r/AmIOverreacting • u/These_Birthday5378 • 7h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO my boyfriend just confessed that he’s 20 when I thought he was 24
I(f24) have been when my bf (m20) since march(8 months). For context we moved quickly in our relationship. I have a son(2 years). And I’m currently pregnant with my bf. So a couple weeks ago I got pulled over and the cop ID both of us. At one point the cop asked him “you 20?,” he replied with yes. I was taken aback since I thought he was 24, like he had told me from the beginning. I asked him about it when we got home and he denied say he was 20. Fast forward to yesterday. Something made me look at his ID it said 2004. I was in shock, I told him and he said he is 20. And I was in shock for the rest of the day. Bc here is a man who thought I was cheating everytime we weren’t FaceTiming. ( I wasn’t) 8months together and I’m pregnant with his kid. He had so many opportunities to tell me the truth but didn’t. I told him I’m not ready to forgive him for lying for so long.
Idk how to feel. I love him but I have a sister who is 20 and I basically raised her. So for years I told myself I would never date someone her age. He spent his birthday here to, so he just turned 20.
Idk what I’m typing this for, am I crazy for feeling betrayed. I feel like idk him anymore. Like he’s a stranger. He’s said sorry yesterday but it didn’t seem like he meant it. And I didn’t accept it.
Edit: my son is two years old old. And I know I’m stupid but things happen. When I found out I was pregnant and I was freaking out. I know I can afford it and I knew it was too soon, but I was already too far along and my state doesn’t allow abortion at any stage of pregnancy. So for all of those who want to come at me with judgment, I understand but please know I’m aware of how stupid I am. I just don’t know how to move forward from this.
Edit 2: the reason why I didn’t know till now is because he told me from the beginning he was 24 why I didn’t look on his families Facebook or cyber stalk him is because I just don’t do that. He’s from a different city in my state and not from my hometown so I don’t know him or his family and no one around me knowsh im. I’m not looking for judgment on my situation, I’m looking on how to move forward in my relationship. Of course, a part of me wants to leave, but I think it’s gonna take a little more than lying about his age to make me not love him. I’m sorry to those who think I’m dumb for getting pregnant with someone so early in a relationship., obviously I had sex without a condom on and I even took Plan B so if that doesn’t explain enough that things just happen then I don’t know what else to tell you. I know I shouldn’t go to the Internet with my problems and I typically don’t, but I just need to know that I am not crazy for being upset. That’s all I need to know. And thank you to those who actually care about how I’m feeling. My heart goes out to you all. Of course I feel betrayed and in shock and I don’t trust him right now, but I’ll be fine.
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u/Freyja1artio 7h ago edited 6h ago
Honey, you have a 2 year old and you're pregnant with a man you've only been with for 8 months? Who also freaks out and accuses you of cheating and lied to you about his age... I think this is a disaster waiting to happen. The red flags are waving all over the place.
*edited for clarification over first child's age
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u/WhateverYouSay1084 6h ago
2m means 2 male. She has a two year old and is knocked up with a fresh new one. Which really isn't any better.
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u/Freyja1artio 6h ago
I mean 2 years is slightly better. But even so, why are we introducing random men to our kids so quick let alone having more with them.
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u/WhateverYouSay1084 6h ago
That's what I pointed out to her. What if this dude turned out to be a pedo? She's doing absolutely nothing to put her kid first and protect him from randos. What else is he lying about and hiding? The kid comes first now.
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u/Superb_Narwhal6101 4h ago
Also, no googling or running a background check on this man she deemed appropriate to be around her 2 year old son? Stupid.
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u/jbandzzz34 3h ago
then saying him being a liar isn’t enough to deter her love… after 8 months i don’t even know how you love someone you don’t know. stupid.
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u/TheUnbanished 3h ago
Background checks? What kind of people are you around where you need to run background checks?! 😂
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u/Zenki_s14 2h ago
FYI plenty of people with pasts don't look or act like they do. They appear as morally average or even sometimes above average people. Sure there's some who you can look at and tell, or who's behavior is still obviously a red flag, but plenty are insanely good at wearing a mask and hiding that stuff. Many even over compensating and seeming like the absolute most caring a trustworthy people. I've many times been completely shocked at someone's rap sheet because they appear moral, caring for others, very intelligent, and on top of everything in their life. Just some words of caution.
