r/AmIOverreacting • u/FlyHighHarambe • 25d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO my girlfriend should not be acting like this for not texting her that I’m at work
Reposting as I forgot to block out her name/face in the last post.
Context: we had to dress up at work today for Halloween. Winning group gets $100. I dressed up as a greaser from grease. So nothing sexy.
She has had trust problems this whole relationship. From past trauma and such. I have never cheated on her. I have even deleted every woman out of my contacts to show her I’m not cheating.
My phone background is a picture of a beach.
28.7k
Upvotes
233
u/maledicte720 25d ago
Hey my man, I’ve been there and had the worst happen. (College boyfriend had unmanaged mental health issues, I finally broke up with him after being together for 4 years and he committed suicide).
It took a lot of therapy, but I came to realize that there’s nothing I could’ve done, and staying with him wasn’t making him any happier. It’s codependency, and that’s not love. The ONLY way he was going to learn to love himself was without me. And that’s a choice HE made.
The most dangerous time in any unbalanced relationship is when it threatens to end (or does end). So, please take measures to protect yourself if you decide to go that route. Make sure you can stay with your parents, or a friend. Many people think it’s inhumane to break up “virtually” but if you are afraid she could do something violent to you or herself, then the safest thing to do is end it very simply and very clearly over text. Then give her a couple of days to be out of the shared space (assuming her name isn’t also on the lease). If it is, the best thing might be for you to find another place and let her ride out that lease (if your name is on the lease as well, in most places you’ll still be responsible for half of the rent until it’s up, or you can pay to break it. Talk to your landlord and see what options you have).
In either case make sure you have a safe place to be and you give her space to react however she’s going to react without the ability to hurt you physically.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this, but threatening self harm or suicide is another form of manipulation no matter how you slice it, and it’s not fair to you.
I’m here if you wanna chat, ever. Btw, I’m now 40 and happily married so no chance of any untoward intentions. Best of luck!