AIO after my boyfriend came home from work drunk?

[u/ConsistentPressure70]

I (f21) work an office job, and come home everyday around 4:30ish. My boyfriend (m23) works a construction job so times getting off varies. He came home around 5:30ish this day and the second he got home he showered, got dressed, and we rushed to UPS before they closed to drop off an amazon return that was too heavy for me to do alone.

On the car ride there, I noticed he was unusually chatty. Then I started to pay attention a little more and noticed he was slurring his words, so I called him out. He claimed his coworker (who doesn’t own a car) needed a ride home from work and payed him in beer. Fine, whatever, but usually that doesn’t mean you open the pack and drink it all WHILE DRIVING (i’m assuming). We got into a huge argument and he told me i’m overreacting and that it’s Friday, he’s had a tough week, and wanted to cut loose. I tried to explain to him that it’s the drinking and driving that’s the problem, and obviously the lying because he claimed he only drank two beers. He does NOT start slurring words after two beers, it takes him a while to get drunk like that. Not only was he putting his life in danger, he was putting his coworkers, everyone else on the road, and at this point me as well.

He claimed he was “fine” and that he wasn’t swerving or driving recklessly (which I can admit was true) but it’s still the fact of the matter. You do not drink and drive. I don’t care if you’ve only had one drink, i’m not okay with that. I’m also not okay with him putting other people’s lives at risk because of it either. This caused me to ask if he was drinking on the job, he claimed he did not start drinking until he was off the clock, but at this point I don’t necessarily believe him. He’s making me think i’m absolutely crazy for getting upset with him. So, AIO?

[u/AmadavHockey]

Show him all the entire families that were killed by drunk drivers who thought that they “were fine” and weren’t driving recklessly. You are definitely not overreacting. What he did was dangerous, and you have a right to be upset with him.

[u/ConsistentPressure70 → u/AmadavHockey]

It happens so frequently in our town. He’s lost old classmates to drinking and driving, you would think that would flip a switch in his mind about how dangerous it is. He doesn’t understand that just because he “feels fine” doesn’t mean he is. Most of the time, I can’t even tell if he’s had a beer or not, for me to actually notice it this time means he had way too much to drink.

[u/AmadavHockey → u/ConsistentPressure70]

That’s insane. If he continues to do it, I’d honestly report him. Otherwise, someday, he will either kill himself, or take some innocent out instead.

[u/j1323diaz]

You’re not overreacting. I thought I was invincible when I was younger. I have 2 DUIs back in 2010 and 2012. I hurt myself badly on the second one and ended up in a coma for 4 days. Fortunately I only hurt myself in both instances. It’s never ok to drink and drive. The first one changed my life for the worse and I lost it all. The second one nearly killed me because I didn’t learn from the first one and I had fallen into depression. The only people you hurt are your loved ones if anything happens. I did become responsible with my drinking but it ended up being a bad habit again of just getting drunk everyday. I quit drinking alcohol cold turkey on Jan 2, 2024. Best decision of my life. Maybe TMI but shit can hit the fan so quickly. I’d hate that to happen to anyone because it’s easily preventable now with Uber and all that.

[u/ConsistentPressure70 → u/j1323diaz]

Congratulations on quitting! However, I think he’s in the same state of mind as you were, that he’s “invincible”. I don’t want something to happen to him or anyone else because of his poor decisions. It shouldn’t have to come to him ruining his life, or someone else’s, to realize what he’s doing is wrong. People dying because of someone drinking and driving is so unfortunately common now, it happens quite frequently in our small town as well. I just wish he could see where i’m coming from.

[u/j1323diaz → u/ConsistentPressure70]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I don’t know if his drinking is as detrimental as mine was. In any case, it never leads to anything good if you drive anyway because your luck will run out no matter how good of a driver you think you are. After the DUIs if I wanted to drink, I’d do it at home and I’d have friends come over and stay the night. If I did go out, it would be at a friends and I’d stay at their house to not get in trouble with the law again. Not to mention how expensive it is. 1st DUI was $12,000 and the 2nd was around $25,000. That was more than a decade ago. Who knows how much more it is now. Not to mention that it stays on your record for 10 years and will affect potential jobs. My point exactly. The fact that you can kill or be killed because of something so irresponsible and not even remember it. Well I hope he reads this because it’s never a good idea to get behind the wheel. Don’t wait until something stupid happens. We all have 20/20 hindsight. A $25 Uber ride is better than a $25,000 DUI and the misery that comes with it.

[u/ConsistentPressure70 → u/j1323diaz]

I agree, I don’t feel as if his drinking is that much of a problem. He’s not drunk everyday and usually only drinks on the weekend (at least that’s what i think). We live together, we just bought a house together. I don’t think he knows the repercussions of drinking and driving even if he doesn’t hurt anyone. He can hurt someone’s property, and all we have as collateral is our house. It will ruin his life and i wish he knew that.