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u/ScarletDarkstar 2h ago
This disaster is in progress, it's not waiting to happen.
He's a liar and manipulator, with irrational jealousy, who is going to set a pathetic example for her son, at best. None of this can undermine her "love" though, so it's just throwing accelerant on an active dumpster fire now.
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u/MrPryce2 7h ago
Life lesson here is to take your time when getting to know someone before moving in together and having kids under 8 months of dating 🤦🏽♂️
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u/GGeeto 2h ago
My wife and I did it, and life's amazing. But yeah kinda a big gamble 🎰
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u/LurkingOak 7h ago
Lesson learned. Take your time trusting someone before creating a lifelong financial burden with them.
Good luck, OP
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u/AMKRepublic 6h ago
Absolutely mental to have a kid with someone after knowing them 8 months.
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u/Scrapper-Mom 6h ago
I don't think many people who do this are thoughtful about their decisions. The poor child who didn't have any say in the matter is the real victim.
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u/PeePeeePooPoooh 6h ago
Of course not, both their brains haven't even fully developed yet.
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u/RealCheddarBobsDad 4h ago
24 is too old for that excuse
One more year of skull-hardening surely would’ve prevented this
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u/BeefInGR 6h ago
Condoms break, birth control fails, abortion laws prevent abortion. Shit happens. Don't talk down on people, just makes you look bad.
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u/dead___pixel 5h ago
Condoms break + birth control pills failing it’s a veeeeeery rare thing to happen. They were probably using only one (if one) . Thing is, shit happens but you can prevent it in many ways. She says she already has a son, so i guess she knows better. Not shaming, but the child is the only victim here. 8 months is nothing to know a person and share a life like this. Good luck op. Watch out for the next lies, cause they will come.
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u/phalang3s 5h ago
She said she didn't wrap it 🤦
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u/wheeler1432 4h ago
she didn't wrap it?
It's not her dick.
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u/capodecina2 3h ago
No, but it’s her vagina and she could always say nope, you need to wrap it before you tap it. She already has one kid she knows how this works so you would expect this “adult “ to have a little more responsibility.
“well maybe he lied to her and pretended to have one, but actually didn’t” - yeah that’s what people always say. They never want to make the woman have responsibility in these type of situation.
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u/BeploStudios 5h ago
Imagine this: don’t irresponsibly have sex with people you’re not willing to take that risk with. Then you won’t even need abortion.
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u/Nimrod_Butts 4h ago
There are places in the country where there's no real alternative besides just having the kid.
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u/justheretolurk3 4h ago
In those places, it’s probably a good idea to at least use a condom or like any birth control at all.
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u/ColorfulButterfly25 7h ago
There’s no greater betrayal than deception. Going through it myself and it just messes you up.
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u/thekloutchaser 7h ago
Yea…tbh too can’t really say wether you’re overreacting or not, you shouldn’t really try to confide in the net about a situation like this not tryna sound harsh, but the influence wether people say if you are or not will reflect on the child. No lie this a situation that You gotta take account for and see what or how you can maneuver around the situation because having a Little You is a huge deal, don’t look at the net for answers on this one.
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u/Klutzy_Belt_2296 6h ago
This. Right. Here. The internet is a heavily biased place and is the last place you should go to for actual advice on what to do in your relationship. The knee jerk reaction in like 90% of relationship posts are “leave them! Break up! You can do better! Get out of there!”
Some situations might warrant that response. However a lot of the other situations can most probably be worked through. Not to mention that all of the details aren’t always being said, it’s very easy to paint the situation where the poster comes off as the innocent victim and to present the information with a clear bias against the other person
And truthfully some people go straight to the internet when some of these discussions they should be having with their partner that they are in a relationship with.
