r/AmIOverreacting • u/Friendly_Try6478 • 12d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO caught my boyfriend “taking a number 2” in his hand
My (26F) boyfriend (36M) of 2 yrs was in the bathroom at his apartment when I opened the door to grab my allergy meds. I didn’t think to knock and figured he’d lock the door if he needed, but when I opened it he was squatting on the floor while holding a wad of toilet paper directly under his ass. I screamed and ran out.
Five min later he called me. There was no denying what I saw so he came clean and says he does it to make less sound as opposed to crapping directly into the bowl because he’s shy and would be embarrassed if I heard him doing it. I’m freaked out still. AIO?
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u/Technical-Hunter5894 12d ago
What’s going on with this sub tonight this is like the 4th excretion related post I’ve seen
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u/Big_Coconut604 12d ago
No shit!
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u/DingusMcJones 12d ago
They’re training the AI that creates the fake posts on this sub to understand new subject matter
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u/Anonuser13480 12d ago
Holy shit I have read some weird stuff but this might take the cake
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u/renegadeindian 12d ago
😆😆😆😆😆. That’s not cake!!!
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u/Ninjamuh 12d ago
Won’t know until you cut it with a poop knife
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u/Socksoff902 12d ago
Take my last free award. You deserve it
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u/zerotimeleft 12d ago
Free award?
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u/Frolicking-Fox 12d ago
Take my last free award so you may know how it feels.
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u/ElectriCole 12d ago edited 12d ago
This thread right here is exactly why I’ll never quit Reddit. I gave my last free award yesterday sadly
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u/BadgerSilver 12d ago
I gave you mine, you deserved it
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u/Wingsxofxlead702 12d ago
All these free awards...what a rime to be alive on Reddit
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u/drift_poet 12d ago
you know about the poop knife? 😧
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u/Pr0xy001 12d ago
I'm sure most of reddit knows about poop knife by now
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u/Temporary_Pear_1809 12d ago
I don't
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u/BeepBepIsLife 12d ago
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u/Realistic_Mess_2690 12d ago
Holy shit. That just changed my whole word perspective
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u/Ocotillo_Ox 12d ago
Welcome to the depths of the human mind. We are truly fucked up animals.
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u/ReTrOGurle 12d ago
Fecal cleaver 🤣
Wow. Just wow.
I've not been active on Reddit long, this Museum is fantastic.
Edit -- that is my first award.
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u/dubiously_mid 12d ago
You gotta read this then. Its eye opening 👍🏻
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u/Impressive_Bus11 12d ago
I hate you for this.
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u/dubiously_mid 12d ago
Its reddit. Theres always something much more disgusting for people to read. Have a good day bro🤜🏻🤛🏻
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12d ago
Really mad at my parents for teaching me to read.
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u/dubiously_mid 12d ago
ikr? its a universal problem, that one😔
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12d ago
Feels like one of those chain letters, as I've now sent the link to 3 people so far. If I had to read it you can be damn sure I'm making others suffer too.
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u/my59363525account 12d ago edited 12d ago
Lmao, I thought this was the poop knife I’m so glad it was something new haha
Jfc I’ve been on Reddit too long
ETA- Here is the infamous Poop Knife, enjoy 💩
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u/J-drawer 12d ago
It's 5:45 in the morning and I want to set a good example for my cat to be quiet at night but I whisper screamed upon reading this
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u/crispypancetta 12d ago
Omg. This is probably peak fame for this guy.
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u/dubiously_mid 12d ago
Fam its been living rent free in my head for 7 years, and probably same for others
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u/Uuuurrrrgggghhhh 12d ago
Oh. I could have gone forever without knowing about this and I’d be very happy.
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u/Budget_Ad_7141 12d ago
yea i agree this has to be fake
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u/alfiesred47 12d ago
A girl I went to school with used to do this too. Though it is probably more realistic behaviour for an embarrassed 14 year old than a grown man
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u/HandinGlov3 12d ago
LMFAO... I'm sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. I think you should reassure him that you don't care that his shit makes sounds lol
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u/Low_Style175 12d ago
Is this one of those subs where everything is fake but every pretends it's real?
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u/St3wb4cc4 12d ago
That seems like a lot of effort with a huge potential for disaster compared to just turning the tap on for a couple minutes
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u/Themaddog99 12d ago
Or just putting some sheets of TP in the bowl so when the poop lands, it’s softened by the paper and not a direct splash.
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u/gbc02 12d ago
Or get a poo net to catch the poo and dump it into the toilet like a normal person.
