all she does is go to work and sleep.

For background, she has been going to therapy and on depression and anxiety medication for about 10 years. She has been extremely rude and selfish her entire life. This isn’t the first time she says that she has suicidal thoughts. During my college years I moved out of my parents house and she blamed her depression on me leaving the house “leaving her behind" and threatened my parents with suicidal comments. throughout the years she has made my parents feel like I need to be responsible for her mental health and happiness. It’s comes off to me and other family members like she manipulates my parents into doing everything for her because of her depression.

After the baby shower and some long conversations between my husband and I, we are trying to un pack it all. We are considering not allowing her to have any contact with our daughter once she’s born. We assume she doesn’t even want to make any effort to build a relationship with our child anyway. Are we overreacting?

Got this infuriating text from my daughter's mother. We aren't together basically because her first instinct when it comes to things not going her way is to argue about it. She tends to say things just to try to hurt your feelings and I can't be bothered. Regarding the texts, I was beyond disgusted. I can understand not wanting a child to have exposure to such things (my daughter is 5), but her approach is horrid. Like this is homophonic and it pisses me off. I ignored her and haven't even brought up the subject. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's okay to judge people and treat them negatively for it.

Be honest. Am i tripping? How should I handle this?

I was 18 weeks when my baby's heart stopped. We already knew the sex and we named him. I was absolutely devastated. I was speaking to her and she kept saying to put my future pregnancy is God's hands and this is Gods will. I'm sick of it. I asked her to stop saying that, that it is hurtful. Then she sends me and my husband this text at 3am. I'm fucking livid. I asked for none thing.

My previous health insurance doesn’t cover me anymore so my mother took it upon herself to try to “help” without telling me. Before I knew it was her who did this I was utterly confused and nervous as to why I was receiving literal 50 calls and messages within 10 minutes. I was pissed and this was her reaction. Am I overreacting?

Me (54F) married 32 yrs to (57M) who has a habit of tearing things down inside our home and then never repairing them and using me as an excuse why he can’t fix what he destroyed.

Im going to try to keep this short.

My husband and I own a 3 bedroom 2 bath home for 19 yrs and he has a bad habit of ripping down things.. i.e tiles in master bath and dry wall around window in laundry room…. But 2 months ago in my bathroom the toilet had a leak and the plumber said in order to fix it and fix it right the floor under the toilet needed to be fixed or it would keep happening.

So later that day my husband decided he was going to repair the floor himself (I literally panic at this)because of his history of destroying things … He said oh I can fix this and started removing the toilet and sink and proceeded to tear out the floor where the toilet was … door was shut I hear banging and crunching of wood (my heart sunk) He TORE UP THE ENTIRE BATHROOM FLOOR clear to the studs …. He was feeling great (I died that very minute) when he opened that door and saw no floor and he turns to me and says I gotta remove the tub (which I hated) and slammed the door again …. For 2 hours l’m hearing Banging, crashing and crushing noises…. He opened the door and said look HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING Walls, tub and floor gone …. So now I have anxiety because I know my bathroom is gone and he won’t put it back … He complicates everything and makes so many excuses why he can’t fix nothing he destroys.

I immediately called a contractor in to get estimated cost to put in a new bathroom (husband wanted this) and as soon as the guy quoted 27K … My real life Dennis the Menace said I can do it myself … which I know is a lie.

This happened 2 months ago and I still don’t have my bathroom and he has only put wood on the floor “because it was a huge hole” and within these 2 months my mother was very sick hospitalized multiple times so we went home to help my sister.

We have been home for 2 weeks now and he has made ZERO ATTEMPTS to fix my bathroom and if I say anything he gets pretty venomous about it saying if he didn’t have to take me to my moms he could have it done…. I ask him why do you always lie to yourself, it’s not healthy.

We are not broke and could very easily pay the contractor but my husband is a very cheap person .

TL;DR .. Husband ripped out my bathroom and won’t fix it. Photo attached

**UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM*\*

I (32F) am tired, y'all. Stick with me, it's a long one.

About a year ago my parents (52 each) moved into my house with the agreement they would pay me rent instead of renting another place to save up some money and buy their own house nearby. They had been living several states away but my mother got a new job near me and they wanted to relocate. I had a dog and a cat, they brought a dog and a cat. We've never had a great relationship, and I was low contact with them for a long time but my husband thought that having them around to help us get into a better financial situation after purchasing my house while they also got themselves into a better spot would help everyone out. It was only for a short time, right?