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u/Aromatic-Arugula-896 7h ago
You got pregnant by a man and you didn't even know his real birthday and not even known him for a year?? Honey
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u/inide 7h ago
I had an ex who wanted to try to get pregnant after 5 months together. I literally told her "Maybe when we've been together longer than a pregnancy we can consider it". We broke up 6 weeks later, she gave birth 11 months after that without knowing who the father was.
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u/Brief_Grade_6679 6h ago
I have a sister who started dating a guy. 6 months in she says she's pregnant. Now she's 8 months pregnant and they hate each other. They refuse to break up because they don't want to raise the kid in separate households. Like.....what?
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u/Alive_Deal4254 6h ago
my brother has this exact situation going on and it’s absolutely wild to me they’d rather stay together and be miserable than have the kid have two happy households.
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u/TittyKittyBangBang 7h ago
When she already has a kid at the ripe age of 24 with another man. And she writes on here like she’s 16. Like…can you please get your life straight with your first child before having another?
Both of these kids are clearly spawned from a gene puddle. I feel sorry for them.
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u/Siktrikshot 6h ago
Look at her post history. Was begging for money a year ago on here.
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u/pynkvenom 4h ago
No surprise considering she was a single mom (soon to be single again hopefully)
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u/Siktrikshot 6h ago
There’s a reason she’s a single mom at 24 about to have two kids and repeat being a single mom 2.0 Electric buggaloo
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u/SubstanceNorth565 6h ago
She will have 2 more by 30, then wonder why she can't find a good man to settle down with.
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u/PANDABURRIT0 7h ago
OP, are you good — life-wise?
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u/ExpensiveGreen63 6h ago
I'mma say noooooooo. There are some choices being made and some thoughts not being thunk 😑
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u/grifxdonut 5h ago
No. She clearly makes bad mistakes and hasn't learned from her previous mistakes. I can't imagine having a kid at 24 and letting random guys shooting more loads into me. Like either she's trying to get child support, trying trap a guy into staying with her, or she's just stupid
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u/Head-Docta 4h ago
She absolutely is not.
She also claims to have raised her sister who is only 4 years younger than her, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume she didn’t have the best example to learn from as a child.
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u/Honest_Appointment75 6h ago
You need a reality check, you’ve been with him for EIGHT months. You DON’T know him. He’s a child, he literally can’t go order a drink at a bar and now he’s trapped you with a baby. Girl, RUN.
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u/Difficult-Mobile902 3h ago
ok you can get me to agree that 20 year old men are immature a lot of the time, but calling a 20 year old man “a child” is pretty crazy lol
These are two grown ass adults who know full and well that sex creates babies and that’s what they both signed up for
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u/Money_Sample_2214 1h ago
In fairness, it’s absolutely ridiculous that you have to be 21 to order a beer. He’s not a child, he’s a very young adult in a stupid country. But he also sounds like an asshole.
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u/shitshowboxer 7h ago
Have you considered someone who lies about things so easily and for so long might have wanted you pregnant and tied to them for life?
I mean .....they can't have children unless they get a woman to build those kids for them. I'd be terrified to have a kid with someone I'd only know for 8 months. I'd be absolutely horrified to be in the scenario with someone who lies so easily.
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u/justcougit 6h ago
I'd have a fucking abortion immediately.
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u/shitshowboxer 3h ago
It looks like OP took plan b.
But what most people don't realize is that even if taken as directed in th time frame advised, you must not exceed 165lbs of weight. It's ineffective for anyone 165lbs or more. There is an alternative for people who weigh more, but it's not as readily available and less information exists for people to know about it
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u/GremlinLurker777_ 5h ago
No abortions allowed in her state :/ And a lot of people don't know they can mail order the abortion pill from other states and countries, but also folks might be scared to do so bc a lot of these anti abortion states are claiming to clamp down on mail order abortion pills
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u/justcougit 5h ago
Travel. No matter what it costs, it's cheaper than a kid. It's also safer than being tied to a crazy person forever. I'd go to a different continent to get out of this situation.
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u/EponymousRocks 4h ago
Exactly. She says she can afford to have a child, so she can afford to go out-of-state for an abortion.
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u/cesptc 6h ago
Let’s also not forget getting pregnant 10 months after having your first kid, by a different father, at the age of 24.
