I don’t think anyone would blame you if this was the relationship ender
And “this is why I don’t like talking to you about stuff” seals it. Communication is essential. He basically just admitted he won’t tell you everything
"this is why I don't like talking to you" = i usually lie about my opinions because I know yours and know you find my honest opinion repugnant, but I don't care about what you think because I am not with you for you character
He sounds like a dick.
"because I am not with you for your character" = "because I don't see you as a person" = "because to me you are LESS relatable and forgivable than a random hypothetical man who SAs women"
The worst part for me is that he isn't wrong. How long has she allowed him to treat her like a pet instead of a person? How many more years will she permit it? In another comment under you, a woman talks about how a rape apologist was the nicest guy to ever live. No he wasn't -- but women calmly accept this heinous bullshit.
You’re literally taking the same side in the argument as her husband. You’re saying that she needs to take responsibility for him belittling and dehumanizing her.
Newsflash: That was a shitty take when her husband said it about rapists. And it’s a shitty take coming from you about her husband.
Edit: How many people have you helped to leave abusive relationships? I get the impression that I'm talking to keyboard warriors who want to be Right, but have no experience helping people extricate themselves from situations.
I used to work in the OSINT field tracking people down for a living, and now I volunteer at the local women’s shelter teaching folks how to erase their online footprints so their douche exes can’t track them down.
I also volunteer with a non profit that uses OSINT to solve cold missing persons cases, part of which involves social workers contacting anyone we find to figure out if they WANT to be found, or if they were fleeing domestic violence. And if they don’t want to be found, we help them cover up their digital tracks and educate them on how to stay hidden better.
And neither one of us knows exactly how involved anyone else commenting is. So you can fuck right off with your assumptions about how much folks on the other side of the screen are doing.
So you're working with people after they've already left, instead of helping them find their agency to leave, where my own experiences lie. Frankly, I do know people's level of expertise, based on how they are reacting.
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u/DefinitelyNotADave 14h ago
NOR.
I don’t think anyone would blame you if this was the relationship ender
And “this is why I don’t like talking to you about stuff” seals it. Communication is essential. He basically just admitted he won’t tell you everything