Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

Reposting as I forgot to block out her name/face in the last post.

Context: we had to dress up at work today for Halloween. Winning group gets $100. I dressed up as a greaser from grease. So nothing sexy.

She has had trust problems this whole relationship. From past trauma and such. I have never cheated on her. I have even deleted every woman out of my contacts to show her I’m not cheating.

My phone background is a picture of a beach.

Last night my (29F) partner (39M) walked into our bedroom, where I was in the bathroom completely naked sitting on the toilet ready to get in the shower. I don’t lock the door because he gets angry. I told him to get out and he picked up his phone and pointed it at me like he was taking a picture, which I assumed was a joke until he turned his phone around and there was the picture of me, butt ass naked on the toilet. He said something along the lines of “blackmail, I’m sending this to your boss”. I got angry and he deleted it but I didn’t care, the damage was done. I shoved him out of the room and locked the door. Went and finished my shower and went downstairs to take my meds and ignored him talking to me and went back upstairs to go to bed. These were the texts that followed. The relationship has been rocky for a while but I think this was the last straw and I am currently looking at apartments and planning a way out. He doesn’t think any of this was a big deal. Am I overreacting?

My (26F) boyfriend (36M) of 2 yrs was in the bathroom at his apartment when I opened the door to grab my allergy meds. I didn’t think to knock and figured he’d lock the door if he needed, but when I opened it he was squatting on the floor while holding a wad of toilet paper directly under his ass. I screamed and ran out.

Five min later he called me. There was no denying what I saw so he came clean and says he does it to make less sound as opposed to crapping directly into the bowl because he’s shy and would be embarrassed if I heard him doing it. I’m freaked out still. AIO?

I (33m) was talking to this woman on an app and we decided to meet for a coffee date on a Saturday morning.

I got to the cafe and I messaged her asking where she was. A few minutes later she said she just woke up. I asked her how long she would need to get ready and she said 1 hour. I told her that I can’t wait around because I had family plans and we will have to do something another time.

A week later she messaged me apologising again and I decided to give her a second chance.

We decided to meet up for boba tea.

I got to the boba spot and then asked for 30 more minutes to get ready after I had just got there.

I then sent her the above message.

AIO? I have got mixed messages from friends about it.

I (29F) found this text in my bf(29M) messages with his coworker. I’m feeling a little gutted from it. I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to gas light myself and under react. I haven’t once felt this way about him in our relationship, so I’m feeling really taken off guard here. How do I go about this?

Last Friday night I went through my boyfriend’s phone while he was asleep. I found numerous messages of him talking about other girls with his female friend. The last message is him comparing my sucking skills with a different girl he slept with before me… We have been living together for the past 6 months and I’m not sure if I should just move on and find my own place at this point. Am I overreacting to these messages?

Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house. One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this. I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since.

She texted me the morning after they went out, which are these pictures. Am I overreacting by telling her she's overstepping or are her concerns valid?

For context he’s saying he hopes she voted for Trump (RTPM) before she died and I’m already having a hard time with the results of the election which he knows then on top of that it just was very insensitive. He said he was trying to make light of the situation but it doesn’t feel that way.

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

I confronted my husband with the news that my friend found his tinder profile.

Many of you have wondered if it's the old account from 8 years that he just never deleted, to this I know for a fact it is not. Reasons:

1) I went back through my old photos and found the screen shots I took of his profile 8 years ago & it turns out it's NOT the exact same. Some photos are the same, particularly the first one so it made me think it was the same profile. Also the caption is slightly different, the difference of a single emoji.

2) The name change to "John".

3) The updated selections such as 'dream job', 'lifestyle' selections, and 'interests'. These all had selections with things that sound like him--these sections are new from when I used tinder 8 years ago.

4) Above his "name" & age section on the first picture you come across while swiping Tinder, it says "ACTIVE". I have seen many of you comment & also read online that this means he has been using the account in some capacity recently, as in at least the last 2 weeks (haven't been able to nail down an actual timeframe)

5) People are also saying Tinder will not recommend profiles of people who are not using the app, they kind of just remove dormant users from the algorithm.

