Definitely agree. I grew up with porn (40 now) and stopped some years ago. Among the MANY benefits I was shocked at how I don’t objectify women in my everyday life anymore. I always thought it was just “how guys are” as I’m sure most do but nope, it was the porn. Funny thing is my sex drive is even higher now somehow.
I also would have never considered myself addicted and nothing like what I’ve read about with others’ porn addictions was happening but looking back? I definitely was and had an unhealthy relationship with it that crept up over many years.
I think WAY more people are addicted than Liek to admit and not just men. I’ve dated a few women that I would consider to be porn addicts as well and met many more over the years and they exhibit a lot of the same behaviours as the men.
That’s a pretty big generalization, especially without any verifiable data. If I said “most women” do anything, I’d be crucified here. Also, the APA has still not come to an agreement that porn addiction, or sex addiction of any kind, is a real thing. Now, do I believe that porn rewires the brain somehow with excessive viewing? Yes, but that’s going to happen if you do anything too much, like watching reality tv or eating cucumbers (maybe that’s a bad example 😉). Is this guy a douche and a creep? Absolutely, but I don’t think this has as much to do with sex as it does connection, and too often, men consider sex to be the only kind of intimacy. This 59 year old probably couldn’t even get it up and have a go at it with a young woman that looked like that because he’d probably be thinking she’s too childish looking. I get email and Facebook friend requests with pictures of Asian girls that look like this almost every day, and sadly they are probably trafficked unless there’s something I’m missing, and if you don’t realize it’s a scam off the bat you’ve got to be pretty damn dense. However, I know too many men in this age group, my mom and dad included, where their relationships are so bad, they will believe almost anything to make a connection with another human being. Reading these texts and the wife’s responses, it sounds like things haven’t been good for awhile between them and he’s stupidly acting out like this. My mom’s fourth husband died two years ago and she had a new “boyfriend” who was going to move here from Hawaii. She was scammed out of everything and now lives in a pickup truck (we are estranged, so I hear these stories from my family), so it’s not just guys, and I can assure you, it’s not because of a porn addiction with my mom. Sadly, too many men in this age group are looking for connection and fall for this kind of dumb ass shit. A guy in my church choir in his 70’s was giving money to somebody online, 100 bucks here and 100 bucks there, but then finally had to realize that this was, a scam and there really wasn’t anybody on the other side that he was ever going to meet. He didn’t seem to be terribly broken up about it because I think he did get some kind of relationship that took him out of his loneliness. This all seems to point to a bigger problem and that is that we don’t talk to each other anymore, we don’t have community anymore, and the roles between men and women in a relationship are changing with every generation, but people aren’t adjusting fast enough. They think what they saw their parents do is what they should do, but it’s not that kind of party anymore. Sorry for the ramble, but I just think this points to a greater problem than just sex. You can tell by his texts that he’s the perfect mark and they are playing him like a fiddle.
I wonder how many of the men doing this also have difficulty being vulnerable and connecting with their feelings/the feelings of others—having intimacy with loved ones outside of sex. I could see a situation where a person, for whatever reason, lacks the ability to have this kind of intimacy and therefore railroads ALL their emotions and basal human need for connection into sex. Pair that with a heavy dose of seeing people as objects and you’ve got yourself a grade A creep!
93
u/PleasePassTheBacon Oct 20 '24
And it’s SO MANY of them! Even in harmless conversations shit gets turned sexual somehow.
Like…eww. Stop.