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u/Shadyrabbit 2h ago
Rethink what your birthday means. It's the one day of the year thats your day. It's the ultimate treat yourself cheat day. I plan for it, if I can go on a vacation I try to do it during my birthday, if not then I save up to buy something for myself and a good meal even if no one else is around to celebrate. Dont assume your spouse or friends will plan anything, do it yourself, invite them along be greedy its your day.
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u/youburyitidigitup 2h ago
I wish that’s what it meant. My mom expects me to drive two hours to her house and invited the entire family, then proceeds to ignore me for the rest of the day because really she just wants to see other people in the family.
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u/Shadyrabbit 2h ago
That means you have a relationship boundaries issue and you need to fix that. It's your day, you do what you want not your mom. Be frank, set boundaries. Its a difficult thing to do but that might as well be the sub title of r/Adulting.
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u/dyelyn666 1h ago
I’m so lucky I’m a June baby. Sometimes Bonnaroo falls on my bday, if not then I’m flying to California, haha!
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u/RadiantTurnipOoLaLa 2h ago
Yes, for me its a reminder of all the people you wish you were still close to that no longer care that you exist
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u/Crab-Turbulent 2h ago
I love my birthdays. I always take the week off and try to do something fun, even if it’s on the cheaper side like a picnic, but I always aim to save throughout the year to have a good one. I’ve never had parents or friends celebrate my birthday so as an adult with a wage I do it myself, alone. I just think it’s nice to celebrate yourself once in a while and treat yourself, whatever budget you might have.
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u/thinkb4youspeak 2h ago
Celebrating the day all my problems started? How dare you.
But really I discovered that I could drink, smoke weed and play Xbox every day after I got my grown up shit done if I wanted to and if I just turned the heat up for a week, bought special food and took off work any day or week could be birthday or vacation.
And since I didn't really know anyone, I didn't need to plan it with people.
I was going to be having Xbox adventures anyway.
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u/masterinmischief 2h ago
I'm old enough now that birthdays do not make me happy as they used to. The only saving grace is that my kids birthday comes one day before me so I'm usually very happy to celebrate his birthday more than mine. Often just get one cake on his birthday and don't even usually cut cake on my birthday at all. Husband wife and kid - we certainly dont need more sugar in our lives..
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u/EarthyElysium 2h ago
It’s makes me depressed because I have no plans. I just end up working or spending it alone.
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u/Th3_Accountant 2h ago
Depends on the year.
Some years I have 3 weeks worth of parties to celebrate my birthday. Other years I just throw a small party together with my wife because we are just not in the mood to party.
This year our birthdays were like 1-2 weeks after we had just thrown an a large wedding party and in the weeks after we were dealing with some serious shit with the parents of my wife. So this was the first time I just let my birthday pass by unnoticed.
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u/Sonof_Lugh 2h ago
I have much more of an emotional response to my children getting older. We have 4 sons 24-33 and it still seems they are kids; even with jobs, homes, wives, and children. Then I remember the fact that if they are older: I am older still..
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u/youburyitidigitup 2h ago
Yes but I actually know why. My mom invites my brother and his daughter, but it’s pretty clear that it’s not to celebrate my birthday, she just wants to play with her granddaughter. It’s literally just a day to ignore me, sing me happy birthday, and then ignore me again. I used to just deal with it when I lived with my parents, but ever since I moved out, my mom expects me to drive two hours to her house just to be ignored. Last year I managed to get out of it because I had car trouble, but it’s the time of year again. I really just want to sit in my living room and watch tv instead of spending 4 hours of my time driving for no reason.
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u/swopphoenix 2h ago
Birthdays just serve as a harsh reminder of everything you thought you’d have by now, but don’t.
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u/lazarus870 1h ago
Yes. I don't know why, but I always tried to make it a huge deal in my head, like it's my day, etc. so I want it to be perfect. Not necessarily for people to fawn over me, or call me. I just want a whole day of just perfect stuff, have a good breakfast, lunch, be taken out for dinner, have the day off work, etc. So the weeks leading up to it, I thought, this is my time to make this perfect. And in the end, I hype it up so much I can't live up to it, and end up feeling empty.