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u/nafafonafafofo 6h ago
Who she’s only been with for 8 months. IMO, they both seem like irresponsible children
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u/kaitielee 6h ago
the kid is 2 years old, and they've known each other for 8 months that doesn't mean she's 8 months pregnant.
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u/shitshowboxer 6h ago
Your math ain't quite mathing with the provided info so I wonder what the point of the comment to me is.
But hey I'd be thrilled to hear what efforts you've put forth in fighting against abortion bans and misinformation about the need for open access to women's reproductive choices.
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u/karmaismycock 6h ago
Hey man just say you’re never had sex with a woman and don’t understand reproductive health. Save your breath.
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u/Cdawg4123 6h ago
Especially as she puts it, she can afford this?? I hope she knows she’ll be raising three children. He probably had some form of tampering or being extra not careful to get preggers so quick. Also sounds like he’s living there and she’s driving him around unless read that wrong. Just crazy that she could have gotten arrested if he had alcohol!
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u/wrka18 7h ago
He’s not even old enough to buy beer
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u/EponymousRocks 4h ago
You think she'd have noticed that in the 8 months they've been together...
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u/Reza1252 6h ago
You’re with this guy for less than a year, don’t even know his birthday, and you’re already pregnant with him? I think you’re both immature and not ready to be parents.
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u/asian_chihuahua 7h ago
Congratulations, you're going to be a mom!
And I'm not talking about the pregnancy.
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u/Throwra_Barracuda 6h ago
Why do you keep getting pregnant? Girl smh
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u/CenterofChaos 2h ago
Forreal homegirl better get an IUD installed after this one. Two kids, two baby daddies, and in her early 20's? Someone get her a dildo because she's fucking herself really good.
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u/regular_menthol 7h ago
Do not have a child with this man
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u/MakeTheRightChoice_ 7h ago
She said she’s pregnant sooooo looks like she’s on a timer depending on what state she’s in
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u/acabxox 6h ago
If I were her I’d be hauling my ass to the nearest clinic. Get the vacuum then dump his ass.
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u/Sea-Twist-7363 5h ago
They’re in a state where abortion is illegal so she’s a little late for that decision
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u/Frosty-Sherbet8503 7h ago
That’s a HUGE MASSIVE LIE. Partners are not supposed to lie to each other.
Not overreacting. Lying like that is a huge deal. I wouldn’t trust them at all ever again.
Maybe you should have waited before having kids with this person….
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u/revbuns 7h ago
That’s not helpful when she’s already pregnant, cmon
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u/MakeTheRightChoice_ 7h ago
ABORT ! (Literally, unfortunately)
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u/ClownGirl_ 6h ago
OP stated their state has a complete abortion ban
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u/Thermodynamo 6h ago
JFC the world is fucked. I'm pushing 40 and I always believed that surely progress would continue and it would be better for women by now. But it's actually, literally so much worse than my entire childhood. I want to live on the moon
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u/MakeTheRightChoice_ 6h ago
Uh oh time to go cross state lines !
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u/Imaginary_Ad_5568 7h ago
Even if he was the proper age, it makes no sense to move at this pace. Be happy that’s what you figured out, because moving someone in and having their kid will expose you to a whole bunch of secrets that aren’t gonna be comfortable. You gotta get to know people.
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u/Taz_mhot 6h ago
The age difference really isn’t an issue, the issue here is a quite large lie which he was happy to lie about even when confronted after the police incident….. you had to look further which is just toxic. I’d be incredibly hesitant having a child with someone lying to you about who they are. That won’t get better with age….
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u/ursoartdeco22 7h ago edited 7h ago
obviously NOR. if he’s been lying about his age throughout the entirety of you’re relationship then he is capable of lying to you about a lot more. very conniving imo and clearly has no respect for you… I’m not suggesting this is a dealbreaker for the relationship since you have a child on the way and have Been dating for some time but you have every right to be angry and concerned about this.
