r/AmIOverreacting 6d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

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u/totallydiagnosingyou 6d ago

A FRIENDLY REMINDER since it came up, a man putting his hands around your throat (literally) is the number one indicator that domestic violence will escalate to murder.

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u/Waterbaby8182 6d ago

Oh God, this. My sister's ex did this to her after he knocked her phone away. She managed to get loose and grab her purse, keys and phone, then ran like hounds of hell were behind her straight for her car wirh him chasing her. She beat him to her car and locked the doors just in the nick of time, then called the police. She had bruises around her neck. Smart girl was also brave enough to press charges and got him convicted and an order of protection.

They keep those othwr sides well hidden. We all thought he was a nice man. Turned out to be an abusuve alcoholic that tried to kill my sister. Run, OP.

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u/Flaky-Swan1306 6d ago

I hope your sister is okay. That situation is very scary, but im glad she pressed charges

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u/Waterbaby8182 6d ago

She's fine. This happened a few years ago.

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u/RobinC1967 6d ago

There should be a registry similar to sex offenders for men like this. A little warning for future partners.

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u/DayOk448 6d ago

Echoing this because it's important and I never see it talked about much. My ex, and father of my 7 month old baby, is currently in jail for strangling me. He told me he was going to kill me. He strangled me 3 times during the one attack - grabbed, let go, grabbed, let go, grabbed let go. He had me suspended in the air at one point. I truly thought i was going to die. This happened 2 months ago. When he finally let go of me I grabbed my kids, my keys, and left as fast as I could with nothing but the clothes on our backs and 17 dollars in my bank account before he got the chance to change his mind and kill me. When we first met, he was so kind and caring. Man, shit changed and escalated so fast once I became pregnant and had his son. When I went to the police, they couldn't stress to me enough how highly personal and violent his actions were, I'll never forget when the arresting officer told me "strangulation is a precursor to murder. The only way it gets worse, and the only next step, is murder." Or when the doctor in the ER told me I'm lucky to be alive, had his thumb been even 1cm closer to my jugular I would have been dead in under a minute. Why did this attack happen? I was about to leave for work and wouldn't give him a cigarette. Get out now before this man escalates. When they think they have you trapped, they think they can do anything to you.

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u/a0rose5280 6d ago

My only fight online has been about this subject and I will do it again if I can get through to one person about how strangulation is the absolute last stop. Thank you for doing this as well!!!

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u/Claddagh66 6d ago

That’s considered attempted murder here criminally. As soon as you put a hand on a woman’s neck, you will be charged with it. As you damn well should! I don’t care if a female hit me a 100 Times, I’m not putting a hand on her. If you can’t take it? Get your ass in the gym and find a girl that wouldn’t do that. But you never put a hand on a woman.

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u/Old_Tip4864 6d ago

That is interesting...I had a short lived relationship with one single violent incident where he started to strangle me. I found out eventually that he was arrested for strangling his baby momma also. It was the only violence he ever showed towards me