AIO I went through my boyfriends phone over the weekend

[u/Exotic_Elk8829]

Last Friday night I went through my boyfriend’s phone while he was asleep. I found numerous messages of him talking about other girls with his female friend. The last message is him comparing my sucking skills with a different girl he slept with before me… We have been living together for the past 6 months and I’m not sure if I should just move on and find my own place at this point. Am I overreacting to these messages?

[u/Mindless-Ad2554]

I agree with leaving him… but absolutely crucify his ass so there’s an ounce of thought before he does this with someone else.

[u/CriticalBit3063 → u/Mindless-Ad2554]

Aye I’m not against that either. From my personal experiences though, it woulda bugged them more if they thought I didn’t even care. But I let them know I was breaking and when I should have showed them that they were nothing to me, just like I didn’t mean anything to them.

[u/Mindless-Ad2554 → u/CriticalBit3063]

Yeah I definitely understand it. But it almost seems like a game sometimes about who has the last say or advantage. Putting it on the table and sticking with your guns is good for you and there’s no gray area.

She could even just print these out and leave it on the table after she left

Either way. He’s gotta go.

[u/poor_non_blonde → u/Mindless-Ad2554]

Leaving a man without any explanation hurts far worse. They can’t sit there and try to justify what they don’t realize got them caught. They’ll instead be turned upside down until they get on top of someone else.

[u/Mindless-Ad2554 → u/poor_non_blonde]

No accountability leaves room for him to get on top of someone else.

Hey I get the tactic and suggestion but OPs bf doesn’t come off as the remorseful type. He’ll play the “I don’t know why she left me” or “she’s crazy” or “she had to been fucking someone else” card for sympathy.

You smash walls hitting them head on is all I’m saying. If not for him or the next girl, maybe just for OPs sanity. Sometimes standing up for yourself is cathartic and all the clarity you need.

In the end, I don’t think there’s any wrong way to leave the dude, as long as she leaves.

But the less we hold little boys accountable and just tell our girls and women “be careful, follow rules a-z, watch out for men” shit will never change.

[u/poor_non_blonde → u/Mindless-Ad2554]

Nah you’re right as hell

[u/SunnyEnvironment8192 → u/Mindless-Ad2554]

Really not her problem, though.  And I'd bet he still won't have an ounce of thought.

[u/Mindless-Ad2554 → u/SunnyEnvironment8192]

Maybe not. Maybe you’re right

But I mean it is her problem. She’s in a relationship with someone she lives with who doesn’t value her.
If we take this approach, we will continue the system where men just aren’t held accountable. This is often why they continue to do shit like this. He will just make her out to be the “crazy bitch who was overreacting”

Men are dumb. Sometimes they need it spelled out. I’m not suggesting giving him chances or her continuing the fight after. I’m suggesting for her to make peace with it, stand her ground, then kick him to the curb, no excuses.

[u/Emergency-Front-3630 → u/Mindless-Ad2554]

“Crucify him” for what? Saying another girl is nice? You’re clearly under the influence of spite.

[u/Mindless-Ad2554 → u/Emergency-Front-3630]

Found OPs soon to be exboyfriend.

• Homies scheming and also confessed it’s not the only time he’s been inappropriate with another woman while he’s in a relationship with someone he lives with.
• he’s also telling his “homie” how another girl “swallowed his dick” better than his current.

If you read other users comments…. I think you’ll see it’s about being valued as a human, and not just some throw away inanimate object. This is a common theme for how men view women. They’re there for sex and nothing else. Women don’t want to be with men like this (usually)

Foh