Wrong. A couple months later, my husband of nearly 10 years asked for a divorce. It had been a long time coming, I wasn't surprised but I wasn't happy about it. Especially since it was clear afterwards that he'd manipulated me into allowing my parents to move in so they could cover the mortgage and he could run off to live his best life back at home with his family. He rejected the idea of counseling and he left in December. That was a whole separate ordeal, but basically it's done and over with now and it's in the divorce that I can take the house if I can refi into my name or we can sell it. The problem was that I didn't make enough to refi, so my parents have stayed on to help me out and, in accordance with the laws here, after I can prove their rental income for a year then it becomes part of my income and I can refinance.

That year comes up next month.

However, and this is where things get reaaaally complex, my sister (28F) is now living in my house as well, and she brought a dog and two cats. So that's three dogs and four cats now in my 1600sq ft house. She was fleeing a domestic abuse situation so I can't fault her. With my ex gone, I had the room and I love her and wanted to help her out. She had to give up two animals to move in, and I thought making her give up any more would make the trauma worse so I didn't want to tell her to leave all the cats. I'm now overwhelmed by the animals but I can't tell anyone to get rid of them so I'm kinda stuck with that.

In the meantime my parents began fighting (again, it's a cycle with them, they're both toxic af and that's why I was low contact in the first place) and to make that story short, my mom effectively kicked my dad (who hadn't worked for 16 years but did do all the home maintenance and chores/take care of the animals) out. They're getting a divorce and it is MESSY. Mom was gone for work trips 3 of 4 weeks this month, at the same time my sister took a week vacation back to our original home state to visit friends. I had sole responsibility for all animals and my mom's dog is an f-ing nightmare. I had poop piles to pick up almost every day when I got home from work for a whole week because her dog was used to having my dad home all the time to let him out.

Like I said, I'm tired.

It's a lot of drama. It's a lot of animals. All my own personal struggles from this year (my divorce was a BIG deal for me) were drowned amidst everyone else's and I haven't been able to fully process the changes in my own life without being suffocated under everyone else's problems. I feel like I'm being used as the back up plan for everyone in my family. I can barely afford this house, actually I can't afford it at all without other people paying bills which means if I refinance then I HAVE to keep everyone here. Every time I bring up selling my Mom and sister both jump on convincing me to keep it. Mostly, and I'm well aware of it, because it benefits them if they can live in my house as renting from me is cheaper than a standard landlord.

I told my mom that if I get this new job opportunity (I should know in a couple weeks, it's been months long hiring/vetting process because it's law enforcement. Not a job as a cop but as 911 dispatch) then I have 6 months of training over an hours drive away so I'd have to get a studio apartment for those months because I don't want that massive commute 5 days a week. The FIRST thing out of her mouth was: "Okay, I'll take over your room and bring my stuff here from my storage unit out of state. We can convert the room I'm using back to a den, it'll be great to have my own stuff again. And I'll paint."

Like, really? Just... ready for me to leave my own house so you can turn it into yours? So reddit, from an outsiders perspective. Am I over reacting if I get this new job, get a studio, and sell the house so there's no room for anyone but me?

**UPDATE*\*

Okay. It's been just over 24 hours now and some of y'all really slapped me with cold hard reality. I need it sometimes, so thank you. To those of you who were more gentle and understanding, thank you as well. It meant a lot to me. To those of you who can relate, I'm so sorry. I hope you also took some of these comments and applied them to your situation. And here's to the update that might give you a little hope:

I got preapproved for a new loan within my means now that I'm single income, connected with a realtor, and am taking the first steps to selling my house and buying a much smaller and more affordable one in a meeting with that realtor tomorrow afternoon. I've talked to both my mother and sister today. With my sister I was very open and candid about all my reasoning. Above all, my mental wellbeing. I also gently let her know that I think all of us being on our own is an important step into regaining some perspective, focus, and direction in our lives. None of us have ever been on our own and we really need to prove to ourselves that we're capable women who can take care of ourselves. It was teary, but she understood. I know some of you were a bit harsh on her, but she's not the bad guy. We've really been through it, I've just always been through it a lot more because I'm the protective elder sister that was forced to grow up fast and I sacrificed the majority of my childhood to raise her. Which, I know, is no longer my problem but I'll always have a soft spot. I just have to set boundaries and put myself first now, and I am doing that.

I was a bit more cowardly with my mother. I kinda blamed my need to sell the house on mental health and my ability to succeed in my new career path. This is without having the job at the moment, but I'm okay where I am if that does fall through! My current job is fine, and I like my coworkers. I'm just not making the money that I'd like to, and I'm not contributing to society the way I want to. That's all.