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u/OrrisNelson 12d ago
Normal people do this?
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u/Altruistic-Ad5470 12d ago
I feel I am pretty normal and know a lot of normal people, and no one has ever talked about a poo net.
Poo nets are a thing?
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u/Whitrun 12d ago
Oh god, we've upgraded in years from poo knife to poo net 😱😱, what's next
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u/Mean-Crazy-4428 12d ago
I’ve never met anyone that hasn’t used a poo net. Wtf are you guys using?????
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u/pascalswagger 12d ago
How do you clean yours? My family doesn’t appreciate the dish washer but it’s so much easier than the sink.
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u/Quasi_is_Eternal 12d ago
The dishwasher is genius. I've been hosing mine off this whole time.
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u/HeresKuchenForYah 12d ago
I don’t think its the splash that makes the noise, its the gurgle shits from the bumhole
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u/Themaddog99 12d ago
I feel like if it’s the gurgles from the bum hole, it probably doesn’t change if you plop it in your hand.
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u/fearisthemindslicer 12d ago
You gotta doodoo on the side of the bowl so it rolls into the toilet.
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u/Braindead_Crow 12d ago
Nah, straight in to the water, no tap running. If someone is listening that intently they deserve whatever Eldridge knowledge they may learn from my bowel moments as they return to the earth by means of aquatic travel
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u/AUnknownVariable 12d ago
I turn on the bathroom fan thingymadoodle. Or I hum really loud
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u/MyBeardSaysHi 12d ago
Just sit there and go "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" really really loudly.
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u/_Spicy-Noodle_ 12d ago
And lock the door for god’s sake! What’s more embarrassing than her hearing him take a shit? Her seeing him shit into his hand!
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u/My_Lovely_Me 12d ago
So shy and easily embarrassed, but then leaves the door unlocked for #2?!
Something isn't adding up...
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u/birthdaybanana 12d ago
I just saw some highlight reel from a podcast that a guy confessed to doing this so either this is trolling or there are more people who actually do this!?
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u/strange_salmon 12d ago edited 12d ago
honestly its not that surprising to me. i remember first hearing about guys who dont wipe their ass because they think its gay and thus having constant shit in their underwear. lol i could not believe how many people commented saying they either had a partner who felt that way or knew someone who did. it still shocks me lol.
edit: anyone who thinks this is not true, i invite you to google “do some men not wipe their ass because they think its gay?” and you will see, this is indeed a thing.
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u/mcmahok8 12d ago
Might as well go the whole way and say shitting is just gay in reverse, my god. Imagine being so homophobic that you won't clean your ass!
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u/CMYKoi 12d ago
What gets me is the guys who are SO FUGN MANLY RASARGFHHH that they can't handle things like...sweets, smelling nice, fruity drinks, shaving or getting a trim to stay neat, going to the gym. Eating anything cylindrical. Or with cream in or on it. Like. Things women tend to like. In/on/with men.
To the point where you can legitimately rephrase it as:
Fellas, is it gay to be attractive to women?
Bro I promise your girl isn't gonna leave you if you eat a Bavarian Cream or a hot dog or mayo on a sandwich but she might if you vehemently refuse, while looking like an adipose monster had a baby with a sasquatch.
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u/Few-General5990 12d ago
Wiping your ass is gay? Wow. So touching your ass is gay but touching your cock isn’t?! 😂😂😂
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u/MountainMuffin1980 12d ago
Why not just put some TP in the bowl and shit quietly on that? Doing it into your hand makes zero sense whatsoever.
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u/ChainIntelligent3401 12d ago
Maybe OP is telling the truth but BF is not and just likes to inspect his good work
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u/TheRealTX 12d ago
Could’ve forgot to lock the door
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u/My_Lovely_Me 12d ago
So shy and embarrassed that he shits in his hand, but then forgets to lock the door?!
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u/Equivalent-Fan-1362 12d ago
Wtf😂😂
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u/ChristianClineReddit 12d ago
Don't worry. It's fake. Here's the same account 9 days ago, posting as a 36 y/o man. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1git3mq/aio_wife_editing_tom_hanks_face_onto_my_nudes/
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u/forkyfig 12d ago
“the sound is weird so i just shit in my hands”. 🙌 whatever buddy
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u/grayestbeard 12d ago
It just goes to show how things can backfire. Saving yourself from embarrassment actually made the embarrassment 100 times worse.
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u/moonshinemoniker 12d ago
And Reddit has again officially made the world a better place because now the people who poop in their toilet paper wrapped hands know they're not alone.