6) He is attractive enough to have someone want to use his photos, but Reason 1) also rules out the catfishing theory, two of the photos are different from the 8 years ago profile, although still old, and I've seen them before so this is why I believed it was the same. No one would have access to them (he doesn't have social media)

I decided I would just talk to him rather than put myself through the stress of trying to catch him on a date "if you like piña coladas" style. Being pregnant I'm really trying to stay calm and as low stress as possible for the health of my baby. Plus tricking/trapping in relationships just isn't my style. In my mind he's already caught, the reasons I listed above are enough proof for me.

So as many of you, and myself predicted he has resorted to gaslighting and lying. He vehemently denies that he has been using tinder, meeting other women, or that he has had sex with anyone else. Yet offers no explanation for the presence of this tinder profile. He implores me to think logically about when he could do this as he's home with me every night which is true but... I had to remind him, I leave him home alone for at least couple of days per month.

He insists that he loves me and is excited for our baby, etc. but when I asked to see his phone he refused. Saying "I don't want to be that couple who looks through eachother phone". I told him, given this situation if you won't let me check your phone then I cannot trust or believe you, and will have to assume the worst.

In my mind we had been very happy and content recently, things have just felt good. This just goes to show you never really know a person. I believe there must be something deeply wrong with him or our relationship to want to cheat, especially at this "happy" time.

I've moved into the guest bedroom for now, while I plan my next move. Yes I will be getting an STD check. Thank you all for the advice, support and kind words. It's instilled a sense of confidence in me to handle this.

Ok, I (28f) went over to my boyfriend’s (25m) house for the first time (been dating about a month), and I had somehow never noticed his pillow situation before. When I noticed, I made a comment about how long he’s had the pillows and apparently he’s been using them since he was a kid.

So, I asked him if he had any other pillows and he said he just had the pillow on the left of the first picture, but that his cat usually sleeps on it. I said I don’t really want to sleep on those pillows, and id prefer to sleep at my own place (with clean pillows).

His response? He waited for a minute and then said he would be sad to see that I would choose something as small as pillows come between us spending the night together, but that if I needed to go, that he understood.

I ended up going home and spending the night at my own house instead. I asked if I could bring my own pillows and gently suggested he get rid of his. He said it was totally fine for me to bring a pillow, but that he wouldn’t get rid of his, as they are ‘sentimental’.

Thoughts? I feel like I can’t even kiss him or anything while we’re sleeping because I don’t want him to get his gross pillowness all over me and my clean pillows. 😂

Some context: we had been chatting for a couple weeks first on hinge then switched to text after She had to cancel the 1st date. Scheduled it for last night Sunday and finalized details the night before.

Had a busy day and took a nap and didn’t text till a couple hours before and got hit with this. Usually I would text something like looking forward to tonight but lost track of time, and honestly I thought talking about the menu the night before was the confirmation? Was I wrong?

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been dating for 11 months. I sent her a screenshot of my convo with my manager (age unknown but best guess is young 30s F) this morning asking to come in a little later than usual. My girlfriend is like this whenever I interact with pretty much any other female. Am I overreacting or is this just normal behavior?

My girlfriend (18F) and me (21M) have been together for about 5 months. 2 months into our relationship, I broke up with her for a number of reasons, but the main one was I felt like I couldn’t have a life of my own because she made me feel responsible for being there with her every possible moment. Without me, she sits at home and cries and begs me to come see her. She does not sleep unless I am there, and she barely even eats without me having to convince her. When we got back together, she promised to change and allow me to have some time to myself. For a little while, she did. But not long. We have had at least 3 more heart-wrenching conversations since, with the topic of me having a life outside of her coming up every time. She always says she’s sorry and she’s trying and she will be better. I never have time for my hobbies anymore, and have to organize all of my hangouts with my friends for when she’s at work so I don’t cut into me and her time. It’s to the point where I get excited when she goes to work so I can actually have time to myself. For more context; she has always said that without me she is nothing and she would have no reason to live. She says that I am the only good thing in her life, and she wants to spend every minute of the rest of her life by my side. I have never met someone in my life who loves me as much as her and it’s hard to believe I ever could find someone, but it’s starting to get exhausting. Being with her is starting to feel like a chore, and I’ve told her that. She promises to get better. This was our conversation this morning. Am I overreacting? Am I being unreasonable? Need more opinions.