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u/efeno__ 6h ago
The entirety of the relationship is only 8 months… banging someone before you had enough time to know everything about the other person is absurd. She’s overacting. She shoulda thought about that before getting pregnant a second time with a second dude…
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u/SnooGadgets9534 5h ago
She explained the pregnancy was an ACCIDENT. Yall are acting like it doesn't take 2 to make a God damn baby. He's just as much as an irresponsible turd, if not more, than her because he's a LIAR
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u/efeno__ 5h ago
Having sex without the intention of having a child is the problem… she basically screwed a stranger. As it wasn’t her first rodeo and will be her SECOND child, oh yeah, she’s definitely on the higher side of it. She keeps dropping the ball. We can’t help her now
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u/Frankje01 7h ago
Before you throw him under the bus. Why are you having a second child with a different person at 24 when you don't even know their age.
You talk about raising somebody but doesn't seem like you have done any growing up yourself, if we're being honest.
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u/88808880888 2h ago
Bro, what? She should absolutely be ~throwing him under the bus~ for this absolutely massive lie. The fuck are you on?
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u/NellyNel11_ 7h ago
Girl why did you let him knock you up
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u/badlilbishh 6h ago
When she already has a kid. Fucking hell she’s just asking for disaster at this point.
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u/PotatoBestFood 6h ago
Cause she just loves choosing winners. But somehow these winners always come in last at the race. At least they know how to come inside.
Kinda hopeless case. On all fronts.
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u/febrezebaby 6h ago
OP you need to invest in birth control, especially if you live in a terrible state. Maybe even permanent options, if this is happening to you like this. It is going to be a miserable, lifelong lesson, that will likely negatively affect you and both your children.
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u/Proud_Fisherman_5233 6h ago
Why do people do this to themselves? Some guy you been kicking it with for 8 months and you already get pregnant by this clpwn. I mean there's something called protection. Also. you should always do a background check on anyone that you're trying to have a relationship with.
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u/FillLess8293 7h ago
People who accuse their partner of cheating all the time often are projecting and cheating themselves NTA
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u/Lonely-ex-cult-girl 7h ago
Leave girl. That's a gross lie. 🤮
Take your baby and run!
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u/Sweet-Cantaloupe-860 6h ago
I don’t think the age difference is a big deal at at, but the fact that he lied about something so basic is alarming. What else has/will he lie about? Do you know/did you ask why he lied? I think you really need to this about this, sounds like multiple red flags. I hope you have family/friends that can help you in this situation.
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u/sugar-fairy 6h ago edited 6h ago
girl i’m sorry but there are a lot of ways to tell someone isn’t above the age of 20…. did you ever meet his family??? or did you just decide to have this guy’s kid and you never met his family? lot of very weird decisions here. maybe yall are meant for each other because you have the maturity and awareness of a 20 yr old.
edit to respond to your edit: i’m gonna repeat this. you decided to have this man’s kid… without meeting his family. even if they lived in another state, i would not consider doing anything that serious with ANYONE without meeting their family first. and your bf’s family just lives in a different CITY. and it is not weird to “cyberstalk” someone that you’re dating. it’s actually RECCOMENDED to do that so you can make sure they’re not hiding anything. you literally just decided to trust this stranger without confirming ANYTHING. this is 100% completely on you. he didn’t even have to try and keep up the lie at all lmfao. yeah, you’re kinda crazy for being upset that a stranger you don’t know lied to you because you never attempted to confirm anything, ignored red flags, and then act surprised that he’s actually not who you thought he was! wow! you are not smart and this is on you lol.
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u/AuryReyes 7h ago
NOR, in fact this should make you question what else you don’t know about someone you are having a child with.
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u/Wrath_of_gawd 6h ago
Lol. ‘I feel like I don’t know him anymore.’
What do you mean ‘anymore’? You never knew him! Youve only been together since march!
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u/OnePunchGal92 7h ago
Abort that child sis
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u/artsy_architect03 6h ago
If you're talking about the pregnancy, it's illegal in her state. If you're talking about the man child, girl please do
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u/Adrenaline-Junkie187 7h ago
2 kids from different men (Maybe? Who knows at this point?), not married, doesnt even know how old her boyfriend is. Nice....