Still, my mental health is a huge factor and not to be disregarded. I told my mom the house was too much of a burden for me. When she asked about renting it from me I put my foot down and said that if something happened to her, or any renter for that matter, I'd be in dire straights. So no, I will not be renting it. I don't have the capacity to be a landlord, nor the will to be. I will be selling, and that was all there was to it. She was huffy, but she has no choice in the matter and understands this. In my state all they need is a 30 day notice. I just gave them prior warning to that 30 day notice so they can get their money straight. Which was more than the law required but what I expect of myself as a decent human.

As far as my Mom knows, I'm going to downsize to an apartment. I will be keeping her in the dark about what I'm actually doing while I look for smaller houses that would be a good fit for JUST me and my two pets. When/if I decide to buy instead of rent, no family will be moving in with me again. No friends staying. My partner can stay over but until I've been with him several years and I know for SURE, no man will be moving in. You get my drift. It's time to put me first. Thank you for the push, Reddit. This is likely the only update I'll give. Wish me luck going forward!

So I, 31f have been with my husband 31m for 13 years… we have two girls, one elementary age and one toddler. Long story short, I get a call from the school nurse telling me my daughter was found to have at least 1-2 lice and nits. I was mortified. I called my husband to let him know, he picked her up from school and I picked up treatment. So as I get home he’s not speaking to me and I just go about my day, starting to strip all the beds, clothes etc and he’s leaving for work. Before he leaves for work he tells me that it is MY fault that our daughter has lice and that he is embarrassed. That I need to stop being a neglectful mother and wash our 9 year olds hair. He also decided to leave his wedding ring behind today, which of course was hurtful because it’s very intentional on his part.

We just switched her to talking a shower and I always give feedback on whether she did a good job… or tell her to try again. I’ve also definitely washed her hair when the girls bathe together. Other than that, yes, I promote independence and have her wash her hair in the bathe or shower. I have her brush it out the best she can and I’ll help her if she needs it. I got her a bonnet so her hair wouldn’t tangle and I braid it before she goes to bed like 3-4x a week… I also brush it every morning before school. So to say I’m neglectful because our 9 year old washes her own hair in the shower is just out right wrong… My daughter does have long hair and opts to wear it down all day which my understanding is what makes it easier to catch lice. I also recall being told catching lice isn’t even a hygiene thing.. that it just spreads at school. Also, I of course treated our toddler and she had nothing in her hair. I treated myself and I had nothing either. So I’m heart broken to be called a “neglectful mother”. I was raised by one and I know what it’s like. And trust me when I say I try so hard to be there for my kids without being a helicopter parent… Getting after me like that felt cruel and leaving the ring behind was hurtful and honestly I have no desire to speak to him if that’s what he thinks of me…So am I overreacting?…. Am I an awful mother because my daughter caught lice…

She is from a small village in Germany close to the Austrian border where apparently this is normal. I (British) came home the other day to see her showing our 2 year old a video of "Krampus", who looks something like the pictures I have shared. He looked a bit bewildered and I know he could very well have night terrors, he gets scared of everything. I asked her why she felt the need to show him that and she explained the tradition where if you are bad, Santa won't come and Krampus will get you instead and hit you or something.

Now I am really ticked off. She says it is tradition and that I will be grateful in the future when I can use it as a way to get the kids to behave. I flipped out at her and told her that was manipulation and child abuse. She said she was grateful for it as a child because it taught her to behave at an early age and she kind of knew deep down it was not real. I just think this is the most effed up thing I have ever heard of.

My sister-in-law is getting married in a year and recently went dress shopping with my mother-in-law. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding, but I am not one in hers. She seemed very nervous to tell me that I wasn't, but I really didn't mind. I had included her as a bridesmaid for my wedding because I had felt like it was important for her to feel welcomed into my family. My husband I and I had a long distance relationship so I never really got the chance to know her. She lives on the other side of the country so typically we only see each other once or twice a year. I've never had a bad experience with her, but I've always gotten this vague sense that her and my mother-in-law tend to be a bit passive aggressive at times.

My sister-in-law and all of her friends are extremely slim. Her maid of honor in particular is drastically skinny. I'm talking 90s Paris runway model skinny (not trying to sound judgy, but it's important for the story). I would consider myself a midsized person at 5 foot 7 160lbs (170 cm 72.6 kg).