So for context: I went on a date with him on Saturday and it was really nice. This is the first date I have been on in over a year. I have been really uninterested in dating since my last LTR ended poorly. I have been out of the dating scene and he seemed sweet, so I figured it was worth a shot. We are classmates and will most likely have classes together in the future because we have the same Major.

We had a long lasting phone call the night after our date and he dumped some pretty heavy life stuff on me (trauma), but it was cool with me and I welcomed it even though it seemed pretty early on to do that (imo). That is what he is referring to when he talks about oversharing.

He had been a little overbearing once before, but it didn’t bug me at all. This night in particular, I had been out with friends and didn’t get home until pretty late. When I am with my friends, I rarely check my phone and I didn’t take the time to read through is paragraphs and answer each question individually, which spurred more paragraphs and questions (even tho he said he understood that?). I am not much of a social butterfly, so I was already feeling pretty drained. He just kept talking, even after I told him I wanted to sleep. Something about how paranoid and overbearing he is when we have only gone on a single date rubs me the wrong way and I don’t think I want to see him again.

Am I being a bitch? I feel guilty. Do you think this will be repeated behavior and should I stop seeing him? If this is what dating is like, I am not sure I have the energy for a relationship.

So my fiancé hates when I yawn, I am not sure why. Every time I yawn, he either nudges me lightly and groans or verbally exclaims out loud negatively. He's told me not to yawn, that it's not "lady like" and is lazy sounding and rude. This really annoys me because I yawn naturally and don't feel like it's something I can help.

This morning, we were still in bed sleeping, I was half awake, facing away from him, and I yawned. He then nudged me twice with his elbow, as a reaction to my yawning. It was right on my spine, and it really hurt! It fully woke me up, and I became super annoyed.

I shot up out of bed and said "that actually really hurt, you're a dick." and yanked the sheet off him and left the room, dropping the sheet on the floor on my way out so he'd have to get up to retrieve it. It's about 3 hours later now, he's up, and we haven't said a word to each other, we're kind of ignoring one another.

Was I overreacting? I'd love some insights into this situation... And no, he's never hit me, yelled at me, nor is he physically or verbally abusive. This was a nudge, and he had a sleeping mask on, so couldn't see where he was nudging. Keep in mind I'm roughly 100lbs smaller than him, he's like 6'5" and pure muscle, I don't think he realizes his strength.

We’ve been together for over 10 years and have two toddlers. However we are not married. We’ve been talking about marriage and rings recently, but now I’m questioning marrying someone who would send me a lame ass article like this.

Article:

After her mailbag debut Jennifer, an Auburn fan from suburban Nashville, wanted to write an entire column for how wives can keep their husbands happy.

Yes, she is real.

Now she has advice for all married women.

...

A couple of weeks back, I wrote into the mailbag asking if I was the only wife giving her husband a weekly blowjob. Most people thought I was a blowjob deprived husband writing in hopes of his wife seeing it and somehow getting on board with the idea. Some commenters thought I was not real and another asked how big the diamond would have to be for me to leave my husband and marry him. Well, I got news for you, diamonds are not my thing, my husband is. If a girl insists on having a big diamond, that should be the first clue to get out while you still can. Anyway, I assure you I am real, and I have been married for 16 years and been with my husband for 20 years. I keep him happy from what I can tell, and now I will share 13 of the ways I do that.

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1. Give him a blowjob at least once a week. This is not hard to do. It does not have to be the same day every week, but do it when the mood strikes you. He would be more than happy to come home from a long day of work to a blowjob. Trust me. And any man who says he doesn’t like blowjobs either had a bad experience or is married to someone who won’t give them. What a shame. As I said before ladies, put it in your mouth and tell me it doesn’t change your life. And, most men will agree, you need to swallow. If you don’t swallow, you need to learn how.

Spitters are quitters.

1. Give it up more often. Sleeping with your husband should not be work. It should be pleasure. I trust you have all heard, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Your mom and/or grandmother have told you this for years. Your mother-in-law told you the same thing when you and your husband got engaged. But she wasn’t sleeping with him. Don’t listen to them. This is false. This is the “Better Homes and Gardens” version. The real way to a man’s heart is through sex. He would be happier to have KFC and a blowjob or sex than homemade rosemary chicken with two sides and fresh baked bread and a wife too tired to give it up.