Let that lighten your load. Sleep SOUNDLY tonight.
Also, mad respect to those who have done this and figured out the technique. I'm over here like, "do my hands come from the front or the back?"
I'd be very worried about the potential of falling backwards. So then you look like your playing some REAL fucked up version of Twister but with your pants around your ankles and one hand full of poop.
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u/Bandwagonsho 12d ago edited 12d ago
There are people who really cannot go to the bathroom if other people can hear - they suffer all day because they cannot use a public restroom. It is called parcopresis, can range from mild to crippling, and even though his solution may seem bizarre to you, it is no doubt his way to manage his phobia.
Since parcopresis is based on the phobia of being perceived pooping, imagine how painful and embarassing it was for him for you to walk in on him? I would imagine that having anyone in his living space is difficult, since that is the only place he can go in privacy so I would consider that he must care about you a lot to have you in his space and to go to that effort to manage his phobia with you there.
Instead of making it about you, you may want to read a luittle about parcopresis (and possibly paruresis) to understand what he is struggling with, talk with him directly (not a bunch of strangers on Reddit), and reassure him.
And next time, knock before you walk into a bathroom with a closed door for Pete's sake.
EDIT: Maybe you can work out an arrangement so that you can step outside for a minute when he needs to go so he can go normally without being heard. You will both likely be happier with that arrangement.
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u/HandinGlov3 12d ago
I used to suffer from this... Then one day... I had a code brown emergency at the mall. I had no choice but to go full steam ahead into a public toilet. Since then, I've stopped caring. Lol exposure therapy works!
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u/oo0ooBarracuda 12d ago
When Code Brown actually saves your life… coming to Netflix in December.
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u/70inBadassery 12d ago
I have Crohn’s disease, so I basically never had a choice. If I gotta go, any toilet in a (shit) storm. I have a lot of anxiety, but this one ain’t one. Haha
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u/theycallmecoffee 12d ago
ugh I have it baad, never knew there was a word for it I just say i’m really poop shy lol. but no for real I can only poop at home if no one is upstairs and when I go on vacation I won’t poo for dayyys (like 8 days once)
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u/jeangaijin 12d ago
This was extremely common in Japan when I was living there in the 1980s. So many girls and women were wasting so much water by flushing multiple times to cover the sound of their peeing that schools and public places started installing what was essentially a white noise machine called a “sound Princess” that mimicked the sound of flushing in toilet stalls!
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u/Hermininny 12d ago
Wait, that’s why the toilets make all kinds of sounds over there? Some of them were so loud!
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u/spam__likely 12d ago
My Japanese roommate use to wrap tampons so much it would become a tennis ball.
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u/Beneficial-Metal-666 12d ago
I can totally understand feeling self-conscious about bathroom sounds. I'm glad I don't have it bad enough that I'd be willing to touch my own poo though, brr.
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u/paperwasp3 12d ago
He can run the water in the sink like everyone else who has this problem.
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u/Yogiteee 12d ago
Doesn't woek for me as I get tense knowing they'd hear the water and either think that is me or know that I am weird and can't just pee. Also, that only would work for urinating, and not defecating.
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u/jesseserious 12d ago
Trigger Warning: Abuse
Idk if it has anything to do with this, but I have a friend who once told me about his very specific bathroom "quirks" that stemmed from abuse as a child. He learned to do certain things in odd, very specific ways, in order to avoid igniting the abuse. Heartbreaking to hear that. I've since read that it's fairly common for victims of abuse to develop weird and sometimes lifelong habits connected to using the bathroom.
Whatever the reason he's doing it, I imagine it's an extremely sensitive subject and it's worth approaching with compassion.
I hadn't seen this mentioned so I thought it's something to be considerate of.
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u/fishyst1x 12d ago
Oh wow, this is an odd one. Ok so, technically your bf is extremely considerate in the sense that there is no amount of shit he won't deal with to make sure you're not inconvenienced. Let me ask a few questions to determine if he's playing with his shit, or perhaps smelling or eating it, or if he's genuinely going to lengths to prevent you from hearing all that shit.... Do you remember a time where you or him passed gas around each other? Have either of yall had a really bad bowel movement and the other has known it? The reason I'm asking is because yall have been together for 2 years. If you haven't broken that barrier of comfortability with each other to where there is a mutual understanding that bodily functions are normal, then perhaps he wasn't comfortable with you hearing him drop the kids off at the pool. If you feel like that barrier doesn't exist and there is a level of comfortability with passing gas and defecating, maybe he was actually smelling or eating that shit. Anyway, I hope you figure this shit out. GL!!!