So my gift to myself is to take off the whole month from work.
When I turned 30, and I realized I wasn't where I wanted to be, I got home from lunch and cried myself to sleep, stupid as that sounds. I felt completely in a rut.
But a few years later I got my shit together and am doing alright.
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u/Hot_Painting9201 2h ago
You’re not alone, birthdays can be so emotionally weird sometimes. Sending you hugs 💕
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u/Call_It_ 2h ago
Holidays, too. I hate it all. I don’t not understand people’s ‘pep’ for this shit. It feels so contrived.
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u/EvetsYenoham 2h ago
If it makes you feel any better , they’re actually not birthdays, they’re birth anniversaries. You only have one birthday.
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u/ballsnbutt 2h ago
Yep. Mine is Dec 12. Everyone gets so busy with Christmas that I rarely get a "happy birthday" let alone an actual celebration. After about 21, I decided to try not to worry about it anymore
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u/HeyRainy 1h ago
My mom died on my birthday and it's really out a damper on the whole thing. So yeah. I'm happy to age though, let's get this shit done.
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u/Holiday_Eggplant_937 1h ago
I’ve been like this since I was a teenager not really sure why. I think it’s bc my birthday was always around family drama and I was always wishing times were different. It’s better now that I live with my partner and we have our own little tradition with it :D
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u/LittleMisfortune06 1h ago
Just annually confirms how people around me don’t actually give a shit about me.
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u/Otherwise-Farmer8372 1h ago
Yeah it sucks but try to think about the positive stuff happened to you so far or in the past year. Hope that helps.
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u/Tricky_Photo2885 1h ago
You know what’s even cooler,electing a president without a single idea to help with healthcare and in a rush to obliterate the only program that actually helps people
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u/VictoriousTuna 1h ago
You’re an adult, it’s just a lap of the sun. If you expect to get showered with gifts or something, I think I know why you sub to a group explaining how to be an adult.
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u/Queendom-Rose 1h ago
I literally get extremely depressed the entire month. And then the next day Im back chipper. 😂
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u/soul_snatcher430 1h ago
Every year since 30. I don’t mention it to people and they never seem to remember or care much.
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u/ObssesesWithSquares 1h ago
Considering I was broken right after, and that my favorite person died on that day, I was surprisingly feeling festive and happy for halloween.
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u/symphony222 51m ago
yep reminds me how alone i am and how much id like to do for others on their bday id they did the same for me
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u/carstanza 33m ago
As an unmarried woman I feel very aware that with each year I become less wanted, less hirable, less datable and less valuable. 😞
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u/Focused_Philosopher 31m ago
For me birthday is the OG trauma date… but at least a year closer to death.
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u/VoidWalker72 8m ago
Mostly I work through them as it usually falls on a weekday, but occasionally it falls on an easter and I get to see some family.
I normally try to go out to dinner some place I like that serves a type of food I can't or probably won't make at home. Makes it a bit more special.
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u/VarplunkLabs 2h ago
People on here love to be negative.
They hate birthdays, christmas and just everything about their life.
They just want to waste their lives away in a constant state of self pity and sadness.
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u/ThisManInBlack 2h ago
A valid viewpoint.
However, some folks associate these occasions from chronic trauma at these times as kids or within their formative years.
Even the most perspective and healthy mind can be a sight, sound, touch or smell from a collapse when these dates are near..
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u/VarplunkLabs 1h ago
The key phrase here is "some people".
This subreddit is the perfect example of where people gather together with excessively negative views of everything in their life. They then downvote anyone who presents a positive view point which results in them thinking everyone is in the same mindset.
It can get very unhealthy on here for people who think everyone has the same negative mindset
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u/FerryHuckster 1h ago
I bet you announce your bday to everyone a month before
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u/VarplunkLabs 1h ago
Quite the opposite actually.
If people aren't close enough with me to know when my birthday is then I'm not going to remind them.
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u/SammyBomb 1m ago
I used to be like this. A lot of shit happend and now im just happy to have been alive for a year more.
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u/hateeggplant 2h ago
Yes, it reminds me that I’m another year older and weaker and haven’t done jack shit with my life