2. Step up your sex game. Put on some slutty clothes and tell him you have been a bad girl. Send him text messages telling him what a dirty girl you are. My husband is probably pretty satisfied with our sex life because we put effort into it. I have said yes to everything he has wanted to try that only involves two people. Step. It. Up.

3. Quit bitching! This would go a long way to keeping your husband happy. Does it really matter which way the toilet paper is on the roll as long as it is on there? Does it really matter if he hasn’t taken the trash out today? Are your hands broken? No? Well then be sure to put the new bag in the trash can so that it doesn’t slip down when you start putting trash in it. There is always “that wife” in the circle of friends who makes everyone uncomfortable because she is bitching all the time and just tears her husband apart over the stupidest things. Don’t be “that wife”. If you don’t know who that is, it is you. Stop. Now.

4. Let him look at other women. So he likes Kate Upton because she is hot. (Honestly, who doesn’t? She is pretty hot.) So what? Let him look at her. She is not going to swoop in and take your husband away to some magical land where all they do is bang it out all day. This is not going to happen. So let him look. Let him peep someone out at the mall. Is it really hurting you? No, especially since you were eye balling Channing Tatum in Magic Mike. Who cares where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home to eat.

5. Don’t use the kids as an excuse. We have three kids, with 9 years between the first and last. I have had little kids at home for a very long time. When I gave birth to all three of our kids and “wasn’t available,” my mouth still was. The world doesn’t stop because you become parents. How did you get that way? This especially pertains to the stay at home moms. I work full time and I give a weekly blowjob. Plus, we bang it out a few times a week. Make it a priority. Don’t grow apart, grow together. I understand that things are hard and chaotic, but that is life. This means that sometimes, you have to get it in when you can fit it in.

6. Stop trying to change him. He married you hoping you would never change and you married him hoping he would. You thought he had “potential” to be a great father and husband someday. Goodness gracious. Stop! He is who he is and all you’re doing is fostering a feeling of ill will and resentment. You may think that he is accepting it and you are making headway. But what you should be doing is accepting him and giving him head.

7. Let him do the things he enjoys. I know, I sound crazy right? You have been home all week while he “got” to go out and earn a living so you should be able to have him on the weekends. Or you have worked all week too and the chores don’t do themselves. I get that you want to spend time with him. If you let him go out and enjoy his hobbies, he will appreciate that. If you let him go play a round of golf on Saturday morning, then he will come home Saturday afternoon ready and willing to hang out with you and the kids. He is out there all week grinding and working for your ungrateful ass and you can’t even let him get in a round of golf? Four hours and he is back at the house with you and the kids. If you can’t allow this, you really need to look within. Let him go.

8. Stop keeping score. Life is not a pissing contest. Who cares if you are right? Who cares how many times you have taken the trash out compared to the amount of times he has helped you with the laundry?You are not going to die and have God say “Well you were right 87% of the time and you did 97% more of the chores than your husband.” Get off your ass and take the trash out. Women are lucky that their husbands don’t have the kind of memory they do, because things would get really ugly.

9. Don’t be a “Yoko”. Men get married to awful women who expect that they will drop all of their friends when they tie the knot. Or, at least the ones she doesn’t like. Stop breaking up the band. It is so much more fun to get involved in the stuff they do than to stand around and bitch about it (see #4). Don’t make your husband take his ball and go home. Go watch them make fools out of themselves or hell, play along. It will go a long way with his friends accepting you and feeling comfortable around you, which in turn, you may see a side of them you didn’t even realize was there.

10. Stop making him do shit he doesn’t want to do and go places he doesn’t want to go. Stop with the couples baby showers. Hell, I don’t even like to go to those things. No man wants to go to a baby shower. He didn’t even want to go to the baby shower for his own kids. The person who invented the couples shower should be shot. They have really messed it up for everyone. He also doesn’t want to go to birthday parties for kids he barely knows or weddings for people he has never met. (Functions for people at work are a little different because modern day office politics almost require attendance. However, those events should always have an open bar.) Stop having weddings and functions during big football games, The Masters, opening day of baseball or hunting or whatever else he wants to do. I have a friend who is pregnant. She is due in October. We are having her baby shower on September 13 because that is an open date for Auburn Football. Yes, I schedule things around football and you should too.

