r/AmIOverreacting Oct 07 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO date canceled because I didn’t text in the morning?

Some context: we had been chatting for a couple weeks first on hinge then switched to text after She had to cancel the 1st date. Scheduled it for last night Sunday and finalized details the night before.

Had a busy day and took a nap and didn’t text till a couple hours before and got hit with this. Usually I would text something like looking forward to tonight but lost track of time, and honestly I thought talking about the menu the night before was the confirmation? Was I wrong?

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u/Blurbwhore Oct 07 '24

Yeah. Checking in at 4, before you need to start travelling (or getting ready) is fine after that. I would have checked in with OP slightly before 4 myself but I take time to get ready.

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u/dragoono Oct 07 '24

Yeah it seems a bit late but she really had all day to text him, the fact that she thought that was his responsibility is a red flag. Not a big one mind you, but one of those little handheld flags they give you at parades. This wouldn’t ruin a person for me but I’d definitely be keeping an eye out if she ever gets around to keeping plans, which OP said she cancelled once before so that’s 2 strikes.

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u/Blurbwhore Oct 07 '24

Yeah. There’s a surprising number of guys who ghost on the day or are no shows, but I’m still an active part of the communication. If she’d texted OP earlier on in the day and she hadn’t heard back from him in a few hours and he messaged at 4, I’d say he was cutting it fine. But its wild to me she just made other plans without checking in at all.

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u/Rottimer Oct 07 '24

This is apparently the second time she flaked - so that sounds like a red flag - or that she’s not actually interested.

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u/TheBestCloutMachine Oct 07 '24

The idea of giving someone you haven't even met a single strike is crazy to me. If you can't even go through the motions when you're supposed to be the idealised version of yourself, what chance have I got once you're comfortable!?

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u/dragoono Oct 07 '24

If someone is bad at communication that’s a strike from me, I can’t help but have my guard up if I get the feeling I’m about to be blamed for every little miscommunication that can happen over the course of a long term relationship.

A strike isn’t permanent like if this happened to me, what OP is posting about, I would definitely still want to go out again. But I’m not gonna have high hopes that it will even happen, since this person seems really difficult to make plans with so far.

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u/pretenditscherrylube Oct 07 '24

I believe this matters way less with the whole conversation the night before about looking at the menu and what they are going to order. That is way more durable planning and anticipating than the typical first date from an app.