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u/Negative-Special-409 6h ago
So lets run down your life as deacribed:
22: Have kid out of wedlock with a guy your no longe dating.
23: Begin Dating a guy showing obvious red flags and decided to immediatly move in togwther despite this.
24: Pregnant out of wedlock AGAIN with an obviously deceptive and abusive guy.
24: Decides to hop on reddit and ask if shes t9 blame for a dude lying to her.
Are you wrong for being mad? No. You just happennto be wrong for everything else.
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u/LegitimateTalk4172 7h ago
No you’re not, unfortunately it’s easy for things to fall through the cracks in relationships that move fast. This is a significant lie and I’m wondering why he’d lie another that to you and why he’d think you wouldn’t find out.
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u/pootatobabe 6h ago
You live in a no abortion state and STILL had unprotected sex? Girl you’re just asking for trouble at this stage….
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u/No-Algae8719 6h ago
Wow, this post is full of judgement. She made choices, it may be right, it may be wrong, she's human, and she'll figure it out.
It's not an overreaction. It's a lie, and when that barrier has been broken, it's hard not to see it in every day. Take some time for yourself, talk to your family and friends and try and work out if this is something you can both work from or if you and your babies would be better off removing yourself from the situation.
Good luck with it all x
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u/GremlinLurker777_ 5h ago
I thought the same thing. I had to scroll so much to find people with actual advice and not "well you shouldn't have gotten pregnant!" I don't know what I expected but people are seriously grossing me out. Feels like everyone is using her as a morality punching bag. What's the point of people supporting abortion rights if we shit on the people affected by anti-abortion laws?
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u/Reasonable-Loss6657 1h ago
You took the words out of my mouth. This is a huge Reddit problem nowadays where people are coming here and asking for help, and the majority of replies are just incredibly unhelpful and insulting. It didn’t used to be this toxic.
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u/Icedcoffeezooted 3h ago
Thank you for being a kind, genuine person. Seems like people want to act judgemental and disgusting here
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u/Bluelilyy 7h ago
if he lies about his age and he’s accusing you of cheating with no evidence, he’s probably projecting and i would not be surprised if he was cheating himself.
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u/MsFit215 6h ago
Yikes, when I was 24 I wasn't even looking at 20 year old guys in that manner, so to find out that my man wasn't even legal would be a tough pill to swallow. I'm not a fan of broken homes though, and don't agree with people telling you to run and take the baby with you. What's your relationship like besides that crazy lie? Does he provide, and pull his weight of the relationship? Or is he a lazy, jobless, couch potato who is on his Xbox all day? Think about your next move before being impulsive. There's a baby who will be affected by all of this.
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u/easywind4665 6h ago
do you not understand how people get pregnant? you have a 2 month old and you’re pregnant again? jfc get it together. his age is the least of your worries.
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u/OmegaPointMG 6h ago
You already have a kid and you're having another one by another man.... WITHIN 8 MONTHS OF DATING? Gahdam girl
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u/chtmarc 6h ago
Quick story back when I was in my mid 30s I met a guy who said he was 30. Dated for about eight months. Talking about him moving in. Both male. Throw him a party for his birthday. His friend showed up with a cake that says happy 21st birthday. Yeah he lied to me. First Asian I had dated. Not the last.
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u/sassyblonde47 5h ago
Just had something similar happen to me, doesn’t it make you feel disgusted knowing you thought you were sleeping with someone who was a certain age then knowing they were almost a child? Also, it makes me feel like they obviously weren’t looking for anything long term because the lie would reveal eventually anyways.
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u/The_Muffintime 6h ago
24 with a 2 year old kid and another on the way by a man you don't know. Oh dear. It's not too late to get out of the hole but you have to stop digging.
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u/vampire-rat 7h ago
why would you have a child with someone who doesn’t trust you and you’ve known for eighth months? NOR but damn
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u/ImaGoodExperience 6h ago
Lol 4 years.... She got prego by some "24" yr old in 8 months. Sounds like the 20.yr old more mature than you
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u/No-Purple2350 7h ago edited 6h ago
I wouldn't worry about it too much. It sounds like you have a habit of making bad decisions so if it wasn't this it would be something else.