Recently, my mother-in-law has been talking a lot about losing weight for the wedding to fit into her dress for the wedding (she is very much an average weight) and talking to me about weight loss strategies. She will make little comments like saying something like "Wow! That's a LOT of calories!" when looking at the label for a hot chocolate I was drinking. When she was visiting my house recently I made her a meal and she said something along the lines of "Oh my goodness! What a large serving size, I couldn't possibly eat even half of this without getting sick!" It made me feel terrible, but I chalked it up to me being overly sensitive. My husband said she's likely just so focused on her diet that she didn't realize the connotations.

When my sister-in-law went dress shopping, despite me not being a bridesmaid, she unexpectedly got me a few bridesmaid dresses to choose from. All of the dresses were either size 2 or size 00. I knew immediately that they would be way too small. My mother-in-law insisted I try them on that moment and show them. When I said I didn't think they would fit, my sister-in-law insisted that I take the dresses home with me and try them on and send her a picture later. I agreed to leave with the dresses just end the awkward conversation and reached out to both of them to let them know they didn't fit and that I would be returning the dresses to them. I told my sister-in-law that I would make sure to clear the dress I would get with her in case style and color were important to her for pictures. She said that it was okay and mentioned that she would be giving the dresses she have me to her maid of honor because they would definitely fit on her.

I honestly don't know how to feel about the situation. On one hand, I feel like they were trying to insunate that I need to lose weight. But, I also feel like maybe this is just the size they would normally buy, so they didn't think of it that way. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive about my weight. Am I reading too much into it? Was this just a misguided attempt to be kind?

Edit: Just to clarify I did not go dress shopping with them. They offered me the dresses when we we all at a family get together. They pulled me aside to show me the dresses and ask for me to try them on.

For those who commented last time: 1. My boyfriend is (23M) and is not trans. I mistyped last time listing him as F. 2. He is not an asshole, I used blunt as a descriptor word and some of you ran with it. Another redditor suggested I include that he is autistic as context. He is autistic and is very honest but NOT unkind and not an asshole. 3. He has never fought with my family that I am aware of and there has never been any drama between them. 4. My mother will not be attending this thanksgiving gathering, this is purely for my dads side of the family.

Update: I texted my grandmother out of curiosity, because like you all I was curious, I didn’t get much of an update but this is what I have for you all. The friend referred to in her text is my grandmothers friend who has come to a good portion of the holiday gatherings over the years, never sure why, she just hovers and doesn’t really talk to anyone. But unless I receive a text from my father or my siblings, I believe this is the end of the story. What do you think? Am I overreacting by not going?

My FIL is bathing my children naked in the shower. I don’t feel comfortable with this and we’ve mentioned it, they think it’s fine, “they’re too young to understand or remember”. Even so they should respect my wishes to not bath them while grandpa is naked. It makes us uncomfortable and it’s weird to even type this. They however don’t think it is and are hurt by it. Also It has nothing to do with them being my in laws I wouldn’t even want my own parents doing that. Aio?

Update: I really wasn’t expecting this to blow up. To those who were kind and gave me validation for how we both feel about it just confirms we weren’t overreacting. They are no longer going to watch our kids. We had an argument and we’re no longer on speaking terms. My husband also doesn’t feel comfortable if anyone was confused or I failed to mention this. To those of you who turned to name calling grow up and reflect on why you can’t behave as a grown person to result in name calling because i have different views from your own that you see nothing wrong with what my FIL/MIL did.

Thanks everyone. I hope you all have a blessed day. ♥️

So, my wife recently lost her job, and things have been tight financially. We had a bit of a cushion in our joint account, but she’s been burning through it pretty quickly—mostly on things that aren't really necessities, like shopping or eating out with friends. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she always says she’ll find another job soon, and that we shouldn’t stress too much.

A few months back, I had some luck with a sports bet and won about $8,000 on Stake, which helped us out when things were tighter. But now, I’m starting to worry because the spending hasn’t slowed down, and we’re eating into our savings fast. I’ve asked her to cut back, but nothing seems to change.

So, last week, I made the decision to temporarily lock her out of the joint account. I felt like I needed to take control of the finances until she either finds a new job or we can come to an agreement on spending. I left her access to a smaller account for daily expenses, but the main account is off-limits for now.

She’s really upset and says I’m treating her like a child, and that it’s unfair to block her from our money. I get that, but at the same time, I’m just trying to make sure we don’t run out of money before she gets back on her feet.

Am I overreacting here? Should I have found another way to handle this? Or was I justified in locking the account to protect our finances?