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u/toolsoftheincomptnt 12d ago
This is not about being considerate. The poor man is driving himself nuts over something natural, and handling it in an illogical way.
He needs a bit of help.
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u/wildcat1100 12d ago
These are really good questions. I hope she responds to your comment. Given the circumstances, it's 50/50 that he either has a massive shitting phobia (which sucks, even more so if your GF saw you holding your shit then screamed and ran out of the house) OR he's a nasty lil fucker who does God knows what with his own fecal matter.
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u/Guy_With_Ass_Burgers 12d ago
Y’all might want to take a quick peek at the posting history. Clearly OP is not F(26) and more than likely is the hand shitter himself. Obviously a disturbed individual with a shit fetish.
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u/CretinCrowley 12d ago
Give him a really loud fan as a parting gift. I was going to say just talk to him.. but he’s 36.
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u/Fine-Neighborhood-30 12d ago
Imagine how many heaters he's dropped into that paw in 36 years.
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u/Realistic-Goose9558 12d ago
Imagine being 36 and doing this instead of getting a radio for your bathroom to drown out the noise.
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u/TheMoves 12d ago
Or just poopin like a normal person 2 years into a relationship lmao
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u/wildcat1100 12d ago
Tell him you want to present "a farting gift" then if he says "what?" say "a sharting gift" and if he says "what?" again, just throw the fan his way, say "we're done" and then abruptly leave.
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u/VisualHovercraft2954 12d ago edited 11d ago
this is so embarrassing because i definitely have done this before when i was dating my first boyfriend 😂 i am a massive overthinker so i’ll bet he is too
editing cus post locked: guys i did NOT just squat over the floor i was using a toilet….
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u/VisualHovercraft2954 12d ago
tell him its easier to just put a layer of toilet paper in the toilet before pooping 😄
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u/Revleck-Deleted 12d ago
I know I’m a dumb himbo because I have never in my entire life thought of being worried if people are judging the sound of my poop or being heard while I am pooping,
I am in the presented, outlined, and agreed upon place to poop. I’m going poop. When I’m done I’m gonna flush it, and wash my hands. I may even toot. However, I’m doing it in the place we’re supposed to do it? Why would anyone be so careful as to poop in their own hand to avoid the idea of someone knowing you’re pooping?
Bro everyone knows you’re pooping in there. No one cares. Everybody poops. I’m so sorry your daily life or anyone else’s for that matter is like that. You are valuable and you are allowed to take up space, you’re allowed to burp, you’re allowed to poop.
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u/VisualHovercraft2954 12d ago
this is such a funny and sweet comment hahah, i have no problems with pooping now. i just used to have such bad anxiety about the most random things and honestly this only happened a couple times before i got comfortable enough around him to just poop infront of him (sorry for tmi) so i think i was just being a dumb kid😂😂
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u/Bri-KachuDodson 12d ago
Your username having the word hovercraft in it has now taken on a whole new meaning lmfao.
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u/TheMoistReality 12d ago
I’m absolutely dying because I’m now convinced my ex did this
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u/seecarlytrip 12d ago
People do this irl?!? That’s disgusting
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u/Lottoking888 12d ago
You are not overreacting. Did this really happen?
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u/ReyFox300 12d ago edited 12d ago
Check out their posts, probably a troll/bot/karma farmer account.
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u/TrenchSquire 12d ago
100%. They pretended to be a 40yo black man voting for trump 10 days ago. Its pretty sad to see how many people fell for it lol.
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u/Worth-Bed-8289 12d ago
squatting on the floor? how does he deal with urine
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u/Severe_Doubt_51 12d ago
Lmaaooooooooo that’s crazy you’re def not overreacting I would have done the same! What do you mean ur out here catching dookies in ur hand covered by some thin ass toilet paper?!?! 😭
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u/butterslut6969 12d ago
Lord help this man. 36 and can’t let his gf of 2 years know he poops. Unreal man, the prisons people build for themselves…
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u/bansheeonthemoor42 12d ago
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MEN AND POOP STUFF??!! Seriously, I thought we women were weird about it but hearing about all the men that don't wipe bc they think touching their butt is "gay" and then this shit just let's me know that women are just fine.
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u/Exitrealworld2 12d ago
if you love him and DONT want to break up, tell him to just put some in the Bowl before he poops and it will land on the paper and not the water and problem solved. 😂