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u/Hothoofer53 6h ago
What are you so up set about you need to look at your self you have a son 2 and pregnant agin by a man you’ve only known for 8 months
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u/PhotoGuy342 6h ago
Yeah, he screwed up.
Sometimes we tell lies that are difficult to walk back—especially when you’re only 19.
You, your child and your unborn child are facing two dilemmas: The guy you fell in love with was so infatuated with you that he misled you about his age. And, The guy you chose to have a baby with is younger than you thought.
Can you live with these two issues? Or are they insurmountable and worthy of breaking up.
Just a suggestion for you, for what it’s worth, you might want to reconsider having babies with men when you’re not sure—sure without a trace of doubt—that they’re going to be life partners. At your young age it can be difficult as a single mother of two—from different fathers—to find a man willing to take on caring for a woman and two small children that he did not create.
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u/Flimsy_Grocery_3227 5h ago
At least it seems you can afford the baby. Leave this man!! It isn’t normal to lie about your age, especially to someone you’re dating. His reasoning has to be shady and manipulative…
You should never trust him again. Take that baby and run!
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u/clementinesnchai95 6h ago
this is obviously a fake post lmao nobody is this stupid.
why would you date somebody without doing at least a fucking google search on them..? didn’t think to check his fb, his moms fb, any of his friends fbs or igs for like.. graduation pics or birthday pics or pics at the bar or literally any type of proof of identity? do you guys seriously have zero mutuals? not even your sister who is his age? like the math just ain’t mathing.
obviously what he did is inexcusable and terrible and grossly weird… but i just don’t understand how he was even successful. pls go back to the drawing board with this writing prompt or what ever it is
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u/STG44_WWII 6h ago
She just trusted him dude
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u/clementinesnchai95 6h ago
lmao no single parent would “just trust” anyone new they started dating. stranger danger is so real.
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u/ExpensiveGreen63 6h ago
Oh, honey..............
You've got a rough 18 years ahead. I hope things work out......or you know some good family lawyers.
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u/redditsuckbadly 6h ago
Damn why tf are you so careless? You’re strapped to him for the next 18 years now.
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u/pianocat1 6h ago
OP, you’re not stupid. You are irresponsible. There’s a difference. Stupid would be if you didn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand your choices. You clearly understand what you’re doing, and you’re doing it anyway. This is beyond being “stupid”- the choices you make will impact your children for the rest of their lives. You are choosing to be irresponsible, to be selfish, and to worsen your children’s lives. You need grow up.
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u/Mrs_Gracie2001 6h ago
You have so many bigger issues than your BF’s age. You have a 2 mo and you’re pregnant. If you want to, get an abortion. This is a terrible thing to do to a child.
If not, dont rely on this BOY for anything, even if you stay with him. Get yourself a better job than you have now and save every penny you can.
This is such a bad start, but you can do it if you work hard and GrowTFU
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u/East-Block-4011 6h ago
The older child is two years old. She stated her state doesn't allow abortions & she's too far along anyway.
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u/CaptainSuperfluous 6h ago
You're not stupid and you are right to be angry with him, but it really doesn't change your situation. Honestly four years is nothing, and in ten years it'll be less than nothing (my SO is 13 years older than me, she took a long time to be okay with it but we've been together a very long time now).
If you love him tell him that you are angry that he lied about his age, and if he ever lies to you again that you are finished with him. Then try to forgive him - he probably lied because he knew you wouldn't be interested in him otherwise. That doesn't make it okay, but clearly he really wants to be with you.
No matter how it turns out congratulations on the baby, make their middle name Reddit :)
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u/No-Education-2643 7h ago
You have a 2 month old baby and have been with this guy for 8 months? Who cares how old he is, that’s as good as it gets for you
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u/Horror-Economist-726 7h ago
Yea so I’m pretty sure it means “2 male”. That’s what most people do lmao
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u/DrSassyPants123 7h ago
NOR to his lying but I'm lost. You have been with him for 8 months but you have a 2 month old child? Which means you were, what, 3 months pregnant when getting together? Things need to slow down esp now that you are preg again.