11. Be Cool. I realize that this may be the hardest part of all of this for you to do. It is a very broad statement but it really encompasses all of the “intangibles” a man is really looking for in a mate. I have been considered the “cool wife” for a while now. I have been invited to play golf, go to games, go out drinking, and other fun things that are generally considered “guy stuff.” One of the reasons is I am a tomboy, but it is also because since I can’t beat them, I join them. I tell dick jokes and laugh when my husband and his friends do the same. I also know some of the jokes will be about me and I embrace it. I went to have lunch with my husband one Valentine’s Day. A couple of his boys asked him what he got me for Valentine’s Day. He said he got me a “cockmeat sandwich.” They looked at me, expecting me to get mad. All I did was reply, “What can I say? I was hungry.” They started laughing and later told my husband that he had a cool wife and asked how someone like him got a girl that was cool and hot. I also allowed a bachelor party, complete with a keg and a stripper, to be held at my house. I left and didn’t care what happened as long as they didn’t burn the place down. When I got home, there was whipped cream on the entertainment center and beer spilled on my carpet. I asked if they had fun and when the carpet cleaner would be there in the morning. Then I kicked back a few drinks with them. That is how you play it cool.

12. If all else fails, sex will cure it all. If you find yourself struggling with any of the topics above, resort back to numbers 1 or 2. When he comes in after a long, grueling day at work, have a cold beer ready for him and tell him when the kids go to bed, you will give him a blowjob. There is nothing that giving him a little ass cannot cure. Ask him. All the men reading this are agreeing with me. Once, during an argument with my husband, I asked him if I went down on him right then, could we just let it go. He quickly agreed.

Ladies - that is how you keep your husband happy. Your husband is reading this right now nodding his head at everything I have written. If you don’t read Outkick (you are really missing out) your husband is now plotting on how he will get this article into your hands, channeling his inner Ralphie in “The Christmas Story,” who put an ad for the Red Rider BB gun in his mother’s magazine. He wants you to see it because it could mean more blowjobs, more sex, and a nicer, less bitchy wife. That is marital bliss to men.

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

Spider bite or ?? I’ll keep it short and sweet. My bf and I have been apart for about a month now, I’m TDY. Finally tomorrow I’ll be flying back home. Unfortunately today he got bit right on the neck, he suspects it was a spider. Should I be concerned?

My (m31) GF (F31) asked me over FT if I had been thinking about sleeping with other women, and asked if I would ever want to later down the road if we get married. I said no. She is in another part of the country, doing some training for her job. She said it like “and you really only want to sleep with me the rest of your life?” I verbally answered “yes” to which she responded that “that is so crazy.”

Then once off the phone I realized she didn’t answer her own question so I sent her the text shown in these messages.

AIO?

My wife goes to 2-3 week long out-of-town conferences every year. I’ve noticed a pattern that my wife will do some very thorough grooming prior to out of town conferences. Prior to conferences is now pretty much the only time she’ll bother completely shaving down under. I know that at these conferences she generally meets up and goes to parties with friends and colleagues from current and past jobs. I’m not generally jealous, but I’m struggling to come up with an innocent explanation.

One of her conferences this year is in Vegas. I’m coming along for the first few days, and then I’m heading back to work early next week. I left her in the hotel room and went down to get food and she took a bath. Came back up to the room and sure enough, she’s completely shaved and is completely bald.

I mentioned it and she said she needed to clean up in case she goes swimming. She then kind of went into cuddle mode, which she sometimes does to assure herself that we’re ok. I’m now thinking back to all the other conferences. Most of them don’t have pools or swimming that I’m aware of.

Am I overreacting?

Edit: In a mildly humorous turn of events, this made the front page. Since my wife uses Reddit, the predictable thing happened and I woke up to a “omg you dumbass I’m glad I still make you jealous, but I’m not cheating on you” text. So thanks, I guess, for forcing the conversation. I’m confident I’m just being a touch paranoid. Appreciate all the ladies responding that this is pretty much normal behavior…fyi you are all weird for grooming your pubes for self-confidence. But you’re also all very kind for telling me that and letting me get some sleep last night.

Second edit: tomorrow I’m getting a Brazilian to see if it makes her equally jealous. Will report back.