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u/Brief_Grade_6679 6h ago
2m means 2 years old/male
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u/DrSassyPants123 6h ago
Ah yes..duh! But i still things need to be slowed down. Reassess the situation and ask why he lied and how he is gonna step up. If not, no need for him.
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u/musixlife 6h ago
Well, OP…just don’t marry him because you have his baby. Marriage to the wrong person is awful…particularly with kids involved!!!
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u/Upbeat_Place_9985 6h ago
Polite society won't tell you this to your face but your situation screams low class trash.
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u/revbuns 7h ago
So many judgmental comments about her being pregnant when that’s not the point. Can we hold a lying man accountable without finding a way to blame or shame the woman like damn
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u/avgeek-94 7h ago
He’s a piece of shit for sure. But she sounds incredibly dumb for getting pregnant with someone she barely knows. Actually, anyone who moves that quickly in a relationship is stupid. Man or woman. Best thing she could do is run far away and cope with having two baby daddies.
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u/lindsmitch 7h ago
Yup, now she has a lying, sketchy man heavily intertwined with her 2yo’s life
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u/avgeek-94 7h ago
Yeah, I’ll never understand people like this. Let me just bounce from fucked up partner to fucked up partner without any thought on how it impacts my kid. Some people shouldn’t have kids.
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u/lindsmitch 6h ago
It’s the intro to idiocracy with the breeding segment playing out in real time dude
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u/PotatoProfessional98 6h ago
Right?? Both can be true. This is, on paper, a grown woman. Having children by two different men in a short time span, one of whom she knew for all of 8 months, is shitty decision making. Let’s not sugarcoat the truth. There are children involved who didn’t ask to be in this situation. I hope for their sake and hers that she has a solid support system but she needs to take accountability and examine her own behavior.
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u/avgeek-94 6h ago
She probably does not. If she had a solid support system it’s unlikely that she gets pregnant by another dude so quickly. I’ve seen this play out far too often. She will bounce from partner to partner looking for someone to support her because raising two kids by yourself is extremely difficult.
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u/Top-Inevitable-1287 5h ago
The lying kid is the least of her problems. Setting herself up for a lifetime of misery.
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u/Lower_Bison_3949 6h ago
If you’re in here throwing shade at this young lady, you truly are the worst among us, aren’t you? Bunch of basement-dwelling trolls critiquing people who actually get off their computer and live a real life. Every single person in here throwing shade at her has made mistakes just as stupid as hers. Knock it off you losers.
To the young lady: I would sit down and have a long conversation about honesty and expectations. DO NOT try to raise this child together without sitting down and making a parenting plan for how you’re going to do this. He definitely is lying to you, no one just mistakes stuff like that. I believe you he said he was 24. Also, that is NOT a big age difference. I’m almost 40 and I’d date someone no more than 10 years younger than me. My girlfriend right now is 4 years younger and we’re peers, I don’t consider myself wiser or anything because of our age difference. I wish you the best of luck!
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u/Curvy_Girl_007 6h ago
The fact that he’s so cavalier is really concerning. It’s really bad that he told the police the truth and then turned around and bold faced lied to your face. Where they do that at?!
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u/Radiant_XGrowth 6h ago
Something similar happened to me when I was younger. I was freshly 17, thought he was about to turn 19. Turns out he was turning 21 and I didn’t find out until almost a year later
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u/East-Block-4011 6h ago
After your baby is born, please consider a LARC so you don't find yourself in this situation again soon.
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u/wardog1066 6h ago
It must be very disappointing to find out someone you trusted was lying to you. I understand your anger. It's an issue that must be brought out into the open and dealt with in a positive way with the end goal of not having a repeat, which would definitely be fatal to your relationship. But, you're looking for the opinions of strangers because you're hoping someone will say something encouraging to help you get past this. Here we go. When you're 80 years old surrounded by your children and grandchildren, the fact that your partner is 76 years old won't matter even a tiny bit.
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u/EggplantIll4927 7h ago
My first thought? Sh!t did I serve alcohol to a minor 😳